presents

Wizarding Wireless Network News | Episode 456 | 30 September 2103

Citizens of the wizarding United Kingdom, good evening. This is your Minister, Charles Hollingberry, speaking on behalf of this special installment of the Wizarding Wireless Network News.

Today I am pleased to report that thanks to the efforts of Magical Transportation department head Simone Krafft and Magical Accidents and Catastrophes department head Sian Llewellyn and their respective teams the previous hindrances plaguing the functionality of your Ministry have finally been put to rest. All floo networks in and out are fully operational, as are the lifts within the Ministry. We are also in the process of returning all owls to the Owl Post as their services within the Ministry are no longer required with the Interdepartmental memos now functioning as they should. With all of the escaped Azkaban prisoners accounted for, Bain Goldwasser the head of Magical Law Enforcement has turned his attentions to ensuring that all Ministry employees are reliable, trustworthy, of good conduct and character, and loyal to the Ministry. We at your Ministry of Magic look forward to being even more productive in the coming year of 2104 now that the purity of our institutions has been solidified.

In other prosperous developments, Hogwarts Headmaster Malachi Trent along with the Hogwarts Board of Governors have begun the implementation of a new, rigorous and refined curriculum at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It will usher in a new era for all wizardingkind. Save for the Minister’s Office, all communications to and from Hogwarts have been temporarily suspended to permit students to focus their efforts on their studies.

As a grandfather with my own granddaughter at Hogwarts, a thriving sixth year if I may mention, I understand how upsetting and frustrating this situation must be for all the families and loved ones. We, Headmaster Trent and myself, implore you to understand that this period of isolation is all for the greater good and any inconvenience caused will be repaid a hundredfold in the benefits for our wizarding youth and the greater wizarding population. Rest assured that your children are in capable hands that wish nothing more than for the prosperity of our wizarding youth.

To close out this broadcast, please indulge me as always while I recount a bit of historic trivia regarding the office of Minister for Magic. This evening we will be taking a peek at Millicent Bagnold who served the office of Minister from 1980 - 1990. A pureblood witch renowned for being a very capable leader. Her tenure is most remembered for taking place during the end of the first wizarding war. Bagnold had to answer to the International Confederation of Wizards for the number of breaches of the International Statute of Secrecy on the day and night following Harry Potter’s survival of Lord Voldemort’s attack. Her extravagant displays of breathtaking magic were reported as mere meteor showers by muggle news papers. She acquitted herself magnificently with the now infamous words: ‘I assert our inalienable right to party.’ Which is really rather delightful if I do say so myself.

This has been your Minister for Magic, Charles Hollingberry. Good evening and goodnight!