 Which came first, the phoenix or the flame?
Ash kept feeling uneasy. The unease came from a nagging feeling that maybe she was wrong. About everything. Ash could be blind sometimes, but she wasn't blind to other people's opinions about her. She was well aware that most people thought she was unable of making decisions. She couldn't understand why. Sure, she made stupid decisions, but she knew what she was getting into when she made them and understood the consequences. She wasn't reckless, she was just... willing to ignore the consequences. Reckless meant you didn't think about the consequences. Ash thought about them all the time, she just didn't care.
But she still felt uneasy about this. Hence why she was knocking on Schmoe's door. If anyone could reassure her that being defiant didn't make her an idiot, it was Schmoe. She was pretty sure she trusted him. He'd suffered consequences too. Did he regret defiance? That was Ash's big worry at the moment. If an adult she respected thought that everyone should just stay out of trouble and stop speaking out, then maybe she was doing something wrong. Maybe she was hurting other people with her actions. Maybe she should just... be quiet for once and stop standing up to superior forces that she couldn't beat. But she wouldn't believe it until she heard it from Schmoe. Her would know the right answer to her question.
Do you regret standing up?
Should I? |