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astrocat · 06-03-2021, 07:01 PM

SPOILER!!: they're smart, just not emotionally

"... I'm describing people describing me." Other people were hardly ever nice with their semi-accurate descriptions. And they made assumptions that were only half-right. But the descriptions weren't entirely wrong. If Sammy said that, he'd be lying.

"I know I'm not a bad person. At least not in my own opinion. Which is my favorite opinion." She pulled some sour lemon hard candies out of her robes (who knew where she got it from and why she had it), and then unwrapped a few and popped them in her mouth. Very sour. It was a much better taste of sour than her thoughts tho. "Want one? Or five? Or two?" Pick a number.

"I'll add brainy to my description." See, there was a reason people telling Ash she had no brains were wrong. Ash wasn't stupid when she threw herself into danger. She knew exactly what she was doing. And she hadn't died yet, so she must have been doing something right. Maybe they were the idiots, thinking that she'd survive longer if she shut up. I'd rather die on my feet, than live on my knees. Where was that from? Ash knew that song... she'd have to look for it.

"Maybe fighting is the only thing I know how to do." Had she ever chosen to not fight, given the choice between fighting and accepting defeat? Maybe that one time, when Rosier threatened to kill her on the first day of school. But other than that... she couldn't remember a time when she backed down. She didn't really know how. Was this a thing that parents were supposed to teach you? Oh. Perhaps it was.

"I don't apologize to that many people. Only like, you, my boyfriend that I actually did not steal from anybody if you can believe it, and little kids that I can't protect. That's kinda it." Only people who she should have been able to save, but failed to. She didn't apologize to adults. Or people named Emmerson Cambridge. Or people who hurt her. Those people didn't deserve it.

They were like... kinda sorta hugging now. Ash kinda sorta put her arm around him back, only half-sure that the tentative gesture would not end in getting punched by somebody. She almost sniffled, but then she didn't because she wasn't a crybaby and she was totally fine and she didn't cry in public ~~except for when she did~~. Yeah.

"It's not just the fight that's confusing. Everything's so normal now, but it's also not normal. And like... now that the cult is gone people like me... but also a lot of people don't and I don't know why but nobody will tell me. And like... Healer Poppy... where did she come from and who sent her and why? And also feelings. I don't understand feelings." Sigh. The world really made no sense. It made sense last year. Bad people did bad things to achieve bad ends, and they hurt her because of something very specific that they knew for sure. But now... everything was complicated and people were being fake nice and Ashley Fox did not understand any of it.

She ate yet another hard candy. Her thoughts were salty today. Like tears, or blood or something. But the lemon candies tasted a lot better. Sour. The good kind. Lemon flavored. Mmmm.

06-03-2021, 07:01 PM	#12 (permalink)
astrocat Puffskein Join Date: Jul 2020 Location: New York City Posts: 2,139 Hogwarts RPG Name: Brandon Fox Hufflepuff Fifth Year Hogwarts RPG Name: Phoebe Calypso [s]Dupont[/s] Slytherin Third Year	Which came first, the phoenix or the flame? SPOILER!!: they're smart, just not emotionally Quote: Originally Posted by hermionesclone It was at this exact moment that Sammy's face fell. He knew how the events had affected him, including his feelings about small spaces and the way he always kept a window open. But he couldn't imagine what it must've been like for Ash. Was she scared? Maybe she was scared. Or maybe she was trying to protect herself. This was a lot. The third year decided to move until he was sitting directly beside the fellow Ravenclaw, all while letting his brain do some thinking. "Who are you describing? Yourself? Because I don't think that's the right description for you," he said, wrapping his arms around his knees, "You're more of the kind, brainy type who isn't scared of fighting for herself." Pause. "And being a muggleborn doesn't make you a bad person." Well. This was something, wasn't it? Sammy let out a deep sigh at her words. How was he stuck in the middle of all of this?! The threats, the words..... and all because he was having a conversation with Ash. Sweet Merlin, it was crazy. "Well, if anything, you two do know how to fight." Would that lighten the atmosphere? He hoped so. The last thing he wanted to do was start adding blame for something that was long gone. They were going to get nowhere with this. Like an ongoing circle of confusion and blame. Or, at least, Sammy saw it that way. It was why he let silence fill the air, while his actions did most of the speaking. Shuffling a little closer, he wrapped an arm around her. "You apologise a lot, you know." Not a bad thing but, especially for her, it wasn't a good thing, either. And now it was his turn to be confused. "All of what? The fight?" "... I'm describing people describing me." Other people were hardly ever nice with their semi-accurate descriptions. And they made assumptions that were only half-right. But the descriptions weren't entirely wrong. If Sammy said that, he'd be lying. "I know I'm not a bad person. At least not in my own opinion. Which is my favorite opinion." She pulled some sour lemon hard candies out of her robes (who knew where she got it from and why she had it), and then unwrapped a few and popped them in her mouth. Very sour. It was a much better taste of sour than her thoughts tho. "Want one? Or five? Or two?" Pick a number. "I'll add brainy to my description." See, there was a reason people telling Ash she had no brains were wrong. Ash wasn't stupid when she threw herself into danger. She knew exactly what she was doing. And she hadn't died yet, so she must have been doing something right. Maybe they were the idiots, thinking that she'd survive longer if she shut up. I'd rather die on my feet, than live on my knees. Where was that from? Ash knew that song... she'd have to look for it. "Maybe fighting is the only thing I know how to do." Had she ever chosen to not fight, given the choice between fighting and accepting defeat? Maybe that one time, when Rosier threatened to kill her on the first day of school. But other than that... she couldn't remember a time when she backed down. She didn't really know how. Was this a thing that parents were supposed to teach you? Oh. Perhaps it was. *"I don't apologize to that* many people. Only like, you, my boyfriend that I actually did not steal from anybody if you can believe it, and little kids that I can't protect. That's kinda it."** Only people who she should have been able to save, but failed to. She didn't apologize to adults. Or people named Emmerson Cambridge. Or people who hurt her. Those people didn't deserve it. They were like... kinda sorta hugging now. Ash kinda sorta put her arm around him back, only half-sure that the tentative gesture would not end in getting punched by somebody. She almost sniffled, but then she didn't because she wasn't a crybaby and she was totally fine and she didn't cry in public ~~except for when she did~~. Yeah. "It's not just the fight that's confusing. Everything's so normal now, but it's also not normal. And like... now that the cult is gone people like me... but also a lot of people don't and I don't know why but nobody will tell me. And like... Healer Poppy... where did she come from and who sent her and why? And also feelings. I don't understand feelings." Sigh. The world really made no sense. It made sense last year. Bad people did bad things to achieve bad ends, and they hurt her because of something very specific that they knew for sure. But now... everything was complicated and people were being fake nice and Ashley Fox did not understand any of it. She ate yet another hard candy. Her thoughts were salty today. Like tears, or blood or something. But the lemon candies tasted a lot better. Sour. The good kind. Lemon flavored. Mmmm.