Not Meant To Be
What’s going on?
What’s happening to me?
I haven’t been able this inspired to write since Charlie.
It scares me to think that you’ll be just like Him.
It makes me cry tears to think I’ll die alone.
Ever since I thought about that age, I’ve been holding back tears.
Friends or husband, will I have either?
I think I will not and
It will be my sorrow that drowns me in the end.
You’ll have someone there beside you.
Your God will bless you both and
Take you together to live in his kingdom.
I’ll watch you from h_ll, wishing I was her.
I’ll think back to what I did wrong and
How our lives could have been so different.
Maybe if I become someone I’m not, you might love me
But even then, you would have the heart to deny me
And watch my black heart crumble and freeze.
Sometimes I wonder if we really are so different.
You play your mind games just as I do.
But you know when to be you and when to be a mask.
I’m still learning; my mistakes being my tutor.
Lord only knows if I’ll ever learn the lesson I desire.
Fates place bets and hope for my failure.
It’s our difference that keeps us apart, and of course, my arrogance.
I was so determine to protect you,
I never bothered thinking of the consequences of my actions.
A bad habit of mine; I’ve apologized many times.
I wonder … do you trust me?
Would you give me a secret to hold and lock away?
Or have I not earned that right?
I can wish, hope, dream and even change myself for you,
But the Gods have something else planned for us.
You can’t say I didn’t try.
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