 my forbidden name..... The Gay Agenda™< >Homiesexual uwu
Quinn knew what this place was. What it was for. And that's why for the near year since they'd been back they decided against coming here. They didn't know if they were ready to face it.
But, instinctually, they knew they needed to.
That year was...like an abyss in the back of their mind. In their heart. It was one of the worst years of their life, and yet...there was so much sweetness there, too. It was the beginning of something magical. That year saved them, showed them what it meant to have somewhere to belong. People you belong with. Something to fight for. In the face of the pain, the death, the trauma, flowers bloomed in them.
And then their life was uprooted again. They hadn't known peace, they hadn't had time to process, there wasn't...anyone who had understood what they'd been through. Not anymore. Quinn stared up at the phoenix, their eyes glistening with tears. Their head was spinning and their heart was racing and it was taking everything in them not to crumple into a little ball on the ground, like they were 11 again, back in that room under the castle, having LIAR branded across their forehead, watching a group of muggles get slaughtered. They were getting pulled back, back, back into their past, the one they still had nightmares about to this day.
They looked around the garden, trying to take in the scenery, take their mind off the movie playing on loop in their head. Which is when they noticed him, nose in a notebook on one of the benches. And it was like fate brought them back together here. Quinn knew that, for whatever reason, he wanted to pretend like they didn't exist, or weren't important. But they knew it wasn't true—couldn't be true. Not after all they'd been through together. And Atlas was the one person Quinn had confided everything in that year...and the year after. Not just about what was actively happening, but about their past. Their parents. Their identity. Atlas was still the one person, outside of their Gram, who knew them better than anyone. Even after all these years. And there was no way Quinn was going to let that slip through their fingers. Not again.
They made their way over to him, rummaging through their bag for what they kept for all these years. A purple origami ladybug. It was wrinkled and curling at the edges, and if you opened it up you'd see a faded note inviting Quinn up to the Astronomy tower. One that they read time and time again, and held close to their chest when they were feeling scared or alone. It was their most prized possession.
Quinn sat silently on the bench with Atlas, on the other end to give him space. They set down the ladybug in between them. And they were going to say what they wanted to say, they didn't care if he would listen or run away or start screaming and yelling. They needed to say it. No breathing room for hellos and deflections.
"Do you remember this night?" They tapped the ladybug. "When we were in the Astronomy tower huddled under a blanket. And you were showing me the stars," they said, voice already starting to quiver. "I still do. Polaris, and Andromeda. All of them. I look up every now and then and I find them and I think of you. And that night. It was the best night of my life." Quinn gave a humorless laugh. "It was the first time, not just that school year, but...in years that I felt safe, and seen. And important," they sniffled, a tear running down their cheek. They gave a little shrug. "And that was because of you. And I never got to tell you that. So, thank you. Even if you don't remember," they tacked on, in case he was still trying to play that card. |