A bunch of random musings...most of them poems that were never finished, either because they lost their original direction or I lost their feeling...

#1
Trying not to fit in
stryggling to stand out
but not wanting to be alone
caught up in the disillusion
that loneliness is a chosen state
of the mind I lost way back
when pink was cool and I hated black
father time: can I have those days back?
Or were they never lost? I'm nauseous
it seems, as I go on
and see my dreams
that they have not
but still I wonder
where they might be hiding

My inclination
to indecision
dare to be bold
until you've
banged your head in
trying to be heard
sick of no action
and too mad reaction
[/end spark]

#2
People like me don't have a place
don't have a time
don't have a face
but we all know who we are
and where we're going
and in who's place
there's just one thing that makes me sick
it's the one thing that I'm never allowing
[and shall never be revealed..hmph...]

#3
Did you hear me crying just now
or has my voice betrayed me?
A hot façade of rebellious angst
but inside the tears roll down to my heard
drowning what's left of the motivation
that was never there in the first place

If you payed attention
just paused for a moment
and took a breath
you would see, my own breath
came in weak sobs
[/end sadness]

#4(this one's almost a poem)
My inspiration
lies to me
in its best
poetic deception
blinded me
from all I see
I've lost my
good perception
I've been lead in
the wrong direcion
And I don't know where I'm going
so I've no idea which way to turn
I just know that
I'm nowhere near
where I started from
[which is?...]

#5
Hearts drawn in the margins
filling up the wasted page
upon which I state my marvels
at the humble and the brave
knowing of no unseed motive
scratching words out on the page
words that somehow turn to poems
as I let my mind unfurl

Ridiculously hypocratic
rituals of self-indulgence
linger in my moronic behaviour
dripping with psychotic blood
[/I might actually finish this yet...[/u]


And yeah, that's it...#s 4 and 5 were written yesterday....I was really bored in chemistry and french...(at least I didn't fall asleep in chemistry...). I have found a bunch of old musings from a couple years ago that I may put up here in a bit, but this should be enough for you people to chew on for now...