evlpez's dare:
1. Snape enters a Potion-Inventing contest.
2. Sirius Black's ghost visits to help
3. The trio make up a tap dance routine. Tell us why.
4. Someone goes for take-out.
5. The following must be mentioned: A radio, a cup of coffee, a cat and mouse game, the Woolongong Warriors


The trio, Harry, Ron and Hermione entered the great hall together for their lunch. It was filled with chattering students and a great feast prepared by the Hogwarts' house elves. Looking for somewhere to edge in, they spied a large gap near a sullen looking Seamus, who was brooding over his lukewarm cup of coffee and half eaten lunch.

“Hey Seamus, what’s up?” asked Harry, as he slid in next to his friend from Gryffindor.

“And why are you wearing that scarf ?” demanded Hermione, in her usual officious manner. “That is clearly not conforming to school dress standards and as a Prefect, it is my duty…”

“Oh lay off him Hermione” grumped Ron who was reaching for his own coffee on the other side of the table. “Just because we’re Prefects, it doesn’t mean that we have to be complete prats you know. As if I didn’t have enough enemies as it was” sighed Ron.

“It’s my Woolongong Warriors scarf. I’m wearing it to remind me of the outside world.” replied Seamus.

“And what is wrong with Hogwarts ?” demanded Hermione, who clearly didn’t realise that Seamus was, at this moment, homesick.

“My radio and my MP3 players don’t work inside Hogwarts, so I can’t listen to my music. And it’s this.” said Seamus, gesturing around him. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, having a three course feast every meal is nice, but I just miss real food, you know?”

“Whaddaya mun rull fud?” asked Ron, gaining a disapproving stare from Hermione for daring to speak with his mouth full.

“What he means Ron is that in the muggle world, there are restaurants and take away places that sell all sorts of food, a lot of which is bad for you, but really tasty. Muggle borns and half bloods who live outside the wizard world when they’re young are usually exposed to that sort of food” Harry explained to his friend. “Even I get cravings now and then” Harry admitted.

“Tell me about it” moaned Seamus. “You know, what I could really go for right about now is a Blubber Burger.”

“A what?” asked Ron, wiping away food from the edge of his mouth with his sleeve and studiously ignoring Hermione who was rolling her eyes in exasperation.

“A Blubber Burger. It’s from that new Japanese fast food chain Geisha Goodies that sells all sorts of oriental stuff. Their Blubber Burger is whale meat, lettuce and mayonnaise on a sesame seed bun” said Harry. “Each burger contains 78 grams of fat and comes with a free Heart Attack. I mean, French fries”.

“Oh, that’s it! I’m going for take out” said Seamus with a look of resolve on his face. And with that, he got up and stormed off towards the gates of Hogwarts.

“He won’t get very far you know” said Hermione. “The gates are magically locked and can only be opened by a teacher.”

“Yes, but let’s not deny him hope” replied Harry.

“Potter ! Weasley ! Granger.”

Harry jumped in his seat as a hand came down on his shoulder.

“Lost another friend have we?” That type of sarcastic comment could only come from one person - Severus Snape was standing over Harry and Hermione and glaring over at Ron on the other side of the table.

“You would know all about that, wouldn’t you….Professor” retorted Harry, while Hermione clearly cringed and Ron shot pumpkin juice out of his nose as he gagged.

“10 points from Gryffindor for impertinence Potter. 10 points each that is.” snarled Snape.

Harry opened his mouth to protest, but Hermione’s sharp jab in the ribs warned him not to take on Snape.

“Can we help you with something Professor Snape?” asked Hermione, the edge in her voice clear to all.

“Actually you can. I have entered a potion making contest, and I would like to use three volunteers to test it for me. Any guesses on who I’ve got in mind?” sneered Snape.

“But you can’t try out potions on students ! He can’t do that, can he ?” Ron blurted out.

A clearly worried Ron turned to Hermione for guidance, who shrugged her shoulders in reply. Her eyes met Harry’s, her own fear and suspicion mirrored in his eyes.

“Actually, I can. Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to conduct a controlled experiment. I promise that nobody will get hurt….if it works properly that is. And Madame Pomfrey is available to cure any accidental….um…. poisonings.” chuckled Snape with an evil glint in his eye.

Snape bent over and poured a few drops of a clear liquid into the trio’s pumpkin juice.

“Bottoms up!” exclaimed Snape. The trio reluctantly reached for their drinks and with a supreme effort not to gag, each drank from their potion tainted juice. Harry immediately looked around at Ron and Hermione. Both seemed fine and there were no obvious changes to their appearance.

“Still breathing!” said Ron with more cheer than he actually felt. “I wonder if it actually worked. What do you think it was meant to do?”

“Dance for me. Get up on the table and do a tap dance” intoned Snape.

The trio suddenly bolted up from their places, climbed up on the dining table in the middle of the great hall, and started tap dancing. Their classmates looked on in astonishment whilst Professor Snape merely folded his arms across his chest and smirked.

Clickety click, shuffle shuffle, clickity click “I can’t stop” clickity click, turn “can’t….control” said Harry.

Tap tap, clickety click “ must….stop” clickity click, tap tap, went a grimacing Ron.

Hermione’s feet blurred as she did a series of wings and crossovers, before doing a backflip off the table and landing with her arms outstretched and yelling “Tah Dah!” before starting her tapping again.

All around the hall, the other students were laughing and pointing at the trio. Malfoy in particular was most amused, and as he took his place next to Snape, he and his Slytherin cronies took turns in hurling insults and jeering at the dance technique of the trio.

“It’s a liquid version of the Imperius curse” said Snape to his Slytherin charges. “Of course, it would be illegal to use it outside of these walls, but for teaching purposes, it is acceptable. It took me weeks to brew it, and I think that mastering such a complex potion will earn me high points in the contest, don’t you agree ?”

The Slytherins of course agreed wholeheartedly, and stayed for the floorshow for half an hour, until the effects of the potion wore off and the exhausted trio slumped down onto their bench seats at last. They hung their heads in shame as the echoes of laughter rang out around the hall.

Later that evening, Harry tossed and turned in his bed. He was absolutely furious and it took him ages to finally drift off. Once asleep, Harry’s slumber was filled with dreams of evil deeds that Snape could make him do under the influence of the imperius potion. Harry flipped and ground his teeth in his sleep, and occasionally muttered words too rude to repeat.

It was at about 3am though that Harry’s dreams turned to something else. The ghost of Sirius Black drifted into the Gryffindor common room and sat on the end of Harry’s bed. Harry’s eyes opened with a start. He rubbed them in confusion and shook his head to clear his thoughts. Still sitting there was his Godfather.

“Sirius? I must be dreaming” yawned Harry, keeping his voice low so as to not wake his snoring companions in the beds next to his.

The ghost of Sirius replied, “Be that as it may Harry, I am here to help you. It doesn’t matter if you think that this is real or a dream. What is important are my words, and so heed them.”

“OK” said Harry.

“It's about Severus Snape. I saw from the other side what he did to you and I know how you can get back at him. Now listen closely….” and Sirius leaned towards Harry, whispering instructions in a conspiratorial manner.

The next morning, Harry woke up with a smile on his face.

“What’s gotten into you?” said a clearly less than happy Ron. “I thought that you’d still be peeved at yesterday’s performance”.

“Ron, it’s a beautiful day and I have a plan to make it even better” beamed Harry. Harry brushed past Ron and took something from Ron’s trunk. “I’ll get this back to you later today”.

Ron shook his head in puzzlement and the two trudged off towards the boys’ bathroom for their morning rituals.

Later that morning, Ron and Harry joined Hermione for breakfast. The great hall was filled to capacity and the trio had to endure many taunts from sniggering students. Finally, Snape himself made a dramatic entrance into the great hall with a great swirl and swishing of his cape and an unpleasant grin plastered on his face. He advanced towards the trio, his beady eyes focussed on them. It was an unpleasant surprise to Snape then when he noticed Harry look up from his drink and smile back brightly at him.

“Potter” spat Snape as her approached them. “Why the happy face, or are you just too stupid to realise how embarrassing you were yesterday?”

“No sir,” replied Harry respectfully. “It’s just that I would like the opportunity to even the slate with a game of observation and deduction.”

“I see that our cat and mouse games continue Potter. Well then, what is it you would have me participate in?”

“Simple sir. If I may, here are three glasses of pumpkin juice. What I propose is, I add your potion to one of the cups and then shuffle them around on the table in a kind of shell game. You get to choose which cup I drink from and I then get to choose from the remaining two which one you drink. Sound fair ?”

“Sounds….childish Potter. Are you really that simple that you would challenge me with such a feeble feat ?” replied Snape.

“Well, if you’re too scared sir, I understand” said Harry bluntly.

Don’t….call….me…scared” threatened Snape, the tone of his voice taking on an icy aspect. Around them, a large crowd of students had gathered in eager anticipation of the showdown. Snape looked around and saw that he was trapped. “Alright then Potter, let’s do it.”

“If I may sir” asked Harry, his hand out for the vial of potion. Before the assembled audience, Harry lined up three glasses of pumpkin juice. He then opened the vial and tipped the contents into the middle glass. Harry handed the vial back and then moved the three glasses around on the table top. He switched them left to right, right to left and back again. Snape’s hawk-like eyes didn’t leave the glass with the potion in it for one solitary second. After several more manoeuvres, Harry finally stopped shuffling the glasses.

“Ha !” said a triumphant Snape. “That’s all too simple Potter. Frankly, I expected more of you” and with that, chose the left hand glass, which had obviously been the original middle glass with the potion in it.

Harry lifted the nominated glass to his lips and drank deeply from it. Harry then indicated the right hand glass, and as agreed, Snape drank from it, draining it in 3 swallows.

“So Potter, what shall it be then?” sneered Snape. “Cluck like a chicken for the rest of the day perhaps ? Do it then, bird brain”.

“I don’t think so," the crowd gasped as Harry calmly spoke, clearly not affected by the potion. "For you, a stripdance would be in order though sir. Up on the table now and get it off.” responded Harry and before a stunned audience, Professor Severus Snape climbed up onto the middle of the dining table in the great hall and started grinding his hips and peeling off his robes in time to inaudible music.

“how….did…you…” grimaced Snape, as he peeled off his robe and threw it at some screaming 2nd year girls.

“Simple” replied Harry. “I saved the pumpkin juice from yesterday. All of the glasses today had your imperius potion in it. We both had no choice really, but to both drink the potion.”

“but….you…..must….have.…” gasped Snape, as he rubbed his Slytherin scarf down his back and then tossed it into the cheering crowd.

“Been affected too? It was you sir who helped me. That, and some advice from an old friend late last night. Do you remember telling us in 1st year that a bezoar thrown down someone’s throat can save them from most poisons ? I simply borrowed Ron’s bezoar and swallowed it as I saw you arrive this morning. It protected me from your potion, which, as a type of unforgivable curse is classified as a poison of sorts.”

Snape continued to bump and gyrate to the chants and claps of the students, throwing his Slytherin scarf into the mosh pit that had formed around him.

“And sir” smirked Harry, “with those skinny, pasty white legs, I’d be careful who I called chicken boy from now on. Now keep going. I want the full monty”.

The students all laughed and cheered as the helpless Snape continued his strip dance. To thunderous applause, the trio stood up and high-fived each other. As several other teachers hurried in to see what all of the commotion was about, the trio turned their back on Snape, linked arms and strode triumphantly out of the great hall and into Hogwarts legend forever.

Durro
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