Chapter 11 – The first occlumency lesson



Harry, Ron and Hermione were sitting at the large table in the great hall, none of them felt ready to talk, all they could think about was Mad Eye Moody and how terrible this recent incident has affected themselves and the Order.

Hermione was looking very glassy eyed and Ron felt a huge pang of comfort towards his friend. Slowly he got up from his chair and motioned over to her. He knelt down and put his arms gently on her shoulders. Slowly she lifted her head and looked Ron directly in the face, tears slowly started rolling onto her cheeks and gently he pulled her close into his chest and embraced her while she cried softly, not making a sound, just letting her silent tears take over her in her bid to cry for a friend who helped save their lives only seven weeks ago.

Harry put his head down, Why can’t things ever be straight forward he thought to himself.

He then slowly stood up and punched his fist into his hand; he was feeling angrier by the minute. “How many more people have to get hurt.” He shouted, like venom as if he was fighting a snake with parcel tongue.

“I know it just doesn’t seem fair, it makes you wonder if we will ever be free of him.” replied Ron in a tired and sad tone that Harry never heard from his best friend often.

Hermione wiped her eyes, deep down she felt silly, and she wanted to show she was strong.

“Are you alright Hermione?” asked Ron in what was no-more than a whisper.

“I’m alright; don’t fuss over me, just being silly that’s all. The Order will get Alastor back I know they will, and we can help, you heard what Dumbledore said, we are apart of the Order now, we are here to help Harry.”

Harry was feeling more agitated. “I don’t want you getting hurt; I wish Dumbledore never said that.” he quickly turned away, not wanting to see there disappointed faces.

“Well your stuck with us whether you like it or not.” Hermione shot back.

Harry knew he couldn’t argue with her, so instead he stayed silent.

All at once there was a small voice coming from behind them, it was the unmistakeable high pitched tone of Dobby, but he was not alone, standing beside him was Winky looking much more presentable than the last time they saw her. Winky’s dirty grey dress was now a light shade of blue and she had a pink ribbon tied around her long pointed ears.

“Wow, look at you Winky, you look wonderful, off the butterbeer now are we?” said Hermione while smiling at the small house-elf.

“Yes miss, Winky is better now, thanks to her friend Dobby, he helped Winky when she was sad, missing old master.” replied Winky

Dobby beamed at Winky, he was so pleased she spoke highly of him; he twirled around on the ball of his foot to show his appreciation.

Hermione chuckled; “Well that’s what friends are for.” she glanced over to Harry and Ron. They noticed her reaction and Ron let out a warm smile, Harry however stared straight ahead and didn’t acknowledge her kind gesture.

Dobby clicked his fingers and magically at the blink of an eye a huge platter of food appeared on the table where they had been sitting previously.

All of their favourite food was laid out in front of them. “About time.” said Ron, while quickly taking his seat and grabbing a chicken leg and a large dollop of mashed potato and a spoonful of peas.

Harry gave a small yet polite smile to Dobby and thanked him for the food.

“Will you be joining us?” Harry asked the elves. “No, No, this is the surprise, I wanted to show Harry Potter that Dobby helped get Winky better.” replied the elated House Elf.

“OK, well you look after yourself, and thanks again for the food.”

Dobby’s eyes opened wide and at once both house-elves bowed to Harry and as quickly as they came, they disappeared.

“Can’t believe all this great food, look Harry, we even have blueberry muffins.” said Ron in excitement.

“I don’t know how you can eat at a time like this Ron.” said Harry, looking incredulously at his red –haired friend.

“Got to keep our strength up, we are gonna need it mate.”

“Ron is right, you need to get your strength up, you have to go to Karis soon, please eat something.” said Hermione

“Now whose fussing Hermione?” said Ron. “Really, you sound like my Mother!”

“Oh shut up Ronald Weasley.” said Hermione

“No, you shut up, why don’t you fill that mouth of yours with some food and then that way I can have a couple minutes of peace.”

Harry couldn’t help but let out a laugh at Ron’s comment to Hermione. “You two really have to stop fighting with each-other, looks so obvious to me that you may actually like one another……. Really like one another!” said Harry mocking them both.

“Don’t be stupid, Harry!” stuttered Ron, ears burning a bright fuchsia.

Hermione’s cheeks also seemed to be glowing a pale shade of pink.

“Yeah, whatever.” replied Harry, and slowly he starting walking towards the door to leave the Great Hall. “Don’t wait up; this is going to be a long night!”

“Let us know what happens.” shouted Hermione as Harry was exiting the room.

Part 2

Harry was concentrating on his breathing first, his heart was pounding inside his chest and he felt light-headed “Get a grip you moron” he whispered under his breath. The truth was he felt nervous, nothing like he felt when he was to have occlumency lessons with Snape, this was worse, he had to open his mind and try to block Karis Dumbledore, he started to feel sick at the thought of himself screwing it up, because for the first time, he actually cared about what she would think of him.

'Hope she isn’t too disappointed', he thought.

He finally reached the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom and stood looking at the door for a few seconds, still breathing heavily he regained his composure and knocked with a clenched nervous fist.

“Come in Harry.” Karis replied through the door.

Slowly he entered the classroom. It looked different to last term; Karis had made her mark on it already. The walls had been painted a calming blue and hanging on the walls were ancient looking scrolls with old text.

“They are old spells.” she replied. “Ancient text that many witches and wizards used for protection around the sixteen hundreds, defence against the dark arts Harry is not just about warning off an enemy in a fight, it’s also about preventing it in the first place. Well, trying to anyway!” she explained with a hearted authority.

“I have never been told about those.” replied Harry.

“I know, they are not in the curriculum but I think they are useful to have around.”

“Well, I’d like to learn a few, I know the others would too, plus it would help with the DA meetings.”

“I don’t think that would be too difficult to administer, I will have a think about it.”

Harry nodded to show he understood.

“So Harry, how are you feeling?” enquired Karis

“I’m sorry about Alastor, he helped saved my life seven weeks ago, I can’t believe he’s, well you know…” Harry trailed off.

“I know, it is a great pity, but the Order will try everything they can to get him back, but you have to understand that your Occlumency is more important than ever now Harry, I fear what lengths Voldemort will go to, to make sure he gets what he wants, he has no compassion as you know.”

“Yeah, don’t I just!” replied Harry

“Now are you ready?” asked Karis

“No, I’m never ready for this, it hurts like hell!”

Karis smiled at his effort to make light of the situation. “Hold your wand up Harry and look at me.”

Harry stood directly in-front of Karis and lifted his head and looked her directly in the eye.

Karis gave him a warm smile and without hesitation lifted her wand and in her usual friendly manner she whispered “Legilimens.”

Part 3

Harry could feel her penetrating his mind, he couldn’t see her face, only her mesmerising large brown eyes, he could feel his head pounding through his ears.

He was with Ron and Hermione, they were in the Shrieking Shack, wormtail was crouching on the floor begging for his life.

“NO” shouted Harry, you can’t come in, you can’t”. He tried fighting her, she was so strong, he found it difficult, all he could see was her large burning penetrating eyes.

“CEDRIC” Harry shouted. “NO.” Cedric was lying still on the floor in the graveyard, laying there helpless, he could hear the shriek of Voldemort laughing, Cedric was dead.

Harry tried to concentrate, please NO, I can’t take it, PLEASE STOP.” He yelled at Karis.

Suddenly, she broke the tie. Harry was sweating, his head was pounding, he held it in his hands.

Karis looked at him with sorrow. “Harry, you have to concentrate. Where were you in that last memory?”

“In a graveyard, that was the night Voldemort came back.”

“I see.” replied Karis. “You have to concentrate Harry, I know this is hard but I insist we continue, now stand up and look at me.”

Harry was slightly astounded at her persistence, she was not relenting one little bit.

He got to his feet and looked at her, his head was swimming but he knew he had to try and fight her.

Once again – “Legilimens” was spoken feely in the room, and Harry was immediately thrown back into another memory he would rather forget.

It was dark; Neville was moaning in pain, he had broken his ankle. Ron was giggling continuously; Hermione was unconscious on the floor next to Ginny and Luna.

'No, brick wall, brick wall, just keep thinking, brick wall.' Harry was saying aloud in his intruded mind. Slowly a few bricks had fallen on the floor in the department of mysteries, Harry looked at them slightly confused – then more bricks started falling down. A wall was being built between himself and his memory, it was gaining, higher and higher, it was building.

Harry’s head was searing in pain, but he had to keep the wall going, he felt it, he was blocking her out.

The wall was built, in front of him, he couldn’t see her eyes anymore, he had finally done it!

Karis broke the connection. “WELL DONE HARRY.” She praised him with sheer delight.

“Now that was step one.”

Harry looked bewildered. “Uh, Step one?”

Yes Harry, that was the easy part, I only touched the surface, but you have to learn to block deeper than that – you showed me a memory that you would rather forget, but it wasn’t too hard to see it and you did take your time in building that wall, but the point is you did, and I am very proud of you. No normal sixteen year old would ever have been able to do that.”

Harry looked proud of himself. “That was easier than I thought it would be.” He said.

Karis raised her eyebrows at him in surprise. “Oh really, well I see Professor Snape has taught you well, so if that’s the case why don’t we go up a level?”

Harry felt disheartened, he thought he had succeeded enough for tonight.

“Stand up then Harry, lets see how you do with the advanced level. Prepare yourself; you may be in for a shock!”

Part 4

Harry gulped; he wished he kept his mouth shut!

He looked Karis in the eye, his heart started to melt at the sight of her, he was taken unawares, he had no idea what was going on, she never said anything and neither was she holding her wand yet she was there, in his mind, in full crystal clear vision.

He screamed, his head was searing in pain, he thought it may burst open at any minute, he was holding his head in his hands, he wanted to rip it off his shoulders, he couldn’t bear it, he could see her eyes, they looked as if they were on fire. Suddenly there was a voice. “Harry, concentrate, please try, it can only get easier from here.” It was Karis, she was talking to him, through his own mind, this wasn’t legilimens he thought, this is telepathy!

Harry felt the cold floor hit him hard, he was confused. He felt weak.

A triumphant scream bellowed out, echoing across the walls, Sirius was falling through the veil.

“SIRIUS!” Harry yelled, “SIRIUS.”

Lupin grabbed Harry, holding him tight around his chest.

“Get him, save him” panicked Harry. “We can still reach him”, Harry was struggling hard and viciously but Lupin would not let go.

“There’s nothing we can do Harry….nothing…He’s Gone.

“HE-IS-NOT-DEAD” cried Harry

Harry was running, running so hard he couldn’t breathe, “IM GOING TO KILL HER.”

Karis was overwhelmed with what she was witnessing, she had no idea Harry had seen this much, but still she persuaded, “Fight it Harry, Fight me, you have to fight me, TRY!”

Using all her power, she had to find the core and break it down, what is Harry’s weakest moment I have to build on, Karis thought to herself.

Harry’s head, it hurt so much, he was screaming for release, Harry felt the creature use him again… “If death is nothing, Dumbledore, Kill the boy”. Screeched Voldemort

“Let the pain stop, thought Harry, Let him kill us, end it, death is nothing compared to this, and I’ll see Sirius again.”

Karis stopped; she lost her balance slightly and had to steady herself. Harry was on his knees, he was white with pain, shaking and highly distraught.

“So that’s it Harry, you wanted to give up, you wanted your life to end.” said Karis, looking at him with tears welling up in her large brown eyes.

“YES, I WANTED IT TO END, Harry yelled. I WANTED TO BE DEAD SO I DON’T HAVE TO TAKE THIS HURT ANYMORE, I HATE IT.”

He finally did it, he admitted his weakest moment to the woman he respected and admired the most. He felt like a failure, he sobbed so hard, he couldn’t see anything; his glasses had steamed up making the room and everything around him a total blur.

Suddenly and without warning he felt a tingle; arms were being closed around him, he could smell the scent of jasmine, it was her perfume, and they were both on their knees in the now dark cold classroom.

She held him close into her; 'he is not a boy' she thought, this sixteen year old was a man, and he had endured more pain and loss than any young wizard she had ever known.

She held him for as long as she possibly could, trying to be brave and give him words of love and encouragement but she felt his pain because she saw it, in his eyes she lived it with him. Karis tightened her grip, and they sat there on the floor, cradling each other, while Harry sobbed quietly into her shoulders.