This is evlpez's dare:
1. Harry starts a 'Voldy's Horcrux' collection
2. Hermione redecorates the Chamber of Secrets
3. Draco Malfoy is humilated (because that's fun to do to him.. )
4. Hogwarts Teachers take a day off.
5. Include proper use of the following words: screwdriver, effervescent, apt, crayon, diligence
Due date: October 20

The great hall of Hogwarts fell silent as Professor McGonagal strode towards the lecturn located at centre stage of the teachers’ area. The discordant noise of hundreds of students animatedly talking fell to the occasional hushed whisper as the new Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry prepared to speak for the first time. Professor McGonagal had been elevated to the position following the unexpected death of Professor Dumbledore at the end of last term, an event which sent shockwaves of fear throughout the wizarding world. Student numbers were down markedly, but the traditions of several hundred years of wizarding education could not be denied and so the great castle had once again opened it doors and welcomed back its loyal students.

Hundreds of pairs of eyes fell upon McGonagal, some reflecting hope and well wishes, but some were staring daggers at her out of resentment and fear. Many Slytherin students in particular, stole evil glances in the direction of the Headmistress, but most could not bring themselves to look her directly in the eye. The figure of McGonagal represented their nemesis, as both Headmistress of Hogwarts and as the new leader of the Order of the Phoenix, the organization whose members were largely responsible for apprehending dozens of the Slytherin student’s parents and sending them to Azkhaban Prison or in a few cases, killing them. Given the situation, the Slytherin students would have normally been more aggressive and defiant, but one of their ringleaders in Draco Malfoy was missing, a fugitive from the time of Dumbledore’s death due to his complicity in gaining access for the Death Eaters who attacked Hogwarts.

Over at the Gryffindor table though, Harry, Hermione and Ron, and most of their peers were fixated on McGonagal as she nervously cleared her throat and prepared to step into the large shoes of Albus Dumbledore. The normally effervescent students were quite subdued and many were overcome with the emotion of the moment. Hermione’s eyes glistened with tears and Ron coughed to disguise the tightness coming from his own throat. Harry though, stared at McGonagal with a mixture of admiration and anticipation. He admired her strength and courage for fighting for Hogwarts to remain open, a battle of wills both with the Ministry and the School board itself. Truth be known though, Harry was most anxious to access the Headmaster’s office, so that he could communicate with the portrait of Dumbledore and gain more vital clues to the whereabouts and nature of Lord Voldemort’s remaining horcruxes. He watched intently as Professor McGonagal prepared to speak.

“Students,” she said, her own voice barely stronger than Ron’s strangled croakiness. McGonagal cleared her throat once more and continued. “I am afraid that the start of term shall be delayed until further notice, possibly indefinitely.”

A buzz swept through the students at this startling revelation.

“Silence please! I assure you that this is not because of any danger posed to the student body or from any lack of diligence on the part of our teaching staff, all of whom are thoroughly prepared to commence with lessons immediately.” stated McGonagal. “However, it is my unpleasant duty to inform you that the Federated Association of Teachers and Coaches Of Wizards, or “FATCOW” as our Trade Union is known, has called a snap strike and all Professors are downing wands in support of our wage claim which is before the Wizengamot (Industrial Arbitration Subcommittee) as we speak. The membership has made a claim for a 20 galleon per week wage increase, which is apt in light of the cost of living increases we have seen in recent times. The school board has seen fit to only offer 5 galleons per week and until this dispute is resolved, students are on free time until further notice.”

A rousing cheer rose from the students and McGonagal struggled to make her voice heard over the din. “Prefects – my office now!” barked McGonagal, and she turned and swept out of the great hall and leaving the chaos behind her.

Harry never regretted more not being a prefect and having the opportunity to visit the Headmistresses office and with it, a chance to see Dumbledore’s portrait. Not wishing to make his friends uncomfortable though, he shrugged his shoulders and nodded to Ron and Hermione, who both set off for the headmistresses’ office.

They found Harry in the Gryffindor common room about an hour later. Harry raised his eyebrow in controlled anticipation as Ron and Hermione sat down on the comfortable couch near Harry.

“Firstly Harry, I know that you’ll want to know” stated Hermione. “Dumbledore’s portrait didn’t say anything. He was awake and followed the conversation in McGonagal’s office, but merely smiled and didn’t say anything at all.”

Hermione could see Harry visibly deflate and grind his teeth.

“But the good news is mate, no classes !” beamed Ron. “It’s true, the teachers are all in their offices or sleeping quarters, and the prefects are in charge!”

“Great. That’s great news.” replied Harry, who obviously didn’t feel great about it at all.

“Well, I’m certainly not going to mope about here with you two” said Hermione. “I’m going to do something constructive, like tidy up this musty old castle.”

And with that, Hermione briskly walked off, wand in hand and ready to do battle with dust and grime.

“She’s off her rocker” said Ron. "Hermione has a loose screwdriver as the muggles say"

“A loose screw” sighed Harry, who clearly wasn’t in any mood to clean a castle, unless it involved spring cleaning near Dumbledore’s portrait. Ron sat in silence with Harry for as long as he could bear it, which not unsurprisingly, was only about 3 minutes. Finally, the opportunities presented by the teachers’ strike were too enticing for Ron, and he left the Gryffindor common room, pondering out loud whether to get together a scratch Quidditch game, or join his little sister Ginny in casting bat bogey hexes at unsuspecting first year students. Harry soon tramped up to his sleeping quarters and threw himself down on his bed to mope.

The hours ticked by and Harry was roused from his morose state by the buzz of students running amok in the Gryffindor common room. Harry realised that his stomach was growling and so he set off to find Hermione or Ron and have lunch with them. Harry walked through the hallways of Hogwarts, looking for his friends. Ambushes were abundant and Harry deftly deflected several curses directed at him by foolish first or second year pranksters, many of who now found themselves covered in bat bogies thanks to Ginny’s expert tuition of Harry.

Eventually, after having no success for nearly half an hour, Harry ran into Moaning Myrtle who informed him that Hermione was cleaning up the Chamber of Secrets underneath the 2nd floor girls’ bathroom. Harry duly trudged down into the Chamber to find that Hermione had magically splashed an array of pastel colours throughout the walls of the Chamber of Secrets, making it look like some demented 2 year old giant had scribbled on the walls with an enormous crayon set. She had conjured up a kaleidoscope of colours and decorations, and sat sweating, but happy, in the middle of the chamber.

Harry couldn’t believe his eyes at the scene before him. The gaudiness of the assortment of colours turned his stomach and he suddenly lost his appetite. After making an excuse to leave this chamber of new and improved horrors, Harry made his way up to near the room of requirement. Three times, Harry walked past the area of wall where he knew the door would appear, thinking to himself that he needed to find Voldemort’s horcruxes. On the 3rd pass, a doorway magically appeared and Harry entered.

Inside was a collection of Voldemort's Horcruxes. Not the real ones mind you, but replicas of the known horcruxes that Harry was aware of. Harry found waiting for him Marvolos ring, Riddle’s diary, Hufflepuff’s cup and Slytherins’s locket. Harry though that this was a reasonable start to his horcrux collection, and spent 15 minutes blasting them with a reducto curse to destroy each horcrux item and pretending that each one was a real horcrux. Of course being the room of requirement, the horcruxes magically regenerated themselves after each curse for Harry to continue with his target practice.

From outside the room though, Harry heard a great commotion in the courtyard. He rushed to the window and saw a large crowd of students gathered around the magic gates to Hogwarts. Something was obviously up, but he couldn’t quite make out what was happening and so set off downstairs to investigate. Harry bumped into Ron on the way down, as they joined the throng of students heading towards the gates.

“You won’t believe what’s happened mate” beamed Ron. “I think that Christmas has come early”

“What do you mean?” asked Harry.

You’ll see mate, you’ll see” came the cryptic reply.

The duo elbowed past the other students and Ron used his status as a 7th year prefect to threaten and intimidate the younger students out of the way so that he and Harry could get to the front. They finally reached their goal, just in time to meet up with Hermione who had used similar tactics to get her own prime position. They looked out of the gates and in unison, dropped their jaws to the ground. Ron, Hermione and Harry looked back at each other and saw the disbelief reflected in each others eyes. As one, they turned back and stared at the bizarre sight before them.

Draco Malfoy stood outside the gate encased in ropes binding his whole body. Maple syrup and chicken feathers coated him, and he was stripped down to only his underwear. A court jester’s hat sat atop his head and around his neck hung a sign with the legend “Foolish Chicken”, written in handwriting all too familiar to Harry from his experience with the diary of Tom Riddle. Lord Voldemort had obviously been displeased with Draco and had sent him back to the clutches of the Order of the Phoenix to be ridiculed and to face trial for his participation in the attack on Hogwarts. Death was too good for Draco it seemed.

As Draco stood trembling before the laughing crowd, Harry actually felt remorse for his old nemesis. Outcast from the sides of both good and evil, Draco was truly a lost soul and an object to be pitied.

“C’mon, let’s go get him” said Harry. Hermione and Ron both raised their eyebrows in question.

“Let’s take him to McGonagal, she’ll know what to do with him” Harry stated.

A hand came down on Harry’s shoulder. “That would be Professor McGonagal, Mr Potter if you don’t mind. I will take care of things from here. Now I think that it would be most appropriate if you senior students would kindly usher the younger students back to their respective classes. FATCOW has accepted a 12 Galleon increase and the teachers are back on the job. Classes are to recommence immediately.”

The moan from Ron was cut short by the withering stare of McGonagal. Reluctantly, they turned around and started herding their charges back towards the castle, leaving Professor McGonagal to deal with the mysterious reappearance of Draco Malfoy.

“And Potter!” said McGonagal to the retreating form of Harry, who turned around to face her. “I would like to see you in my office at 7pm tonight. We have someone that we need to talk to….together.”

“Yes ma’am” smiled Harry, who turned around and ran back to join his friends, a smile on his face and a new spring in his step.

Durro
(Please feel free to leave comments/suggestions about this or any of my other EEFFD's. Thanks!)