Number 2 (Cyrene's dare):

Madam Pomfrey was an amazing woman. She could heal any wound, regrow bones, and keep even the Weasely twins from destroying the hospital wing. But sometimes even she neede a break. On this particular occasion, Madam Pomfrey became completely overwhelmed by the number of students with cursed body parts, Quidditch injuries, and students who had developed an "irrational" fear of chickens. Dumbledore kindly sent her on vacation to a deserted island that was free of chickens and children. It had a large number of coconuts, however.

Once Poppy left, in fact as soon as the fire settled in the Floor, Millicen Bulstrode hexed Hermione, causing her to say everything that ran through her over-active little brain.

"Ugly bobotuber faced girl! What'd she hit me with? I feel alright. Why's everyone looking at me like that? Must be stunned by my good looks. I'm so glad I put on that dab of makeup today like Ginny suggested. Good thing I listen to her, even if she's no where near as smart as I am. They're still staring at me. Maybe Peeves did something strange to my hair. I don't know why everyone is so down on Peeves. Wow, Peeves rocks my socks!" After managing to offend everyone within a 10-foot radius, Dumbledore managed to gag her. He shipped her off to St. Mungo's.

At the first chance, several of the professors and students visited Hermione. She was rooming in a large ward full of the victims of misfired spells. Harry regretted their visit almost as soon as he entered.

Not only was a strange girl following him around and trying to steal his glasses, but Hermione shouted, "Oy, Harry has one nasty looking pimple. He should really get it checked out while he is here." He clapped his hand onto his nose and blushed. It's only fair to tell you that his pimple was almost invisible but Hermione is a bit of a worrier. She thinks everything from split ends to dry skin needs medical help.

Meanwhile, Hermione lost interest in Harry and looked about the room. "I really should buy Ginny some new robes. Those are shabby. Snape is looking particularly greasy today - I wonder how he still manages to be so dead sexy. Look at how many people came to see me! Maybe they missed me and will let me leave this place soon. I haven't got a single decent thing to read. Oh, there's Ron. I think I..." But Harry gagged her with his free hand. Ginny and Snape looked fairly red in the face, and Ron looked on curiously.

Dumbledore'e eyes twinkled and he jumped onto an empty bed. "And now for a blatent diversionary tactic. Macarenaius!" The music from the Macarena filled the ward and he began to dance. Despite his age, the man had some serious moves. Everyone cheered and danced along. *Pause for cheesy, bonding moment*