In honor of the house elf who DIED (I did not kill him)...

Ron arrived just in time for Transfiguration, throwing his books to the desk and slumping into his chair. "So, the house elves are revolting."

"Ronald Arthur Weasley! How dare you? Just because they aren't attractive in the normal ways, you judge them so harshly. I'm sure they think you are no great prize either, no matter how good looking you might be."

"Geesh, Hermione, tell us how you really feel," Harry laughed.

"Erm..." Ron's face was red, either from embarrassment or because he thought Hermione may have just suggested he was good looking. "I mean that the house elves are in revolt. They refuse to do any work or make any food until their demands are met."

"What are their demands?" Hermione said excitedly. "Vacation, pay, a 401k plan?"

"Apparently, someone has been leaving out clothing in an attempt to trick them into freedom..." Ron began when he and the other two noticed that the entire class and McGonagall were watching their conversation with interest. "Good morning, professor."

***
The house elves were not completely idle. In the rooms off the kitchen that they lived and slept in, the elves made signs that said, "We is not needing clothes" and "House elves is deserving respect."

Winky had a great dab of red paint on her round tomato nose that made it even more closely resemble a tomato. "After we make the signs, we is needing to get upstairs to walk in the Great Hall."

Dobby, wearing a stack of hats and a pink tutu, stared at her in disbelief. Who would have expected this little house elf, once so drunk and desolate, to become so excited and hard-working?

"Winky, I is thinking I love you."

***
The professors tried to take the strike seriously, but the sight of all those little elves hoisting signs that were twice as tall as they were was too much for them. The entire meeting about the "situation" was interrupted by titters and huge smiles.

"Well, ahem," Dumbledore had his trademark gleam in his eye. "I suspect we need to bring in an expert to take care of the castle and the students until everything is smoothed over."

Umbridge popped out of a closet. "You are in luck! The ministry has sent me to..." Four teachers immediately cursed her, causing Umbridge to turn into a large, extremely ugly frog who was sent back to the ministry in a box with large holes poked into it.

"What was she doing in the broom closet?"

"Looking for a broom, perhaps," Dumbledore said, reminiscing about the author's very first dare ff.

"Any other ideas?" Dumbledore asked. "No? Good... I propose we send out for the foremost expert on such things. Unfortunately, she IS a muggle."