Suicidaly Optimistic Carnivorous African Tundra Tree of Marginally Inconsequential FanFiction Duel!

To begin, the rules:

To enter, you MUST be a member of the Evil Elite. No exception. You need not post that you are entering, simply post when you are ready, by the due date.

Secondly: You need not have submitted Dare Requirements to enter, but IF you submitted Dare Requirements, you MUST submit a completed FF.

Third: All Rules of for FF on SS apply. Go back and read them again. No profanity, etc. We all love the mods.

Fourth: Please be considerate, and post your story all at once, in one post, in this thread. If it is too long for one post, than use as many as you need, one after the other. It makes it easy on the rest of us if we don't have to skip around looking for pieces of your story.

Fifth: Each story must have a title.

Sixth: Use ALL requirements. No exceptions.

Seventh and Most Important: You MUST be finished by midnight, Eastern Standard Time, April 1st 2005!



Without furthur ado, the dares: (in the order they were sent)



Evlpez:

1) Steve Kloves must appear periodically and announce which crucial parts of your fic he will cut from the movie version.

2) Someone must say, plausibly, "Yes, we have no bananas."

3) There must be a commercial break featuring "Plum and Plum's Perfect Wizarding Plumbing and Loos"

4) A 'Carnivorous African Tundra Tree' must be described, in detail, by a major character who has decided to cultivate them.

5) Dobby gets Athlete's foot and swears off socks forever more.


Kirstie McGonagall:

1) Harry wakes up with a cupcake stuck to the side of his head.

2) Luna tries to teach Hagrid to jump rope.

3) Professors Flitwick and McGonagall get married.


felicia1995:

1) Snape is a retard throughout the whole story

2) Hermione must sing "Zymurgy is our Queen" at least 45 times during the story

3) 'Hi, I'm Bob!' must appear on a button in the story

4) Winky dies of a disease.

5) Zymurgy replaces Dumbledore as Headmistress



Cassirin:

1) Someone says, "I'll have a glass of milk. On the rocks."

2) Luna must think she is a fruit bat for some reason.

3) Someone develops an obsession with the Wizard of Oz and believes he/she is the Wicked Witch of the West.

4) One of the boys keeps shouting, "I'm a pretty, pretty girl!"

5) The Sesame Street theme song is sung.


Me4ron:

1) Someone must carry a green stapler around in their pocket for protection.

2) There is an instance in which Harry tries to boost his energy with batteries.

2) Hair is dyed orange.

4) Seamus learns to do tumbleturns.

5) The meaning of life is inquired about multiple times.


Zymurgy:

1) Neville Longbottom makes a discovery and shouts, "Eureka!"

2) Somebody replies, "I do NOT smell!"

3) A Dragon invades and requires people to justify their existence or be eaten.

4) Molly Weasley refuses to cook.

5) The following must make an appearance at some point:
A pair of gloves
Scotch tape
A yellow violin
Giant Toenails
A partridge in a pear tree.