presents

Earlier this year, the Daily Prophet featured an article on Diagon Alley’s own Matchmaker, Matchmaker and the shop’s annual spike in business. With Valentine’s Day and the busy dating season over, new details have emerged about the dates provided by Matchmaker, Matchmaker (more specifically, the types of dates offered) that call the shop’s practices into question. When one hears the phrase “blind date”, it typically brings to mind things like candlelit dinners, dancing, or maybe attending a show or concert, but matchmaker Juliet Raphael apparently had other ideas in mind for this year's valentines.

One such idea took the phrase “prisoners of love” to ridiculous levels with a blind date set up in Azkaban prison! Yes, you read that right. The date was supposed to entail a climb up the prison walls, an Auror-led tour of the facility and time spent getting to know each other over dinner… while locked inside a cell. The couple, however, had other ideas. Ramiel Skeres says, "We didn't climb the walls of course, that's just madness" If you think that location sounds less than ideal, you're not alone! Zinnia Shacklebolt had this to say about the situation, "My company was pleasant enough, but that crockpot of a matchmaker needs to be admitted to the Janus Thickey Ward because sure someone Obliviated the common sense right out of her. A blind date in Azbakan? Honestly."

Speaking of the Janus Thickney ward, another date took place inside St. Mungo's hospital itself, complete with a tour of the wards and potion area, meet and greet with patients, and three-course meal provided by the hospital cafeteria. I spoke to the unfortunate couple, and needless to say, they were not pleased! "It was a bloody joke without a punchline,” says Elliot Cox. “I didn't even bother to wait for my blind date to arrive before decided to vacate the premises." Mr. Cox's companion, Tala Asadi, was more generous in her assessment. "I'm not sure if a hospital is ever an ideal location, location to take... someone you're potentially interested in,” she says. “I felt rather uneasy, but it did give us something to talk about, so I suppose it did the job it was meant to do."

These less than romantic venues have led some to question matchmaker Juliet Raphael's sanity. Has Ms. Raphael been at the matchmaker game so long that she's losing her touch? Did she run out of ideas for dates? Was the annual uptick in business a contributing factor? Were the stranger date locations perhaps the result of a scheduling conflict with other more traditional venues?

When asked to explain her reasoning behind the locations, Juliet Raphael commented, "Oh, deary, such a silly thing to ask. We here at Matchmaker, Matchmaker give all of our clients a unique place to fall head over heels with their perfect match. It is not the location that matters at the end of the day, but rather whether or not the pairing can make a connection with each other in the scenario they were put in. Whether at the park on the swings, in a café with a coffee at hand, or, yes, even climbing the walls of a prison, love has a habit of sparking in the oddest of places where you would least expect to find it."

With that response, it's up to the readers to determine whether or not there was method to the madness. What do you think? Are you satisfied with Ms. Raphael's explanation?

OOC: authorship credit: MadMadamMalfoy