Confessions of a Loathsome Potions Master
*Or*, How to Get the Students to Hate You
*Or* Why Snape Is the Way He Is

Ah, yes, I know the students hate me—I strike fear into their very souls. Its something I’ve worked hard at.

You see, when I first started teaching at Hogwarts, the students thought I was laughable, and they did not respect me in the slightest. Well, that wasn’t good enough for the great Severus Snape! It was time to get mean.

How to Inspire Fear into Those Worthless Students:

10. Walk around looking constantly like an overgrown bat. Be sure your robes are fluttering about behind you.

9. Sneer when anyone speaks to you. Makes you hard to read.

8. Make ruthless comments that will shred students apart. Its best if you can leave them in tears. Good for self-esteem. Yours of course, not the students’….

7. Favor the Slytherins. Let the other students know that only evil will be tolerated. And only by Slytherins.

6. Threaten imbeciles with dire punishments for not brewing Potions correctly, when you know they won’t be able to do it in a million, trillion years.

5. Ignore know-it-alls and only ask questions of those students who have no idea of the answer.

4. Grade papers as harshly as possible, and be sure to put mean and sarcastic comments about the students’ writing in large handwriting with a dark, red pen.

3. Hand the papers back face up, so the Slytherins can see the terrible grades of other students.

2. Wear black. Always. Its slimming, too, you know.

1. Let the students think you detest your job by applying for the DADA position every year.

A/N: Well, I’m not a very funny person…. but I tried. Hope you enjoyed.
Oh, and I couldn't quite decide on a title, so I just put them all up there lol