all right, here goes with Quantamus's dare...

Sweet Dreams are made of this…
Also known as my ode to X men.

Harry crept up silently toward the whispered voices coming from the broom cupboard. It was dark, the only light in the corridor coming from the slightly ajar door. Harry wondered who could be up this late, and why they were talking in a broom cupboard of all places. Harry could hear two voices, a man and a woman. He strained to pick up the words.

“Why did you ask me to meet you here, Argus? Are there students out of bed? This is highly unprofessional”
SNORT!
“Sorry ‘bout that, it’s my allergies”

“Do not worry Minerva my sweet, I eat grass, no one else knows about this place, for it is called the Broom Cupboard of Eternal Love, made especially for people wanting to declare their undying love for other people. It is only accessible at certain times of the night, and when the school thestrals are groomed by an army of imps.”

“I don’t understand Argus, what are you trying to say?”
SNORT!

“I eat grass. Oh and I love you with the fire of a thousand suns”

“Argus, I’m flattered.”
SNORT
“But you know I’m involved with Dumbledore, I couldn’t possibly balance three boyfriends”

“Three?!? Who else are you seeing? I know about Dumbledore, I eat grass, but who else takes a share of your heart?

“Who else? Snape of course!”
SNORT
“He’s my toy boy, Dumbledore’s my sugar daddy, and you can be my bit of rough”

“Oh Minerva, I eat grass, I eat grass! I’m sooooo happy! Come here…”

Harry then heard the noises associated with two people kissing. He decided he’d had too much information, and the mental images were creeping him out. He re-arranged his invisibility cloak and set off away from the broom cupboard, towards the dorm. He was tired and grumpy, because Ron and Hermione didn’t want to come on his night-time stroll to the quidditch pitch because they were too busy playing strip wizards chess.

Then all of a sudden Harry was being chased by Lord Voldemort down a dark, tree lined corridor. Harry screamed and ran, twisting from side to side to avoid the spells fired at him by Voldemort. BAMF! Voldemort teleported to stand directly in front of harry. Harry stopped dead in his tracks and started to back away. Dark evil red glowing faeries were flying in front of Harry’s face, blinding him. He spun around and was about to fall into a massive hole in the floor when BAMF! A blue skinned creature with cloven hoofs and a tail grabbed him and teleported them both to the Gryffindor Common Room.

“Thanks” said Harry “ But, who are you?”

“I am Kurt Wagner, also known as Nightcrawler” I was sent here to save you from Voldemort, who is also known as Magneto, because he stole my BAMF technique. And he wanted to capture you and use you in a machine called Cerebro to kill all the humans in the world, but mostly because he stole my BAMF sound effect”

“Hmmm” Harry thought. “ that sounds a lot like an X men movie. I must be dreaming…”

Harry woke with a start to find himself safe in his bunk in the dorm. Suddenly his bed curtains were pulled aside and he saw Ron’s ginger head poke inside.

“Hey there, love muffin” said Ron.

Harry punched himself in the head to make sure he wasn’t still dreaming, then swung again to hit Ron. Ron quickly removed his head from Harry’s bed curtains, just in time to avoid Harry’s swinging fist. He looked out to see Ron approach Neville’s bed. Ron leaned right over Neville and said

“Hey there, Love Muffin”

Neville screamed, jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs in his underwear. He sprinted through the common room, pushed aside a pair of first year girls, who giggled madly when they realized he was only wearing his love heart boxers. Neville was still screaming, sprinting as though he was being chased by a herd of whip-toting orcs. He ran around Hogwarts 14 and a half times, until he was stopped by Professor McGonagall.

“Neville, calm down.”
SNORT
“Tell me what happened”

“Well professor, I was dreaming that I was making out with Hermione, then when I woke up, Ron was leaning over me and he said “Hey there Love Muffin”. I was sooooooo petrified that he knew that I was dreaming about his girlfriend, that I started screaming, and I couldn’t stop”

“It’s ok Neville.”
SNORT.
”I Know for a fact that Ron was under a spell, inflicted on him by Mr Finnegan and Mr Thomas. They will be punished accordingly, and I don’t think Ron knows about your dream, I certainly won’t be telling him. Now,”
SNORT
“Go put some clothes on before you catch a cold”
SNORT

Tell me what ya think