The rest of this dare...

The boys turned around with relief once the professors were past. Two things happened simultaneously. One, they all remembered they were mad at each other and stopped looking so chummy and relieved, and two, they realized they were hiding in a girls' bathroom.

Sirius, being who he was, decided that this was the perfect opportunity to explore what he had always considered to be the inner sanctum of the mystery that was woman. He went to play with the taps, expecting the water to be either scented or chocolate flavored. Mmmm... chocolate.

Remus and Peter were frantic. What if they got caught? Not only out and about after hours but also in a girls' bathroom. This would be detentions for weeks! James merely pulled up a square of tile and began to study for potions. They all looked up at a startled yell from Sirius. Floating above the taps was the ghost of a young girl... Moaning Myrtle. Honestly, if you didn't know that, open a book!

"What are you doing in here? You're boys..." the girl started, but became startled herself when a chicken suddenly ran out of one stall and into another. "Did you bring that chicken in here to torment me?" She burst into noisy tears and disappeared into a toilet.

"I think I just figured something out," said James looking as if he had just figured something out. "All girls are batty. Even the dead ones."

"I heard that," came a wet splashy response. The author also kicked him with her pointy shoes.

The chicken reappeared, pecking around the base of one of the sinks. Now, somehow, strangely, and unbelievably, this was a specially trained warrior chicken from the author's own squad of Snitchseeker chickens (yes, I KNOW that that was the last story... shush). This was the linguistics chicken who happened to be specially trained in Parseltongue. The chicken bawked a few words, and the giant hole opened up.

The author is tired of typing chicken and is going to name it Binky. Binky turned around and looked at the Marauders before jumping down the hole. Believing it to be the newest and most obscure of all secret passages to Hogsmeade, the boys foolishly followed.

At the bottom, the boys were startled by the bones and giant skin.

"What do you think made that?" asked Remus. Sirius had his eyes covered and kept muttering, "If I can't see it, it doesn't exist..."

Suddenly, the room widened and the boys entered just in time to see a giant snake slither down.

"That blasted bird called that big snakey thing," Sirius shouted.

The author yelled, "His name is Binky," just as Remus said, "That's a basilisk. Crack a book occasionally."

Realizing that Binky and the boys (ooo... sounds like a really bad band name!) were in danger, the author grabbed the basilisk by the tail to hold it up. The Marauders quickly turned around and tried to run away. Sirius, trying to be clever, picked up Binky and threw it at the basilisk, who promptly ate it.

"NO!" the author screamed. "He had a name! You can't eat things that have a name! My warrior linguistics chicken!"

The Marauders, ignoring the cries, kept running until they arrived back in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. The author can't explain to you how they got up that long slide-y thing, because she was crying over her lost chicken. However, once in the bathroom, they all looked at each other, wide-eyed and panting.

"Let's never speak of this day again."