Kaitlyn and Hanna ^_^ Yeah I broke that mirror, so what? ll NOT backward ll Official Gryfferin ll Lemon's favourite Now it was her turn to look at the man as if he had two heads...and five horns while she was at it. It was funny he'd said the choice was left up to her after saying what he did. Offering for her to work alone if she didn't want to help them. Brilliant. Just wonderful. Now, whether it was the case or not, she wouldn't be able to shake the idea that she was obligated to and a disappointment if she didn't. A Head Girl that refused to help younger students who the man thought "could learn from her" and her own housemates too. It was a double infraction if she refused...no matter how much she really didn't want to. Just when the initial anxiety over rule breaking was beginning to subside.
It had nothing to do with either girl, and on its own, Jessa found nothing wrong with helping. It was one of those things that made life a little easier.
But she hated partner work. Honestly. There were very few people she didn't mind partnering with, most of them gone now. One of them a go to for almost half her mandatory partner work. She didn't like it. It gave anxiety. As much as this decision now was. If she agreed....she'd have to work with them. If she refused, she'd spend the remainder of the lesson worrying the man, the girls and anyone else who'd been listening would find her selfish and rather unlike what a Head Girl was meant to be. The perceived judgement was enough to leave standing there, the fidgeting returned with a vengeance.
Of course she knew all along she wasn't Head Girl material but these little moments that crept up to remind her did awful things to her nerves that were, quite frankly, already bad.
She would have to agree. It was the only way to keep herself from further spiraling over something so seemingly inconsequential. Funny how it was usually the inconsequential things that set her off. Another spiral for another time. For now, she would really have to just go with it--except she'd been told that was something she was meant to be working on. Doing things just because it benefited others, regardless of her own wants. Circe, there really was no winning, was there?
You know what? She'd stew over disappointing herself and Dr. Harding later. He wasn't here, Professor Wayland was and she wasn't looking forward to any sort of look creeping on her face for her refusal to lend a helping hand. This was expected of her in the here and now--perhaps not from him but the badge demanded it and it would be a terrible look on her so after staring at the man like he'd been a kraken springing from the lake for several silent minutes, Jessa turned to the younger girls (Hanna and Kaitlyn). "Mind if I join you two?"
__________________ Imma say all the words inside my head____________________________________
______________________________I'm fired up and tired of the way that things are said. |