DR. FINNEAS SCHMOE
NOODLEMAN IN LOAFERS.
the man, the meme.
fc: michael cera | kumquat

It's Schmoe Time, Baby
Full Name Dr. Finneas Schmoe
Age 41 omg how
Date of Birth April 02 2063
Place of Birth Dedham, Essex, England
Current Residence Glasgow, Scotland
Current Occupation Muggle Studies Professor
Relationship Status With girlfriend of 8 years, supermodel, Alina Oliveira Newly Eligible Bachelor (depending on your definition of eligible and also of bachelor and also of ... desirability)

Eye colour Brown
Hair colour & style Brown, perpetually curly atop the head
Build A skinny, lanky fellow (not to be mistaken for a limp spaghetti noodle)
Height 6 feet 3 inches (does not help the limp noodle situation), but is perpetually slumped over
Style Sweater vests, button-ups, suits that look like an awkward fit, and bowties
etc A grown man with unfortunate case of baby-face

Lineage Pureblood
Wand 13 1/3 inch robust hickory with clabbert tooth core
Boggart Toddlers and owls (they share many qualities: beady eyes and no sense of where they ought to poo)
Amorentia Pumpkin pie, lemongrass tea, and the smell of an airplane right before takeoff
Patronus A bat

The More You Know, the More You Schmoe
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry ages 11 - 16

House Hufflepuff
Years Attended Sept 2074 - June 2079 ; Graduated early with OWLs & NEWTs completed by his 5th Year
Extracurriculars Chess club, Magical Theory, Frog Choir, Gobbledegook

WU Edinburgh Campus ages 16 - 20

Program of Study Muggle Studies w/ Concentration on muggle history and systems of behavior
Years Attended Sept 2079 - June 2083
Awards and Scholarships tbd

University of Oxford ages 20 - 25

Program of Study PhD in Anthropology
Area of Research Cultural Anthropology
Years Attended Sept 2083 - 2088
Awards and Scholarships tbd

What's a Schmoe Gotta Do To Get A Job Around Here?
Undergraduate Researcher, Worsom Lab for Muggle Cultural Studies (4 years)
Muggle Anthropologist & Head of Research Team (7 years)
Keynote Speaker and Panelist for English Anthropologist Association Conference (3 years)
Substitute Lecturer WU Muggle Studies (6 years) Later Part-Time Professor (3 years)

You Win Some, You Lose Schmome: Awards and Accolades
many.
[lol this section is to be updated when i have more than 2 braincells]
[i said this almost a year ago, and i have yet to locate the 3+ braincells to update this section]

The Schmore You Know
Finneas is smart. A genius, if you will. His brain is the size of mars, probably. He truly enjoys learning and is able to memorize facts far faster than the average schmoe Joe. He is a master of magic, can summon a patronus in mere seconds. He's driven by the desire to learn and is quite logical in his approach to life's biggest curveballs. He may not be your brawny, first choice of a protector during a battle, but he'd surely protect you with his skilled wand-work and systematic approach to problem solving. What he has in mars-sized-brain and magical ability, however, he unfortunately lacks in social awareness. Finneas is a nervous man. He's an anxious blinker and struggles to hold eye contact for prolonged periods of time. His toes are in a perpetually stubbed state, as he's not very good on his feet. He enjoys puns and intelligent humor. He's not an athletic man, nor does he enjoy/bother keeping up with wizard-pop-culture. But he is always on the hunt for the newest, coolest muggle gadgets 'n gizmos. Thing-a-ma-bobs? He's got plenty!

TLDR:He's a nerdy, mouth-breather with a hot ex-girlfriend, no social skills, and love for education.