Okay, everyone. Here's the rest of the dare. Enjoy.



Mr. Walton walked away and Mr. Sknuck grudgingly took his place. “Whenever you‘re ready, Mr. Weasley,” Sknuck said in the most bored voice he could muster. He hated being a secretary, much less to the founder of Walmart. He felt he had better things to do and turned his head to the side, when a beauty of a woman caught his eye. He definitely had better things to do, like asking that foxy chick out on a date and wooing her with flowers, candy and his debonair personality. His mind drifted away to the possibilities and would have been content there if Ron had not rudely interrupted his thoughts.

“Excuse me, Mr....Sknuck, is it?” Ron stated. “I‘m ready to redeem my ticket. I want to go to Hawaii and get away from this cold weather.” He thought of the white sandy beaches and green tropical rainforests he would soon be exploring. He smiled. “Maybe I’ll find some gorgeous Hawaiian ladies to go out with.“

Hermione gave Ron another dangerous look, but Ron didn’t notice. He was too busy figuring out what he was going to be doing on his vacation until suddenly; another much more painful thought struck him. He looked up at Sknuck. “Does my family have to come with me?”

Sknuck looked at Ron with a seething glare. “Of course, your family has to come with you. You’re underage.” Sknuck rolled his eyes. “I‘ll need to see your ticket to validate it.” He held his hand out.

Ron sighed as he handed his ticket to Sknuck. “Oh, well. Maybe next time ladies. By then I‘ll be a famous Auror and I can take my own vacations.” Hermione shot him another look that said ‘Don‘t even think about it, Ronald Bilius Weasley.’

Sknuck looked at the ticket and tisked slightly. He looked up at Ron with that bored face again. “Your ticket expired yesterday. I can‘t accept this. Better luck next time.” He handed the ticket back to Ron and turned around, ready to walk away.

Ron grabbed the ticket from Sknuck’s hand and read it again. Sure enough, the ticket had expired the day before. Ron was outraged. He stopped Sknuck and yelled, “Hey you stupid git, I just got this ticket not more than five minutes ago! Your boss handed it to me! I won your stupid lucky lottery contest! I want my vacation!”

Sknuck turned around to face Ron. His face was completely red. He looked like he was going to blow his top at any moment. “Mr. Weasel...I mean, Weasley, when you took the ticket from my boss‘ hand, you accepted it as-is. Walmart holds no responsibility for your negligence. Just be happy you got a free pair of dice in the bargain. Good-bye!” He turned around again and stormed down the aisle.

Ron looked at him with fury in his eyes. He chucked the ticket towards the direction of the fast-departing Sknuck. “Here!! You can have your stupid ticket back, you GIT!!! I don‘t need it anymore!!” He turned to Harry and Hermione. “I take what I said back again. Mr. Skunk...I mean, Sknuck, is the BIGGEST git around. Come on. Let‘s get back to Hogwarts. I don‘t want to stay in this stupid Walmart one second longer.”

“Wait,” Hermione interjected. “We still have to pay for our purchases.”

Ron looked at Hermione with the weirdest expression on his face. “Hermione, I‘m not buying anything from this store after what they just did to me, even if my face is on the product.”

Harry looked at Ron and interrupted before the millionth squabble between Ron and Hermione erupted. “Here, Ron. I‘ll pay for it seeing as how it was me who wanted to come down here in the first place. Let‘s just get out of here. I still have three rolls of parchment to write for Snape when we get back.”

Ron looked at Harry like he had just been insulted. “No thanks, Harry. Even though I‘m poor, I wouldn‘t want you to spend money on me. Remember what happened at the Quidditch World Cup with the Omnioculars. As if the leprechaun money wasn‘t embarrassing enough.”

“Ron, shut up and take it,” Hermione said. “Can‘t you see that Harry wants to get out of here as much as you do? Honestly, Ron, sometimes you can be so thick. Now, let‘s go. I still have to knit more hats and scarves for S.P.E.W. My supply is dangerously low.”

Harry and Hermione picked up the stuff that Ron had dropped when he got hexed and the trio headed off to the front checkout. Ron was trailing behind Harry and Hermione. He was quite embarrassed at Hermione telling him off and Harry paying for his stuff. Throw in the fact that a price scanner hexed him and he got gypped out of his getaway to paradise, and Ron wasn’t exactly having a great day. And if anything could have made it worse, it was seeing what he saw on the front page of the afternoon edition of the Daily Prophet as they were in line at the checkout.

“Look,” Ron said. He snatched a copy off of the newsstands and skimmed through it as Harry and Hermione crowded around him. “As if things weren‘t bad enough already. I think the wizarding world has officially gone crazy.” He gave the newspaper to Harry so they could see what happened. The front page ran as follows.


Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge resigns:
Fred and George Weasley are made new co-Ministers of Magic
By Ima Gonagetu
Special Correspondent for the Daily Prophet

In a stunning turn of events, Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge resigned from his post today, citing a need to take “a very long and solitary vacation.” However, the Daily Prophet has uncovered some exclusive information that may paint a more definitive picture as to why Fudge has decided to hastily leave the Ministry. It seems that our highest public servant has been gallivanting around with one, Mathilsa Grogenia, a well-known member of Educate the Muggles, a group that is fighting to allow non-magical Muggles into the wizarding culture. This view has been blasted from all fronts as a dangerous and foolhardy attempt to allow Muggles free reign to take over the wizarding world. His affiliation would also explain the ludicrous bill that was reviewed and later struck dead in the Wizengamot earlier this year that would have allowed this “act of treason” to take place. The author of this bill has remained anonymous, until now. Fudge has continuously voiced his disgust and opposition on this issue, as he has many other controversial issues, in an effort to appease the wizarding community. We now know this was not true.

In Fudge’s place, the Wizengamot has voted unanimously to appoint twins Fred and George Weasley as co-Ministers of Magic. The Weasley twins are most notable in fame for their creation of Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes, a hugely successful joke shop, located at number ninety-three Diagon Alley. Their shop contains a numerous selection of jokes invented by the twins themselves, including the ever-popular Skivving Snackboxes, Extendable Ears, and the Portable Swamp. Our attempts to reach any members of the Weasley family were not returned, save an over joyous Molly Weasley shooing reporters out of her living room with a feather duster and a sulking Percy Weasley turning one photographer into a toad.

As for the appointment of two ministers, a member of the Wizengamot had this to say. “We believe that thinking and leading with two heads is much better than just one. Plus, the advent of twins in the position allows the wizarding community to experience double the pleasure and double the fun. It‘s just a better deal all around.”

Harry looked up at Ron. “I don‘t think going home anytime soon would be advisable. Very interesting situation, though.” He skimmed the paper again. “And I don‘t think Percy is handling this very well.”

“Well, of course not,” Hermione added. “Percy‘s heart was all for getting that job in the future. With Fred and George there, he must be completely heartbroken. He probably thinks that Fred and George will ruin the entire government system and I wouldn’t be surprised if they did do something incredibly stupid. Really, there’s no telling what Fred and George can do.”

“Now, Hermione,” Ron interjected. “You‘re talking about my brothers, here. Besides, if they can successfully invent, manufacture, and sell joke shop items in their own joke shop, I think they‘re capable of running the Ministry. Heck, if that idiot Fudge could do it, a flobberworm could do it, too.”

“Excuse me, Ron,” Hermione argued. “It‘s not easy to run a portion of the government, let alone all of it. Running a joke shop is just not the same thing. Besides, they‘re too young to be that high up in the Ministry.”

“No, they‘re not,” Ron shot back.

“Yes, they are,” Hermione replied.

And back and forth it went. Harry decided to not interfere this time. He knew too well how arguments between his two best friends always turned out, and it was usually too much trouble to interfere. Instead, Harry placed the copy of the Daily Prophet on the conveyer belt along with the three PEZ dispensers and the refills. The cashier scanned them and asked him in a polite voice, “Cash, check, charge, galleons, sickles, or knuts?”

Harry kindly replied that he would pay in galleons. The cashier gave him his total as she bagged the stuff. Harry handed the lady a few galleons and grabbed the bag. When the cashier gave him his change, he walked to the exit of the store and saw Voldemort still there, greeting his customers and hating every minute of it. He was just about to walk out, when he suddenly got this great idea. He signaled to Hermione and Ron to hurry up and get over to him. He laid out his plan when they arrived. Ron was excited, while Hermione, strangely out of character, was equally, if not, more ecstatic than Ron was.


The trio hid themselves behind the long row of blue shopping carts that were stored in the front of the store. Harry moved his position a few times, until he had a good vantage point to where Voldemort was. He took a deep breath and dedicated this one to his parents. Harry raised his wand and let loose with the magic word. “Imperio!”

A jet of sparkling red light flew out from Harry’s wand and struck Voldemort on his side. Instant contentedness settled on Voldemort’s face as he was mentally overcome with the fogginess that happens when one is under the Imperius Curse. Harry was now in total control of Voldemort’s actions. He mentally started to probe Voldemort to do crazy things.

He first made Voldemort do the chicken dance in front of the customers, scaring more than a few of them. After the chicken dance, Voldemort tried to hit on an Aunt Petunia-like lady. The lady freaked out and slapped him before storming out of the store. Harry had almost lost his control over Voldemort when the lady slapped him, but was able to regain it with all of his concentration. He decided to do one more thing and then get out of there. He knew that he would get in trouble and he wasn’t really concerned with that, but getting Ron and Hermione in trouble wasn’t fair to them. Harry didn’t want that to happen.

He turned his attention back to Voldemort and concentrated on the final stupid act. Suddenly, Voldemort faced the gathering crowd and started to sing.


We start our day
Grab our coffee, hey
Wake up and say
Walmart! Walmart! We love you so!

We come to work
We are not jerks
We’re here to serve
Walmart! Walmart! We love you so!

We serve with pride
Comes from inside
For all our lives
Walmart! Walmart! We love you so!


As soon as the song was done, Harry, Ron and Hermione took off for the exit and ran back to Hogwarts, leaving Voldemort completely befuddled as to what happened in a crowd of people and with his manager screaming at his ear.

“Ha! That was great. Feel better, guys?” asked Hermione.

“Much better,” Ron answered, in between fits of laughter. “That completely made my day. How about you, Harry?”

“Me too,” Harry said. “Even makes up for the Winnie the Pooh PEZ dispenser. And now that I look at it, it is cute.”



evlpez’s dare

* Voldemort takes a job as a Walmart Greeter
*Harry breaks down and uses the Imperius Curse to make Voldemort sing a Walmart Cheer
*Minister Fudge resigns; Fred and George are made co-Ministers of Magic
*Ron is victim to someone’s “Perpetual hangnail hex”
*Make use of the following: a PEZ dispenser, “Schmoopsie-poo,” Winnie the Pooh, a winning lottery ticket, a ticket to paradise, a pair of dice

Due Date: March 23