I'm proud of... me! For finally being able to do it all in one!

"I think," said Pansy Parkinson, her little pug face creased in thought, "that we should just put it to a vote."

"A what?" came the cry from several Slytherins crowded into the Common Room.

"A vote. It's like this thing where everyone says what they want and the group that is bigger gets their way..." Pansy tried to explain. "I learned about it on Snitchseeker..." she trailed off, because that was her big secret.

"We don't all get our way..." whined some random Slyth girl. Draco rolled his eyes from his position of prominence on the couch. And they thought that Hufflepuff had all the duffers.

"What are we voting for?" an unidentified voice was heard because the author needed to introduce the plot already!

Pansy sighed, it wasn't like this when they voted on good old Snitchseeker... she was really good at sighing, being the resident drama queen. "We're voting on whether we should kick Draco out of the house because... (insert pause because the author is still working on a plausible reason. Afterall, what's a Snitchseeker dare without plausibility?) he's been seen fraternizing with Gryffindors."

Draco exploded, "What the (the author censors him because of Snitchseeker rules and because Lotus and Zymurgy would kick her with her own pointy shoes). It isn't my fault that I was assigned a Gryff as my partner for Potions!"

"Was that a term of endearment?" Blaise Zabini, who is either a male or a female but definitely one of these two choices, said. "Gryff? Awfully friendly."

"I would rather be kicked out of this pathetic house than be forced to spend another MOMENT with quacks like you!"

"So... no vote then?" Pansy pouted, and Crabbe and Goyle were forced to toss their former leader out the door. They changed the password so he couldn't get back in... it was now Snitchseeker because the author needed to use it one more time.

***
During dinner later that same day, the Great Hall fell silent as they spotted Draco Malfoy trying to find a seat at the Ravenclaw table. After several cold stares from each table, Draco grabbed a plate and settled on the floor. He was beginning to regret his rashness and planning what he could do to earn his way back into his house. Well... they thought he was friends with the Gryffindors? He could just go to great lengths to prove that wrong.

"Longbottom!" Malfoy's voice was as warm as he could make it... just above the temperature of ice cream. Mmm... ice cream. "Hey, partner, when do you want to meet for our potions project?" Malfoy attempted something like a smile, but it really just looked like someone was pinching him.

Neville stuttered his way through an answer. When they met in the library later that evening, Draco tried his hardest to earn Neville's trust, but Neville had 6 years too many with the EVILNESS that was the true Draco Malfoy.

"Um... Draco... have you eaten any strange candy lately? Perhaps a lollipop?" Neville recalled the author's last fic on Snitchseeker (author's multiple personalities point out that she didn't need to mention Snitchseeker anymore and now is just showing off) which involved the Luvipops.

"Yeah, got one last time the Weasely twins visited. Why do you ask?" Neville ran screaming from the room. He sounded remarkably like a woman. Realizing he'd failed to gain Neville's trust to later exploit, Malfoy decided on a better plan... torment the Weasely family - quintessential Gryffs.

The next day, the school was suddenly overrun with red-furred weasels that flashed golden "Weasely" letters and had miniature shabby robes on. There were two results from this fic: one, Draco was let back into Slytherin... which he really regretted about five minutes into. Two, Neville decided that the best place to be until the lollipop wore off would be a tropical island. Thus, he signed up for Survivor and won a million dollars. That kid is a lot more devious than you would think.