I'm just going to keep posting what I get done as I get done...

(Scene opens with Harry and Ron in the Boys' Dorm)
Harry!Lotus: La la la, I am the boy who lived. Let's go to the Common Room and see what is new in the world.

Ron!Jenn: *sigh* Alright, let's go. (They go down to the Common Room and see Hermione!Zy laying on a couch eating olives.)

Harry!Lotus and Ron!Jenn: Hey, Hermione!

Hermione!Zy: (Throws olive at Harry. It bounces off his/her head) You know what the biggest problem in today's world is?

Harry!Lotus: OUCH! (rubs head) No... but... I don't think you're in the script anymore.

Hermione!Zy: The biggest problem in today's world is that there aren't enough stuffed olives. Olives should be stuffed! Stuffed! Unstuffed olives lead to dissatisfaction, which leads to turmoil, which leads to conflict. Unstuffed olives cause wars. Stuffed olives are necessary for world peace!

Harry!Lotus: Um... the script? (looks at Ron)

Ron!Jenn: Actually, I was thinking from deviating from the script myself. I think Slashy would hurt me seriously if I started mooning over Hermione which the script is calling for.

Harry!Lotus: Could we please move on so that I can stop being male and get some cookies?
Cass: You all do realize how severely you think at this? I might need to recast...

Harry!Lotus: Cookies?

Cass: The only cookies you all have earned so far have raisins in them. Keep moving!

Hermione!Zy: Oh... fine. (falsely bright) Hey, did you notice that strange notice on the noticeboard? Who wrote this?!

Ron!Jenn: (reading) In compliance with a bet, the Hogwarts staff will be playing the students in a game of Quidditch. The bet details state that if the staff wins, the pumpkin juice will no longer be dumped on people's heads. If the students or anyone pretending to be a student win, the strike will end and juice will still be quite dumpable.

Hermione!Zy: PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER! I have a problem!

Cass: If it has to do with olives, I am so NOT the person to talk to.

Hermione!Zy: No. We are the students, so we are the ones playing in the Quidditch match. But we aren't REALLY students and we don't REALLY have any idea how to fly on a broom or not die from Bludgers or catch a flippin' Snitch or any of that jazz.

Cass: Yes, I see your problem. I want you to win this bet. I'll take care of it.