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Chelliephone · 05-21-2021, 10:05 PM

SPOILER!!: we love long posts <3

Quote:

Originally Posted by astrocat

"Only if they don't like me first, and are looking for confirmation bias. Otherwise I'm just a person who they don't know yet." And if they already hated her, what was the point in changing that? Her views were clear. She hid nothing but her motivations. People might try and "fix" her, which was dumb. She didn't need fixing, and even if she did, she'd rather they'd just leave her alone. She was Ash, just Ash, and other people could hate it or not. She didn't need to be liked, except for by herself and a select few people who she would give everything up for. "I just want honesty from people I'm supposed to trust. They don't have to be honest, but I don't have to trust them." Pretending to like her would just harm their relationship worse. "What about you? Is ignorance bliss?" Maybe it was, but Ash was never ignorant. And she didn't think bliss was real. At least not for her.

"Being sparkly might be environmental. I'm half-sure Lisa will turn me into a sparkly chandelier some day." Not a blob of sunshine though. That had to come from within, and Ash did not have a lot of internal sunshine. She'd settle for being a chandelier instead. Made sparkly by other people. "I bet Minjae could be sparkly some day. Let's make it happen. Or maybe just... glimmery. Or glowing pretty colors. Is there such thing as muted sparkles?" There should be. Minjae was like, only sparkly out of the corner of your eye somehow. It was alright. Ash was hardly ever sparkly either.

"I like it too. 'talent' is too set in stone. Hard work is like, moving and stuff. You're not like, confined or whatever. That sounds weird. But the point is, if you ever decide to hate the universe, practicing stuff you have little to no natural talent for sends a strong message." That you didn't have to play by the rules at all. That you made the rules yourself. "If you ever decide to hate the universe. That's a very optional thing." Other people didn't seem to hate the universe. That was alright. They had different lives than she did. "Reading is pretty great. We should all write memoirs. I'd read every single one." The kids at Hogwarts had the most interesting life stories.

AHA. The most important thing in this conversation was that Ash had permission to draw him. Well, everything else was important and philosophical, but this one stuck in her brain the most. "Really? Cooool. I'll add you to the list then. Don't worry, it's from memory- no sitting still for long periods of time required. That's boring." Ash pulled out a small black notebook. In gold lettering on the front it said "Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time." And there was a phoenix with its wings outstretched on the cover. Ash's personal symbol. She had several similar notebooks made, and she figured that this one would be good for keeping track of her therapy (her art project). She flipped open to a long list of names, some crossed out. It was labeled 'to do'. She wrote Evan Nam in her specially colored and unique sparkly black ink at the bottom of the list. There. Now it was in writing. "I find art to be therapeutic. Relaxing and all. How do you like to relax?" And he better not answer 'group therapy'. For obvious reasons.

Just another person they don't know. Wouldn't it be nice if people really did see strangers like that? It seemed like there was always snap decisions made about other people without a conversation. He even had done it at times with his peers. It would be better to just let people someone they didn't know. Until they did. "That makes sense. Honesty is important for any relationship." And no, he didn't mean it as romantic. There were so many other more complicated types of relationships you could have with people without it being any type of attraction interest. He was still just trying to master the 'friend' type of ship. "Honestly, I think I'd be happy to know if people liked me or didn't like me in general. I feel a pretty general sense of apathy." Towards him, but... he supposed he could towards other people as well. Though it was more in looks than in feelings. "My friends transferred last term so there's no one here who I trust yet who could really hurt me anyways." Sure, his sister's could. But they were family so they also got endless second chances.

He laughed at that, "You might be safe. I don't think I'm sparkly yet and I've been around her for 11 years." At least, he didn't think any of the sparkles had rubbed off. And then more talk of Noah's friend and Evan was... intrigued. It seemed like he'd heard Minjae's name fairly often and it seemed like people really liked him. "You sound like you really admired Minjae?" He hadn't spent a lot of time around the older Hufflepuff. Though through Noah, he did know what had happened to him last term. And Ash too, though that didn't feel like something to ask about.

He laughed again at her advise regarding how to hate the universe, that was pretty brilliant. "I never really considered it like that. But you're right. Maybe I should try drawing more." No, he didn't think he'd be good. But throwing some shade at the universe might not be too bad. "I think I'll save my memoir writing until I'm old." And accomplished something. So far his memoir would just be a sob story. It'd be like the opposite of that muggle book How to Win Friends and Influence People. ~~Which he had read, not that it helped.~~

Oh thank goodness no posing. Now there was really no loss to him with having said yes. "Okay! Can I see it when you're done?" Or was it a collection of memories from her Hogwarts years? Art at least seemed to be a helpful form of therapy. It was something he often heard Eomma refer to people to work through their trauma, that and writing. "I like going to the technology lab and playing some of the muggle board games. It reminds me of home." And home was usually relaxing. Going up to the room of requirement on occasion and asking for his bedroom also helped a good deal. "Do you have a favorite spot to draw?"

05-21-2021, 10:05 PM	#20 (permalink)
Chelliephone Blast-Ended Skrewt Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: State of Confusion Posts: 16,360 Hogwarts RPG Name: Vera Brinley Thanatos Gryffindor Seventh Year Hogwarts RPG Name: Mandrake Beery Slytherin Third Year	Anashti l Brat Pack l Sally & Dr. Finklestein SPOILER!!: we love long posts <3 Quote: Originally Posted by astrocat "Only if they don't like me first, and are looking for confirmation bias. Otherwise I'm just a person who they don't know yet." And if they already hated her, what was the point in changing that? Her views were clear. She hid nothing but her motivations. People might try and "fix" her, which was dumb. She didn't need fixing, and even if she did, she'd rather they'd just leave her alone. She was Ash, just Ash, and other people could hate it or not. She didn't need to be liked, except for by herself and a select few people who she would give everything up for. "I just want honesty from people I'm supposed to trust. They don't have to be honest, but I don't have to trust them." Pretending to like her would just harm their relationship worse. "What about you? Is ignorance bliss?" Maybe it was, but Ash was never ignorant. And she didn't think bliss was real. At least not for her. "Being sparkly might be environmental. I'm half-sure Lisa will turn me into a sparkly chandelier some day." Not a blob of sunshine though. That had to come from within, and Ash did not have a lot of internal sunshine. She'd settle for being a chandelier instead. Made sparkly by other people. "I bet Minjae could be sparkly some day. Let's make it happen. Or maybe just... glimmery. Or glowing pretty colors. Is there such thing as muted sparkles?" There should be. Minjae was like, only sparkly out of the corner of your eye somehow. It was alright. Ash was hardly ever sparkly either. "I like it too. 'talent' is too set in stone. Hard work is like, moving and stuff. You're not like, confined or whatever. That sounds weird. But the point is, if you ever decide to hate the universe, practicing stuff you have little to no natural talent for sends a strong message." That you didn't have to play by the rules at all. That you made the rules yourself. "If you ever decide to hate the universe. That's a very optional thing." Other people didn't seem to hate the universe. That was alright. They had different lives than she did. "Reading is pretty great. We should all write memoirs. I'd read every single one." The kids at Hogwarts had the most interesting life stories. AHA. The most important thing in this conversation was that Ash had permission to draw him. Well, everything else was important and philosophical, but this one stuck in her brain the most. "Really? Cooool. I'll add you to the list then. Don't worry, it's from memory- no sitting still for long periods of time required. That's boring." Ash pulled out a small black notebook. In gold lettering on the front it said "Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time." And there was a phoenix with its wings outstretched on the cover. Ash's personal symbol. She had several similar notebooks made, and she figured that this one would be good for keeping track of her therapy (her art project). She flipped open to a long list of names, some crossed out. It was labeled 'to do'. She wrote Evan Nam in her specially colored and unique sparkly black ink at the bottom of the list. There. Now it was in writing. "I find art to be therapeutic. Relaxing and all. How do you like to relax?" And he better not answer 'group therapy'. For obvious reasons. Just another person they don't know. Wouldn't it be nice if people really did see strangers like that? It seemed like there was always snap decisions made about other people without a conversation. He even had done it at times with his peers. It would be better to just let people someone they didn't know. Until they did. "That makes sense. Honesty is important for any relationship." And no, he didn't mean it as romantic. There were so many other more complicated types of relationships you could have with people without it being any type of attraction interest. He was still just trying to master the 'friend' type of ship. "Honestly, I think I'd be happy to know if people liked me or didn't like me in general. I feel a pretty general sense of apathy." Towards him, but... he supposed he could towards other people as well. Though it was more in looks than in feelings. "My friends transferred last term so there's no one here who I trust yet who could really hurt me anyways." Sure, his sister's could. But they were family so they also got endless second chances. He laughed at that, "You might be safe. I don't think I'm sparkly yet and I've been around her for 11 years." At least, he didn't think any of the sparkles had rubbed off. And then more talk of Noah's friend and Evan was... intrigued. It seemed like he'd heard Minjae's name fairly often and it seemed like people really liked him. "You sound like you really admired Minjae?" He hadn't spent a lot of time around the older Hufflepuff. Though through Noah, he did know what had happened to him last term. And Ash too, though that didn't feel like something to ask about. He laughed again at her advise regarding how to hate the universe, that was pretty brilliant. "I never really considered it like that. But you're right. Maybe I should try drawing more." No, he didn't think he'd be good. But throwing some shade at the universe might not be too bad. "I think I'll save my memoir writing until I'm old." And accomplished something. So far his memoir would just be a sob story. It'd be like the opposite of that muggle book How to Win Friends and Influence People. ~~Which he had read, not that it helped.~~ Oh thank goodness no posing. Now there was really no loss to him with having said yes. "Okay! Can I see it when you're done?" Or was it a collection of memories from her Hogwarts years? Art at least seemed to be a helpful form of therapy. It was something he often heard Eomma refer to people to work through their trauma, that and writing. "I like going to the technology lab and playing some of the muggle board games. It reminds me of home." And home was usually relaxing. Going up to the room of requirement on occasion and asking for his bedroom also helped a good deal. "Do you have a favorite spot to draw?" __________________ _________ _________________________________________ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ Let them point and laugh at who we are, it's you and me here dancing from the start