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astrocat · 05-19-2021, 02:50 PM

SPOILER!!: Hi Evan!

"Only if they don't like me first, and are looking for confirmation bias. Otherwise I'm just a person who they don't know yet." And if they already hated her, what was the point in changing that? Her views were clear. She hid nothing but her motivations. People might try and "fix" her, which was dumb. She didn't need fixing, and even if she did, she'd rather they'd just leave her alone. She was Ash, just Ash, and other people could hate it or not. She didn't need to be liked, except for by herself and a select few people who she would give everything up for. "I just want honesty from people I'm supposed to trust. They don't have to be honest, but I don't have to trust them." Pretending to like her would just harm their relationship worse. "What about you? Is ignorance bliss?" Maybe it was, but Ash was never ignorant. And she didn't think bliss was real. At least not for her.

"Being sparkly might be environmental. I'm half-sure Lisa will turn me into a sparkly chandelier some day." Not a blob of sunshine though. That had to come from within, and Ash did not have a lot of internal sunshine. She'd settle for being a chandelier instead. Made sparkly by other people. "I bet Minjae could be sparkly some day. Let's make it happen. Or maybe just... glimmery. Or glowing pretty colors. Is there such thing as muted sparkles?" There should be. Minjae was like, only sparkly out of the corner of your eye somehow. It was alright. Ash was hardly ever sparkly either.

"I like it too. 'talent' is too set in stone. Hard work is like, moving and stuff. You're not like, confined or whatever. That sounds weird. But the point is, if you ever decide to hate the universe, practicing stuff you have little to no natural talent for sends a strong message." That you didn't have to play by the rules at all. That you made the rules yourself. "If you ever decide to hate the universe. That's a very optional thing." Other people didn't seem to hate the universe. That was alright. They had different lives than she did. "Reading is pretty great. We should all write memoirs. I'd read every single one." The kids at Hogwarts had the most interesting life stories.

AHA. The most important thing in this conversation was that Ash had permission to draw him. Well, everything else was important and philosophical, but this one stuck in her brain the most. "Really? Cooool. I'll add you to the list then. Don't worry, it's from memory- no sitting still for long periods of time required. That's boring." Ash pulled out a small black notebook. In gold lettering on the front it said "Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time." And there was a phoenix with its wings outstretched on the cover. Ash's personal symbol. She had several similar notebooks made, and she figured that this one would be good for keeping track of her therapy (her art project). She flipped open to a long list of names, some crossed out. It was labeled 'to do'. She wrote Evan Nam in her specially colored and unique sparkly black ink at the bottom of the list. There. Now it was in writing. "I find art to be therapeutic. Relaxing and all. How do you like to relax?" And he better not answer 'group therapy'. For obvious reasons.

05-19-2021, 02:50 PM	#19 (permalink)
astrocat Puffskein Join Date: Jul 2020 Location: New York City Posts: 2,139 Hogwarts RPG Name: Brandon Fox Hufflepuff Fifth Year Hogwarts RPG Name: Phoebe Calypso [s]Dupont[/s] Slytherin Third Year	long post coming up. oopsies Which came first, the phoenix or the flame? SPOILER!!: Hi Evan! Quote: Originally Posted by Chelliephone "Do you think people that don't know you well might think you don't like them too?" He wondered what it was exactly that would have made it obvious with her. Was it a real obvious? Or the obvious in his type of way where he just... didn't know how to connect so it was assumed. "I guess that makes sense then especially you'd want the same courtesy from others. I guess knowing for sure either way is better than assumptions or miscommunications because people only think you don't like them or create rumors about not liking you or... whatever." People talking behind your back would be the worst, and he imagined even more so if it was someone that was assumed to be a friend. "That doesn't seem an unreasonable desire." A sparkly blob was a family trait? Evan actually laughed at that, nodding his head. "If it is, it probably carried down from our Appa. Eomma is really pretty and nice, but she's more reserved like Maya and me. Our dad, Noah and Lisa are all sunshine and energy and... sparkles." Like she had said. "I only met Minjae briefly, and his brother" though he did know he was here at school now, he'd seen him in classes. "Minjae seems nice enough, but I guess I don't see sparkly either." Practice makes possible? "I like the way that sounds." It was a very good thing to remember. She should put it on stickers or all her drawings or something, a certain type of signature to remind people to keep going. "I like.. reading." Maybe he could just do something research related when he was older? Or be a book editor, or write his own or... something. Her next question did surprise him and he raised an eyebrow to show it but... well he didn't actually see a reason to not. "If you really want to, I don't mind." "Only if they don't like me first, and are looking for confirmation bias. Otherwise I'm just a person who they don't know yet." And if they already hated her, what was the point in changing that? Her views were clear. She hid nothing but her motivations. People might try and "fix" her, which was dumb. She didn't need fixing, and even if she did, she'd rather they'd just leave her alone. She was Ash, just Ash, and other people could hate it or not. She didn't need to be liked, except for by herself and a select few people who she would give everything up for. "I just want honesty from people I'm supposed to trust. They don't have to be honest, but I don't have to trust them." Pretending to like her would just harm their relationship worse. "What about you? Is ignorance bliss?" Maybe it was, but Ash was never ignorant. And she didn't think bliss was real. At least not for her. "Being sparkly might be environmental. I'm half-sure Lisa will turn me into a sparkly chandelier some day." Not a blob of sunshine though. That had to come from within, and Ash did not have a lot of internal sunshine. She'd settle for being a chandelier instead. Made sparkly by other people. "I bet Minjae could be sparkly some day. Let's make it happen. Or maybe just... glimmery. Or glowing pretty colors. Is there such thing as muted sparkles?" There should be. Minjae was like, only sparkly out of the corner of your eye somehow. It was alright. Ash was hardly ever sparkly either. "I like it too. 'talent' is too set in stone. Hard work is like, moving and stuff. You're not like, confined or whatever. That sounds weird. But the point is, if you ever decide to hate the universe, practicing stuff you have little to no natural talent for sends a strong message." That you didn't have to play by the rules at all. That you made the rules yourself. "If you ever decide to hate the universe. That's a very optional thing." Other people didn't seem to hate the universe. That was alright. They had different lives than she did. "Reading is pretty great. We should all write memoirs. I'd read every single one." The kids at Hogwarts had the most interesting life stories. AHA. The most important thing in this conversation was that Ash had permission to draw him. Well, everything else was important and philosophical, but this one stuck in her brain the most. "Really? Cooool. I'll add you to the list then. Don't worry, it's from memory- no sitting still for long periods of time required. That's boring." Ash pulled out a small black notebook. In gold lettering on the front it said "Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time." And there was a phoenix with its wings outstretched on the cover. Ash's personal symbol. She had several similar notebooks made, and she figured that this one would be good for keeping track of her therapy (her art project). She flipped open to a long list of names, some crossed out. It was labeled 'to do'. She wrote Evan Nam in her specially colored and unique sparkly black ink at the bottom of the list. There. Now it was in writing. "I find art to be therapeutic. Relaxing and all. How do you like to relax?" And he better not answer 'group therapy'. For obvious reasons.