Puffskein
Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Canada
Posts: 2,438
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Ok, this is the 2nd-to-last chapter. I'm stuck on the last little bit of the final chapter (chapter 18), so ya, it'll take some time...
This is a LONG post (either that or the pre-written message I put in the chapter... both are kinda long  ).
Anyways... *start with prewritten message ish put a few weeks ago when chapter was done*
The title is from the song ‘Goodbye My Lover’ (if you know who, ya, I wouldn’t be surprised. I just don’t feel like repeating it cause it’s in the chapter) It was a hard choice... but honestly, this song totally suits the relationship between Sirius and Dezi (Broken by Seether almost won... but this song actually makes me cry... and NO SONG makes me cry! Because of the song... reading it and currently listening... I actually cried at reading this chapter... and I WROTE IT!).
I mean, excluding the ‘I’d be the father of your child’ part cause that’s just there cause it’s in the song... (that one part ain’t working for Siri-kins and Dezi...... and I’ll just stop on that topic now...) but ignoring only that part, the song totally works! 
Well... tons of songs totally work. Broken, Goodbye My Lover, My Heart Will Go on... (that just came from me writing ‘come back’, reminded me of Rose from the scene where Jack died) and like... You’re Beautiful would work kinda but not as well as the first three... ya, you get it!
Enjoy!
Sarah Chapter 17
Goodbye My Lover
Dezi looked around the room in which she had found herself in. There were five four-poster beds with a redish curtain. She just seemed to know it was a Gryffindor boys’ dormitory room. Just as she was about to look around, the door opened.
“Why don’t you ask Ariel to Hogsmeade, Padfoot?”
Dezi spun around and face what seemed to be a mirror image of Harry, but this boy had a differently-shaped nose, a bit longer, as well as a thinner face. His hair was just as messy and the same raven-black as Harry’s. His eyes were rounder and had a hazed colour, set behind glasses that were identical to Harry’s. It took Dezi a split second to recognize the boy as James Potter.
“Why should I?”
Dezi looked at the door once more and saw Sirius following James inside. He looked exactly as Dezi remembered, but a tad more sullen, even if he tried to look cheery.
“She was hinting it enough,” another voice inputted. “‘I heard there’s a Hogsmeade trip on Friday’.”
Dezi saw a young Remus Lupin close the door behind his friends. He still looked fairly weary for his true age. If Dezi didn’t know he was James’s and Sirius’s friend, she would’ve mistaken him for an older than he really was, since he was already beginning to have a few strands of grey hair among his neatly-kept light brown hair.
“Maybe I just want to go alone,” Sirius responded firmly. “That is... unless one of you two are going alone...”
“Sorry, Paddy, but I know I can’t,” James cut in, beaming. “It’s...”
“Your first real date with Evans, we know,” Sirius finished.
“How’d you know?” James asked, surprised.
“That’s all you’ve been talking about for the past day and a half,” Sirius responded flatly.
“Really?”
“I can honestly say that once she finally gave into your pleas...”
“I don’t plea!” James snapped indignantly.
“I wouldn’t expect you to speak of anything else,” Sirius concluded with a smirk. Dezi smiled; she never truly saw him smirk before, she thought it was cute.
Remus chuckled. James ignored Remus and looked at Sirius oddly; examining him.
“What...?” Sirius asked warily.
“Since when’d you ever smirk?” James asked. “Other than at The Three Broomsticks when flirting with Madam Rosmerta of course...”
“Since I feel like it. I can smirk when I want, they don’t have to be arrogant all the time,” Sirius responded simply.
“You’ve changed...” James muttered.
“So I made a face at the ‘wrong time’ and suddenly I’ve ‘changed’?” Sirius asked demandingly, his grey eyes sparkling in budding anger.
“You’ve just been all... moody since you came back from who the hell knows where. Where’d you go by the way?”
“I’m not mopey!” Sirius exclaimed in defiance, his sullen expression long gone.
“Then go ask Ariel to Hogsmeade!” James shot back at him. Dezi looked at Remus, wondering why the 7th year prefect hasn’t bothered to say anything. She couldn’t help but chuckle when she saw him sitting on the end of a bed, just reading. She made a mental note to ask Lupin why he never intervened when Sirius and James fought.
“I don’t want to, ok?” Sirius responded simply, punching each word to make it clear.
“What happened to the days when you’d just have to walk up to a girl and she’d answer ‘yes’ before you’d even ask? What happened to your ‘she’s pretty’ and you’re gone, two days later seen in a classroom for detention because you two were found snogging in some out of bounds area?” James demanded. “What happened to... to you?” his voice lowered to a barely audible whisper.
“Everyone changes eventually, Prongs,” Sirius responded with a sigh. James’s expression changed drastically.
“Are you implying I’m just as mature as...?”
“The day I met you? I have to admit, sometimes!” Sirius cut in coolly.
“I’m only assuming you’re not going to ask Ariel...” Remus stopped when he saw James’s and Sirius’s expressions turn on him. Remus went back to reading.
James turned his blazing expression back to Sirius. Shaking his head slowly, James finally asked, “Where were you last year that made you change so much?”
Sirius sighed and turned away, head hanging.
“Did the stolen time-turner have anything to do with it?” Remus asked. Sirius just shrugged, refusing to answer the question.
“I can’t explain without being outcasted even more,” was all he responded. The room was silent for a few minutes. Dezi was starting to wonder why she hadn’t disappeared yet.
“When you come around and back to your normal self, you’ll find us...”
“Us?” Remus practically squeaked.
“In the common room.” Dezi watched James turn around and grab Remus by his robes, dragging him out of the room.
Sirius dropped onto the bed with a thump, his elbows resting on his thighs and his face in his hands. Dezi watched him for a few minutes, unmoving. He reached under the bed and opened the trunk. He dug through it, making a big pile of clothes lying around the trunk as he tried to find what he was searching for. Dezi sat down on the bed directly across from his and just watched silently. She then saw him pull out a picture frame.
The dream changed, only for a moment; she saw the picture in which Sirius was holding. It was a picture taken at Hogwarts by Cailyn back in February. The picture of the two covered in snow; Dezi was hanging off of Sirius. She was surprise he kept it; she never saw it on him when he left.
The only sound Dezi heard was her breathing. After a few moments, the silence was broken. Very faintly, she heard Sirius singing.
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow. Fresh tears fell loose from Dezi’s eyes. She heard that song just a few days before the dreaded letter came... she loved listening to the muggle singer, James Blunt. It was her favourite song, but she never really took the time to listen to the words. Even if she had, she never, in her life, imagine they’d incorporate into her own life. Before she knew it, the room faded of its colour and she was slowly disappearing from the dream.
“No.... please... come back!”
“Dez...?”
Dezi pulled away from the touch she felt upon her shoulder. She refused to open her eyes, she didn’t want the dream to go away. She felt warm hands cup her face and force her to look at whoever did so. She hated the feeling of being watched, so she forced herself to open her eyes. In front of her was a blurred vision of Harry sitting in front of her, and next to him was Ginny.
“What’s wrong?” Harry asked worriedly as she tried to pull away once more.
“Everything!” Dezi sobbed, nearly screaming the word as tears continued to fall down her pale cheeks. “Everything last year, everything now, everything that’s ever happened to me! My only close friend being a figment of the past that’s really been dead for 20 years! Dumbledore.... he just had to tell me it’s all fake because it’d... it’d never work! Separated by 31 years! Everything that’s ever been good in my life... has disappeared! Friends... Hogwarts... mom and dad... Sirius! Everyone hated me at... Hogwarts, and most still do! All because I’m the... the ‘mudblood Malfoy’! My friend of 6 years... just a fake! By the time I actually got friends... it can take a summer to break it all off! Mom... dad... Sirius... all dead and have been for years! It’s not fair! It’s all been bad for me! It’s like Dementors have been living in me, there’s nothing good left!”
Dezi tried to push herself out of the chair, but it barely took Harry any strength to get her to sit back down. Despite that, he still kept a firm grip on her shoulder. She thrashed around as she tried to get away; she even tried punching and kicking her way out. Harry held her where she was, taking the blows, for the next few minutes.
“Maybe you should just let her go...”
“No, Gin,” Harry responded flatly.
“How would you feel if you were being pinned by someone...”
“Your mind would be too befuddled to notice.”
“Oh ya, because Dezi hasn’t noticed at all...” Ginny said sarcastically just as Dezi nailed her foot into Harry’s knee. He winced slightly; it was the hardest kick he’d gotten yet.
“You do know it’d just be easier when her ‘mind wasn’t as befuddled’,” Ginny pointed out. Harry gave her a small glare.
“Oh, come on, Harry! You know her as well as me, and you know exactly what she’s lost. Hell, you even understand half of it! She’s lost her parents, she lost one she’s loved...”
“And yet did I let it out by doing this?” he snapped back, cutting Ginny off.
“No,” Ginny responded. Harry started to smile smugly until he heard her next comment: “You bottled it up.” Harry gaped.
“I did not!”
“Yes, you did! You never talked to anyone about what happened after you and Hermione broke up, not even me; why you wouldn’t talk to Ron is just a given, but honestly...”
“For God’s sake, you two are worse than me!” Dezi exclaimed. She rubbed away a few tears that kept falling and took advantage of Harry’s surprise by pushing his hands away and she ran down the hall, awaking Mrs. Black.
“MUDBLOODS! BLOOD TRAITORS...”
“OH SHUT UP YOUR OLD HAG!” Dezi screamed as she passed by.
__________________  Siggy from Lissy and Anna's Shop of Super Frazzling Graphics
Last edited by MalfoyzBeloved; 02-07-2007 at 11:30 PM.
Reason: being an idiot and mistaking 'head' for 'hand'...
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