And so it begins...

There was a shop in Diagon Alley, squeezed between a second-hand robes shop and Ollivander's. It was an obscure sort of shop, nothing of great interest in the windows and a small sign with three faded red W's swinging above the door. It somehow managed to do a brisk trade, bringing people of all ages but especially children through the dark wooden door.

Now, though, the shop was closed, a sign blinking in the window saying, "Will return in 10 minutes, 16 seconds," and counting down. Inside the store, two young men with brilliantly colored red hair ate tuna sandwiches and brainstormed about possible jokes to add to their stock.

"You know what I think," Fred said with a mouth full of tuna.

"I think..." George interrupted. "You need to chew first; talk later."

Fred swallowed and continued, although he glared at his twin. "Anyway, I was thinking that we have some products that we can start adding to the store, but first, we really need to find a way to test them."

George rolled his eyes. "You want to test things on paying customers?"

"No way!" Fred exclaimed. "I just think now is the perfect time to pay a visit to our alma mater."

George nodded slowly. "Good idea. Only... I think it's only an alma mater if you actually graduate."
***
The twins arrived on a Friday afternoon, just after classes. Of course, the Gryffindors threw them a party, although their siblings and Hermione regarded them with some suspicion. "You just decided to visit?" Ginny asked and rolled her eyes.

It was during the party that they tested their first product. It was actually a two-pronged attack. First, Fred slipped out the portrait hole while George was shooting off some of their new and improved fireworks-for-small-spaces. No one even noticed his disappearance and reappearance. Then, Fred led everyone in a rousing rendition of Weasley is Our King, introducing his new and improved verses that cannot be repeated here. George produced a dish of lollipops and set them near the punch. They gave each other an imperceptible nod.

The next day, the students awoke as usual and made their way down to the Great Hall for a late breakfast. Although it took the sleepy children a while to notice, they were surprised to see that there were no teachers sitting at the head table. Never, in all their time at Hogwarts, had there been a time when they were without some sort of supervision.

"Do you think it's a trick?" Harry whispered, his eyes darting suspiciously around the Great Hall.

"Yeah, Harry," Ginny said sarcastically. "I'm so sure that all the professors are stuffed in a broom closet somewhere, just waiting for you to break a rule. Sounds normal and rational to me..."

Hermione began to use her depressingly and tediously logical mind. "Look, why don't we just go look for the professors? Ron, go find Snape. Ginny, find Flitwick. Harry, find Trelawney. And I'll find McGonagal."

They all agreed, but as soon as Hermione disappeared out the door, the boys decided they wanted to have nothing to do with Snape or McGonagall and went to find Dumbledore and Hagrid instead.

Ron raced outside and over to Hagrid's cabin, pounding on the cabin door as he caught his breath. When there was no answer, he went around to the back, looking to see if Hagrid was gardening. Instead, what he found was a blast-ended skrewt tied to the fence and trying to blast through the fence and cut his rope with his stinger at the same time.

Ron was bored with looking already, so he plopped himself down on the fence to watch the skrewt, which kept stabbing its own leg. He hoped it would poison itself and die and he would get to see it. While he waited, he pulled out a lollipop from the party the night before. What he didn't know was that these special candies were known as luvipops (love-e-pops) by their creators, Gred and Feorge.

"You know," Ron said although no one was there because the author wanted all the readers to know what was going on in his little red head. "I've never noticed how attractive skrewts are. They have this amazing beauty and grace. I... I just... I think I'm in love!" Watching the skrewt struggle to free itself, Ron was heartbroken at its plight. "My beloved shall NOT be tied to the fence! I'll save you!"

He jumped down and ran across the giant pumpkin patch to the fence where the skrewt was tied. Just as he was reaching the skrewt, some unseen force grabbed Ron by his robe and picked him up. He was hanging midair, and nothing seemed to have a hold of him. It was quite amusing if you were there... but you aren't... so just read on.

While some unseen thingymabobber held onto Ron's robes as he tried unsuccessfully to save his beloved, Harry was running through the castle halls toward Dumbledore's office. He kept hoping he'd run into a professor who would tell him exactly what was going on, but the only people he passed were students. Granted, all the Gryffindors he passed were acting very strangely. Colin and Dennis Creevey were fighting over a picture of their mother and arguing about who loved her the best. Seamus was stalking Lavender, who carried a Teen Witch magazine she kept caressing lovingly. Neville was found waving his wand at Trevor trying to turn him into "the girl I know you can be." Trevor was only pink and purple and singing the theme song to Sailor Moon... but he was not a girl. At the door to Dumbledore's office, Harry raced through all the types of magical candy he could think of. Then he moved on to Muggle candy, although he didn't have nearly as much experience with those.

Finally, the password was Goobers. Apparently, Dumbledore had developed a strong liking for peanuts. However, when Harry reached his office, there was no one there except Fawkes.

"Ergh," Harry shouted. "This is ridiculous! Where are all the professors!?" He addressed the flaming bird. "Fawkes, I can't find the professors."

Suddenly, Harry heard a throat clearing and turned to see Dumbledore standing there, his eyes twinkling as if he hadn't just been missing for half a day. He was also eating honey roasted peanuts straight from a can.

"It appears, Mr. Potter, that we have been the subjects of a prank. Something the teachers ate caused them to be invisible to the student body. I've also noticed that perhaps something the Gryffindors ate is causing them to be... attracted strangely. Would you happen to know where Mr. Fred and George Weasley are at this time?"

Far away, back in a little shop in Diagon Alley, two mischievious redheads were putting new stock on their shelves.