Free Associtation, Part II

~*~

(And so Neville joined the Gryffindor group, now of four.)

Ron: "What I didn't get is why Dumbledore needed to escort Flitwick and McGonagall on their honey moon!"

Harry: "Must be bored, the tired old man..."

(And then they meet someone.)

Ginny (who magically reappeared, again, to be the voice of sanity while Hermione is gone to chant "Zymurgy is our queen" once more): *frowns* "You?!"

(Meanwhile, at some place in the country.)

Flitwick: *drunk* "I'll have a glass of milk. On the rocks."

(Back to the normality of the castle.)

Draco: "I shan't let you pass until I have the red wishes shoes! I must have them, for only then I will be all powerful an grand. Mwahaha!"

Crabbe & Goyle: *puts intimidating faces*

Ron: "What are we talking about again?"

Goyle: *defies all laws of fanfiction and look smart* "Draco watched a Wizard of Oz special on TV. He hasn't been the same ever since."

Harry: "You can't have my shoes!"

(All look at Harry.)

Harry: "Well, yes, laugh, but they are still my shinny red shoes! MINE! MY OWN!"

Draco: *looking at Harry's helmet* “Ah, I see the Tin Man! Why are you carrying Dorothy's shoes? Ah, no matter, I know your weakness for you have no heart! I shall take advantage of that- mwahah! Would you now fancy a golden heart?”

Hermione: "Ah, please, Harry is no Tin Man and he's not interested --"

Harry: "Shush, Hermione - Tell me more about this gold heart, Witch Draco of the East. Brilliants are a girl's best friends, and I'm a pretty, pretty girl!"

Draco: "Wicked Witch of the West to you, Tin Man!" *points accusing finger*

Harry: ". . . OK, you bored me already."

(Draco is shoved into a dust bin, while Crabbe and Goyle were in the middle of a musical of "Somewhere over the rainbow".)

Draco: "No! Wait!" - *Draco of the Dust Bin said* - "You need to defeat the dragon I set for you, only then your friend Dorothy can go home!"

Steve Kloves: “That will be definitely censored from your fanficmovie.”

Harry: "Dragon?"

Ron: "Dragon?!"

Hermione: "Zymurgy is our Queen!"

(And then a big, ugly, fire breathing dragon, of the species of Hungarian Horntail, only because I'm unoriginal, appeared before them and said...)

Dragon: "What's the meaning of life. Answer now or I shall eat you!"

Ron: "C'mon, Hermione! Say something really REALLY intelligent!"

Hermione: "Zymurgy is our Queen"

General state --> -__-

Ginny: "I think it has turned into a nervous tic." *pokes Hermione*

(Dragon swallows Hermione.)

Harry: "Ahhh, you are not serious! Oh no. Nononononono, I won't go on. I can't. I'm exhausted. Period. Now..." *takes shirt off...* (Ginny: "Yes! The end, now all rejoice and take your shirt off!" ) *& tries to boost his energy with batteries*

Ron: "You evil dragon! I loved that woman!!"

Dragon: *grunts*

Harry: "You tell me. I happened to step on those two. Traumatic experience. It's like seeing your mother and... and a circus monkey. AHHHH --" *gets electrocuted* "My nipples! My beautiful, tiny little nipples -- Aaahhhhhhh!!!"

Dragon: *nods* "Indeed." *pets Harry*

Ron: "And I know your deal, dragon! I know you are here to custody our underpants, which means---”

General state: "Panic! We are left with no clean underwear’s!"

Harry: "My NIPPLESSSSSSS!!!!"

Ron: *looks at Harry* "They look like a woman - hey, see, Harry! You are now a pretty, pretty woman!"

Harry: "LOOK AWAY, RON, THIS IS NO FREE SHOW!"

Snape: *touches Harry's wriggly nipples* "Oooh, look at them move!"

Harry: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Ron: "Of course it is not a show. It is a study of consequential movement in the analysis of human physical structure." *pokes Harry's nipple as well*

Harry: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" *runs away scared*

Draco: "NOOooo!! Come back!! You haven't given me your red shinny shoes!!" *runs after him*

(In the background we faintly hear somebody call "I'm a pretty, pretty girl!")

(Meanwhile, in Flitwick and McGonagall's honey moon, they were having a great time. And Dumbledore wasn't allowed in the room. Duh. Pity for him. Flitwick by this time, be it the milk on the rocks or other unspeakable substance that poisoned his system, is now happily married to McGonagall, brewing all types of hybrids, including some sort of plant. Never again Filius Flitwick thought of leaving Minerva McGonagall. Not because he didn't want to (though he didn't) or that he was faithful (meow) but because he was a dwarf recently addicted to human food and Minerva a not that bad a cook as we originally thought.
On with the main story.)

"I'M NOT WEARING ANY UNDERWEARS ANYWAY!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!"

(Was Snape call as he run around the corridors of Hogwarts stark naked. Draco Malfoy tackled him to retrieve his remote, because Snape had swallowed it.)

Draco: "FINE! We will do this..." *putting a pair of gloves on* "the difficult way..."

(The Dragon was in the middle of eating Seamus who had responded to the question with 'licking' when...)

Seamus: *dodges*" Hey! I learned to do tumbleturns! Yayness!"

(And he landed on his second try on a bucket with paint for the new decorations, hence getting his hair dyed orange, to match his eyes. Yes, orange eyes.)

(*Sigh* and then...)

Neville: "Eureka!"

(Neville Longbottom had shouted after he made a discovery. He comes back holding his Carnivorous African Tundra Tree. Sets it to chase the Dragon. Eats the dragon. Everybody rejoice.)

Neville: "HA! And now you know WHY I carry a green stapler around in my pocket for protection."

(Another effective type of silence.)

(And then Harry pressed a button saying 'Hi, I'm Bob!' and everything exploded.)


~*~

*Scotch taped announcement sign message*

[ THE END ]

Me: "And, well, that's all. I hope you all had a fine day -"

Hermione: "Zymurgy is our Queen"

Me: "- and had fun -"

Hermione: "Zymurgy is our Queen"

Me: "- and thought I was a funny, funny person."

Hermione: "Zymurgy is our Queen"

Me: "And if not there's always the possibility of feeling frustrated over it -"

Hermione: "Zymurgy is our Queen"

Me: "You know, since you lost time..."

Hermione: "Zymurgy is our Queen"

ME: "But enough of that, I shall go. I'm not needed anymore."

Hermione: "Zymurgy is our Queen"

Me: "And now I leave you to hear Hermione inconsequentially saying "Zymurgy is our Queen" until reaching 45."

Hermione: "Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen, Zymurgy is our Queen."