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Wands are Hard to Break
Beloved Wandmaker finally out of St Mungo's
by Elfrida Plaskitt

DIAGON ALLEY - Ramiel Skeres, proprietor of Ollivander’s in Diagon Alley, has finally been released from St. Mungo’s Hospital earlier today. Just in time for Christmas, Skeres was finally allowed to go home after being treated for a serious head wound he had suffered during the escape of prisoners from Azkaban earlier this year. While no official statement has been made so far, anonymous sources at the hospital have confirmed that Mr Skeres is in no condition to make wands again in the near future; he appears to be exhibiting signs of reduced mobility in his hands and fingers, both of which are absolutely vital in the art of wandmaking.

The man’s injuries were sustained during a mass breakout from Azkaban prison on September 24th, 2101. While the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, according to 30 year old Auror Grace Hensley, claim to have everything under control, a great number of questions remain: first, where was MLE when the prisoners broke out of Azkaban? Why weren’t they able to prevent something like this from happening in the first place? As previously reported, numerous explosions went off simultaneously that day, leaving Azkaban in a state of complete chaos - and the Aurors in charge of guarding the prisoners with a lot of explaining to do. Were there too few of them? Were they not properly trained? Unfortunately, we were unable to get a statement from Law Enforcement Head Alexa Cambridge herself, seeing as she is still recovering from her own injuries after her kidnapping by known criminal Jack Roller during the breakout. If not even the head of MLE is safe from harm, how can we be sure that we are? Who is going to protect us?

While the Aurors were able to capture the majority of inmates rather quickly, a handful of prisoners were still able to escape, running off to enjoy their new-found freedom in Diagon Alley. Which brings us to our next question...why did it take MLE this long to arrive in Diagon Alley? Almost impossible to miss, the escapees had some run-ins with both Diagon Alley staff and visitors alike, the attack on Ramiel Skeres being among the most brutal and fateful of said encounters. Apparently looking to steal new wands, a small group of Azkaban inmates stormed Ollivander’s, armed with crowbars and bats. Only the quick thinking of Mr Skeres prevented the prisoners from stealing or damaging each and every wand in the wandmaker’s possession; he, however, was not so lucky. According to the Junior Undersecretary to the Minister, Duncan M. Fletcher III, only his own heroic intervention at just the right moment stopped the escapees from killing Mr Skeres. With the assistance of arriving Auror Grace Hensley and Kenmare Kestrels Chaser Zinnia Shacklebolt, they were able to prevent the worst from happening and were even able to arrest four of the escaped prisoners. St. Mungo's healer Rafael Harden arrived on scene to tend to Mr Skeres injuries and transport him safely to receive life saving treatment. The rest of the group of escapees, however, managed to escape once again, this time with a bag of stolen wands and other valuable artifacts.

Now armed with wands, the prisoners then made their way further into Diagon Alley, sending spells in every which way. In their search for valuables, the escapees naturally found themselves inside Gringotts where they attempted to coerce the goblins into opening the bank’s vaults to them. When some of them refused, they had to pay for this act of resilience with their lives. An enormous explosion left a hole in the largest Wizarding bank in London and three of the goblins with mortal injuries from the blast. Also caught in the fray where Paradise Piercings and Tattoos employee Jolie Chosen and Owl Post's Mackenzie Motts who were attacked by one of the escapees and subsequently had the deposit bags on their persons stolen. Paradise Piercings and Tattoos reported 4800 galleons had been swiped and an additional 3000 galleons from the Owl Post. Arriving Law Enforcement was able to apprehend two of the escaped prisoners, however, a third one still managed to escape, presumably joining another small group of rogue inmates in the streets. 22 year old architect Amaia Calderón and fiancé Unspeakable Hazen Krum almost met the same fate as the Gringotts goblins when they fell victim to just such a group of armed escapees. “They came out of nowhere” is how Calderón describes the scene, recalling that horrible afternoon which almost changed their lives forever. “Hazen and I we...we barely escaped with our lives.”

The prisoners not only left a path of destruction in their wake but also damaged our country’s international reputation. In addition to very publicly blowing up a butterbeer cart and placing the cart’s owner in critical condition on their quest for some fun and action, they also wreaked havoc at the Leaky Cauldron in the close vicinity of both the French and the Indian Ambassador, Valentin Roux and Sachin Singh. While the former refused to comment altogether, Singh described the Azkaban inmate he had encountered as “rather crass and rude” and clearly looking for trouble. They did find trouble a little further down the streets at Madam Malkin’s Robes for All Occasions. “I was so worried for my patrons. How could such a thing happen...at Azkaban?” The owner, Victoria Martin, whose shop was ransacked by a group of escaped prisoners shares the general public’s shock and disbelief about how something like this could have happened here in London.

And finally, we are still left to wonder: where are the rest of the escaped prisoners? Despite all these questions and concerns, Zinnia Shacklebolt, upon our request for comment, seemed to still have faith in MLE, saying that she trusts they “will not rest until all of them have been apprehended and brought to justice”. Hopefully that trust is not misplaced.

Jack Roller is currently in custody while awaiting trial.