Shannon cannot be here right now due to complicated circumstances in her health. But I came across her journal, and her poems. I remember her mentioning that she writes poems here too...I found this one as a last entry before she collapsed. She wrote it yesterday. And I'm writing it on her (I'm her sister) behalf. She doesn't know I'm doing this, but if the worst should happen, I want you all to know what kind of person she was.

Note: We're not Jewish, but she did use a common Jewish phrase as the title of the poem. I'm sure she didn't mean to offend anyone...

L'chai-im!

I want to know it's not over
I want to know you're here
I don't want to go
I know I'm too young
I don't want to live the rest in fear

I want to know I'm loved
I want to know someone's there
It's hard and empty and cold and dark
When you are afraid that no one could care

Born on a day in February,
Grown to be sweet sixteen
I have made memories of lifetime
I want to keep them forever
But I know what an upcoming event may mean

I want to live to graduate
I want to marry too
I want to grow old to be ninety with him
And have kids and grandkids, if only
God will let me live that long with you

I'm not exceptionally pretty
I'm not thin, I'm not fat, I'm just me
I wanted to make a difference
I wanted something more than a dream

As I welcome change and possibility
I wonder how much have I been
Have I lived life to the fullest?
Have I appreciated mine?
Maybe: with paper, thought and my pen

Through my song, through my poem and stories
I create a world in my head
So I'll dream of that world
When they put me to sleep
On that lonely operating bed

I'm scared, I admit it
I know I can fight
I've got an Irish and American heart
I'm too young to see that light

I'm not afraid to die
I'm afraid that I let life be sieved
My worst fear is that I didn't fulfill my dream:
I want to go onto an eternal stream
Knowing that I loved
Knowing that I lived

So raise your glass to the world beyond
I'll rest in His arms with my fife
All I can say is L'chaim-im
To life