Since the MOAFF is being deleted I am posting my entry here......

:star: Lotus's MOAFF :star:
This story begins at breakfast, for, where else does one start the day?
The house tables were a buzz with students chatting about the ‘Man of the Year’ Awards. Which coincidentally, is being held at Hogwarts……….why? Because your author said so.

All the male teachers were on their best behaviour, believing that they might be in with a chance to win. “Ha……er.…Sorry”. blurted the author.
The students were loving the contest because it was making the teachers act rather strangely.
It was even overheard, some of the teachers were buying votes.

“Psst……Malfoy! called a voice from under the slytherin table.
Draco looked around for the source, but gave it up to his imagination.
“Draco! Down here, under the table.”
“Huh?” draco looked down, and there was the head of flitwick in his lap. He gave a very girly shriek and nearly fell backwards off the bench.
Luckily for him everyone else was distracted by Sirius’s (who turned up for the Awards)rendition of Hakuna Matata, from the lion king, which he started when someone far....”Ted!” interrupted a voice for no particular reason. Anyway back to the issue at hand.

“What are you DOING?!?” malfoy demanded, recovering from his almost heart attack.
“My apologies Mr Malfoy but I really must talk to you, it’s urgent, and I must not be seen.” squeeked the little man who happened to be wearing a banana muffin costume.
Glancing around draco answered. “I can see why…..Fine, but meet me in the hall closet, that’s where I have all my secret meetings.”

All of a sudden a commotion broke out, over by the Griffindor’s.
Voldemort was standing in the middle of the table, wearing a pointy princess hat, with his hands out stretched towards Harry.
“Die Harry Pott…....ahhh no, must-not-kill! Yesss Killll!! Nooo!” voldy seemed to be having trouble deciding.
Dumbledore stood. “Tom, what are you doing here?!? This cannot be, it’s against the rules!”
“Geese, I finally found a way around apparating on Hogwarts grounds, and now that the Man of the Year Awards are on, if kill Harry now, I’ll lose votes.
Grrrrr……bah, alright but I’ll be back for you later…….how’s 2:00 for you?” with that he dashed down the table and out of the hall. His princess hat veil steaming out behind him.
Everyone just turned to look at their neighbour and shrugged.

But Ron just sat there staring at Harry, with his eyebrows raised.
“Ron.” demanded hermione. “Lower your eyebrows this minute, or I’ll take them away, and you will have no eyebrows to raise.”
One of Ron’s eyebrows went down, but he continued to stare.
“……both-of-them.” added hermione. “That’s better. Come on we better be getting off to class considering how weird the teachers are, who knows what will happen.”

--------------------

The three of them got up and as they past by the kitchen, Harry stopped.
“Wait…….I can smell something. It’s coming from the kitchen. Lets go look!” he tickled the pear and opened the door.
They saw a table near them with a single doughnut on a plate, they looked past it. There in the centre of the room was a gathering of house elves around what appeared to be a large block of quite smelly cheese. The elves turned to see the three students standing in the doorway, and began edging toward them. From behind, a figure rose, pointed and said something that sounded like Bushman talk, with a lot of tongue clacking.
“Who is that lady, and what is she saying?” asked ron.
“Oh my goddess,”
“Yes?” Interrupted the author but everyone just ignored her.
“It’s Cassirin Queen of Cupcaketopia and I think she’s speaking House Elvish, (which sounds remarkably like Bushman).
I may be wrong, but it sounds like she is saying ‘Protect the sacred cheese, kill the intruders.’”
The house elves approached, carrying some dangerous teaspoons which they had magiciked into existence, oddly enough, when they could’ve just blown the intruders to pieces instead, but we’re not picky.
“Umm, Hermione……you might be right…….I’m thinking we should RUN!!” screamed ron, after grabbing the doughnut, then he fled up some stairs. The other two were hot on his heals, and as the sounds of tiny feet and house elf war cries faded into the distance, pretty soon they found themselves in an unfamiliar corridor with one triangular shaped door.

“Wow, where are we? What a strange door.” ron moved closer, til he had his ear right up against it.
“Be careful Ron, you never know….” but it was too late.
“Wahhh-uhh.” ron screamed as he fell through the oddly shaped door, hit the floor and dropped his doughnut.
Laying on his back he looked up and saw a horrifying sight, two dementors gliding towards him, and even worse, towards HIS doughnut. The air grew chill, Harry was already passed out with Hermione slapping him as hard as she could. When that didn’t work she started kicking his shins too. (the author watched on, giggling)
“Oh, your-stressing-me-out!” she says in between kicks, as her hair starts to go grey.
Without a second thought, Ron dived for the doughnut and crammed it into his mouth as fast as he could.
At the sudden movement, the dementors moved faster, but carelessly tripped on their own clumsy feet.
“We are not clumsy! There was a bump in the carpet.” they protested.
The author scoffed. “There was no bump, this room doesn’t even have carpet, it’s got polished wood floors .”

Hermione noticed something peculiar when the two cloaked ones stumbled.
“Are those pink TIGHTS?!”
“No!”
“They are!” she rushed over and pulled up their cloaks. “You’re wearing PINK TIGHTS!”
“Hermione! You don’t go pulling up…uh…other...things cloaks!” yelled ron.
After grabbing back their robes, one of the dementors burst into tears.
“Now look what you’ve done. Not only have you hurt Bob’s feelings, but you ate the only doughnut we’ve seen in two days! We’ve been forced to eat biscuits and milk instead of our coffee and jelly doughnuts. How are Dementors supposed to live on milk and cookies, I ask you?!?”

Hermione was dumbfounded.
“I…ah…um……sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, it’s just not everyday you see dementors wearing pink tights.”
“Yeah, I’m thorry too.” said ron as he finished his mouthful.
“Ah it’s ok, we’re just a little peeved because they kicked us out of Azkaban for trying to make the death eater inmates happier. We got sick of feeding off all that unhappiness, and tried to make them taste better.
But does anyone care about us? No….”

Voldemort runs in through the open door, this time wearing the Cheshire cat on his head. He walks up to unconscious Harry, checks his watch and says,
“It’s 2:00, I believe we have an appointment.”
“What happened to your other hat?” asked ron.
“Someone stole it, now I have to use this.” he pointed to the cat. Then pulled out his wand and casts a spell at harry.
“Creshio Hobbitus.”
Harry is turned into a hairy footed hobbit, but is still unconscious.
“Oh drat! That was meant to cut his legs off, since I can’t try and kill him. I guess I’ll have to wait for it to wear off and come back later to finish the job, because Hobbits are resistant to magic you know.”
“How convienient.” commented the author.
“What was that? Hmm, oh well must dash. Evil to kill and people to do………wait, reverse that.” with that said, voldy strides out of the room.

Continued..............