Before He Cheats

I got inspiration for this one-shot fic from a Carrie Underwood song. This is Dr/Hr.


I dug my key into the side,
Of his pretty little supped-up four-wheel drive,
Carved my name into his leather seats;
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
Slashed a hole in all four tires,
Oh, maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats!

Hermione’s stereo was playing that song in her dorm room. She sat on the sill of the open window and faced the Quidditch pitch before her, a bitter tear leaking down her cheek.

“He said I was the only one,” she kept repeating to herself. “But now he has Lynette, that brainless bleach-blond snake!”

Suddenly, two white blond heads, walking very close together emerged form the castle and began toward the Quidditch pitch. One of the heads was unmistakably Draco’s and the other Lynette’s. Just as the song broke into a chorus again, so came a new wave of tears for Hermione. They weren’t exactly tears of sadness, but tears of anger and spite.

“Hermione, you’re the only one for me,” she mocked his voice in a disgusted tone. “There is no one else… HAH what utter rubbish!”

She stared out the window and saw Draco and Lynette walk through the gates of the pitch. Hermione already knew about them for two weeks, but she still played dumb, like nothing was going on.

Hermione stood, slammed the window shut, and drew the curtains. With an angry flick of her wand the stereo went off and grabbing her jacket, Hermione ran out of the dorm and into the main castle.

Hermione walked quickly through the castle, a plan for revenge forming in her mind. It was a good one, indeed and it was about to go into action.

“I’m not going to sit around and let him abuse me like that!” thought Hermione. “That jerk just cheated on the wrong girl!”

She found herself at one of the castle’s utility closets. Seeing no one was around, she went in. A dark, musty odor filled her nostrils, but Hermione shut the door and started to look about.

“Lumos!” she muttered and her wand lit up. There was not much in there, but there were some cleaning items, confiscated prank items, and an axe and sledge hammer.

“Ahhh,” said Hermione picking the two up. “Let’s see what your Firebolt looks like when I’m done with it!”

She quickly left the closet with the two items hidden behind her jacket. She made her way through the Great Hall and toward the oak doors. Once outside, without sparing a breath, Hermione advanced to the Quidditch pitch with a malicious look on her face.

She carefully walked around the outside of the pitch, trying to spot Draco and Lynette, but then she heard snatches of conversation:

“Draco, am I your only girl?”

“Yes, Lynn, you are the only one!”

“Rubbish!” Hermione scoffed as she advanced to the spot where the voices were coming from. The sight that met her eyes was typical in this kind of situation. Just as Hermione predicted, Draco and Lynette were in a secluded corner making out.

“Well, Draco, let’s see how you like this!” thought Hermione going back around to the broom shed.

The shed was surprisingly clean and organized when Hermione walked. Four racks, each the color of each house stood in neat rows on one wall. The Quidditch balls and Beater clubs were locked up in separate boxes in another corner. Uniforms lined the far wall, each complete with their protective gear.

Hermione sauntered up to the Slytherin broom rack and began to run her finger across the different brooms. Finally, at the end of the rack, she found the sleek, newly polished Firebolt, emblazoned with Draco’s full name.

“Well, well, well,” said Hermione picking up the broom. “Draco, this will teach you a little lesson.

She placed the broom on a stack of boxes and with no hesitation; she swung the hammer with all her might at the handle of the broom.

A splintering sound filled the room as she swung the hammer again and again at the now very battered broom stick.

Satisfied, Hermione now picked up the axe and carved her initials carefully at the end of the handle. Taking a deep breath, she swung the axe and split the handle from the tail. Then, she chopped the long, thin twigs into tiny little bits.

The broom was unrecognizable by now, but Hermione took another few whacks at the handle before dropping the hammer and leaving the shed.

Draco and Lynette were still there, locked in a close embrace when she got out. Anger steadily mounting, she walked toward them, her wand at the ready.

When she was only a few yards away, Lynette broke away and faced Hermione with a look of confusion. Draco turned around and his eyes widened.

“You know, Draco,” began Hermione. “The next you plan on cheating, it won’t be on me!”

“Hermione…”

“Save it!” she shouted. “Levicorpus!”

Draco turned upside down and flew into the air, hanging only by his ankle. Lynette gasped.

Hermione removed the piece of the handle which had Draco’s name on it and threw it at him. “You don’t want to see the rest of it!” she said in a deadly whisper before walking away.


I might save a little trouble for the next girl,
Because the next time that he cheats, oh, you know it won’t be on me!

Lea