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Here's my response to Kris's dare. I hope you like it Kris. I wrote it specially for you.
The Infamous Chocolate Cream Pie
It was a cold and windy night when Mundungus Fletcher wandered into the Leaky Cauldron. He was cold and hungry and as usual short of funds. Mundungus only had enough money for a room, dinner, and breakfast the next morning. After a hearty supper, Fletcher wanders into the Cauldron's pub. The bartender, Euan MacNally, is an old friend of Mundungeus and agrees to give him one fire whiskey on the house. After that he is on his own. Fletcher has a reputation as a rogue and generally has no trouble in flim flamming drinks out of unsuspecting wizards. Tonight the Leaky Cauldron is virtually deserted. There is only a wizard sitting at a table wearing a kilt, and another one over in the corner also sitting alone. Euan knows this patron well and bets Fletcher a bottle of fire whiskey he won't be able to con a drink out of him. Always game for a challenge, Mundungus accepts the bet.
The wizard calls out to Euan to bring him another butter beer. Mundungus grabs the bottle and walks over to the wizard's table. "Mind if I join you?" Fletcher asks as he sits down. "Suit yourself," the wizard says as he snatches his butter beer out of Mundungus hot little hands. "Names Mundungus Fletcher, seller of baubles and story teller extraodinaire." "Angus McAiken," the wizard says. "so you tell stories do you? Well, I haven't heard a descent story in ages. Seeing as there's no other entertainment around here tonight, why don't you wow me with one of your tall tales." Mundungus lets out a fake cough and explains he'd love to regail him with a story, but his throat is rather dry at the moment. Angus laughs and orders a bottle of fire whiskey and two glasses. Mundungus grabs the bottle and pours himself a drink. He downs it in one gulp and proceeds to pour himself another one. Angus places his hand over Fletcher's glass. "Your throat should be suffficiently moist now. I'm waiting for my story." Mundungus sits for a moment squirming in his seat. "This is a secret story I've heard from members of the Order of the Phoenix. I must swear you to secrecy before I begin. Angus nods in agreement and pours himself another drink.
"It was a dark and rainy night like tonight shortly after the murder of Albus Dumbledore. Severus Snape was a wanted man. The Ministry of Magic had put a bounty of 10 thousand galleons on his head and Minerva McGonagal had matched it. Seems she had been rather fond of Hogwart's head master. Snape was hiding out at his secret home at Spinner's End. The Dark Lord had made it Snape's personal responsibility to take care of his most prized deatheater, Draco Malfoy. Draco was a spoiled baby who is used to getting his way all the time. He had been pampered by his parent's house elves and wasn't used to living life on the run. In other words, Draco was driving Snape crazy. Severus was sitting at his breakfast table enjoying a glass of red wine. He was listening to the rain hit the window. Snape's peaceful silence was broken by yelling from the living room. Draco was lying on the couch feasting on bananas and fire whiskey. He throws the latest empty peel on the floor and grabs the last one off the table. "I'm still hungry. What else have you got to eat in this shack?" Draco yells. "The cupboards are bare," Snape yells back. "You have managed to eat all the food your mother brought us. With every Ministry auror hot on our trail, I can hardly run down to Diagon Alley and buy more." Draco throws the last peel on the floor and orders Snape to owl his mother. Tell her they have to have more food right away and that he also wants a chocolate cream pie, a homemade chocolate cream pie. Snape pulls out his wand itching to use the cruciatus curse on the boy. Then Snape remembers he had promised the Umbreakable Vow to Narcissa. Snape thrust his wand back into his pobket. "Do you have anything else you would like to tell your mother," he clinches his teeth as he asks. "Naw, I think that about covers everything. Tell her to hurry and to also bring my collection Wizard Playboy magazines. Your reading material really stinks," Draco replies. Snape bows and says as you wish. He goes into the kitchen and sits at the table. He waves his wand and parchment, quill, and ink fly off the countertop and into his hands. Snape writes Narcissa asking her to bring what Draco wants. As much as he wants to, Snape does not tell her what he thinks of her overly spoiled son. Severus wonders what he did to deserve this kind of punishment. |