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NifflerFan · 06-06-2018, 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Callie

Quinn tilted her head curiously and studied the Professor, as her fingers danced anxious and antsy on the arm of the chair. There were subtle shifts and ticks in the Professor's expressions, like emotions trying to display themselves before being clamped off too quickly to actually read. Whatever they were, it happened while Quinn had been talking about the hospital. So, she ventured: "Leukemia. I'm in remission."

Did that help? Quinn watched Professor Grimsbane's face for a moment, trying to judge if it had, or just confused her. Whatever. It didn't matter anyway. She shook her head, clearing away the thought. Her fingers still danced and drummed on the arm of the chair, occasionally joined by an anxious leg shaking with pent up energy. Talking was helping calm her head, but anger, the hurt was still there, hiding just below her consciousness right now, in her veins and muscles; around her heart. It was hard to sit still.

"I don't, em..." She looked back at the fire in thought for a moment, drumming not her fingers now, but her whole hand at the wrist. "I don't think Imo...Mrs. Greyvson likes my parents all that much." Not that Quinn blamed her. "At all."

Again, Quinn shifted uncomfortably and just shrugged. It was awkward being told things like that, when all she's ever known was the opposite. It felt like a fairy tale happily-ever-after that just didn't really exist in real life. "Yeah, well...They really shouldn't have been parents." She knew it. She's always known it, and has even said it freely on occasion. Her parents should never have been parents. But they were. And saying they shouldn't, doesn't change anything. "They're not...abusive or anything. They just...are really self-absorbed." They focused on themselves rather exclusively, that was all.

And when Professor Grimsbane suggested staying with Beth and Mrs. Greyvson over break, Quinn's eyes widened a little in surprise. She shrugged, and gave a minuscule shake of her head. "I'm fine. It's fine. I...I'm used to it. I don't need a babysitter." She took a deep breathe, and turned to the fire, wiping away a stray tear, hopefully out of sight of the Professor. "I can take care of myself." She's done it enough. Even during Christmas. Even during her birthday occasionally.

The anger spiked sharply in her at that thought. Talking about the past, that was fine. She'd numbed herself to all that. But now, they were back on the present, and she could feel it acutely again. The angry energy flowing through her muscles like lava making it hard to sit still. That violent, bitter storm raging around her heart, beating down on it; squeezing it; suffocating it.

Now she couldn't not feel it.

Quinn dropped her head, eyes closed, and took on long breath. The nails of one hand dug into the arm of the chair. Focus on her breathing. Ignore everything else. Just breathe. She sat like that for a while, taking deep breaths. Too methodical to be natural. She was forcing her breathing to be slower. Then she ran her hands through her hair again, and looked up. There was a dark, bitter anger burning in her eyes, despite what how she was trying to appear.

She couldn't sit any longer; she had to move; she had to... "It doesn't matter." She half stood up, half jumped up, pacing somewhat erratically. She just had to move. Her eyes everywhere Celestia wasn't. "I don't care, okay? I don't."

Leukemia. There was a word that Celestia didn't ever want to hear from a child; she knew that the disease had sapped the life from far too many Muggle children to consider it anything less than a dire condition. Thinking aloud, Celestia stuttered out, "Your parents...didn't visit you...when you had leukemia?" She was afraid that she couldn't keep the shock off her face or out of her tone. After all, it wasn't a real question -- Quinn had just told her that they hadn't visited. Celestia simply could not imagine anyone leaving their own child to deal with the various treatments and symptoms in a hospital by herself. A glimmer of anger was slowly building in the professor's chest as she listened to Quinn. Why had the Healers never reported the girl's parents to the Ministry? Surely they were guilty of neglect of a severely ill child, if of no more overt forms of abuse. It was increasingly clear to Celestia, however, that Quinn had been severely emotionally abused. "I'm very glad to hear that you're in remission," Celestia added softly, as she quickly attempted to wipe the shock off her face.

As Quinn affirmed that Mrs. Greyvson did not like her parents much, Celestia nodded in satisfaction. Yes, perhaps this woman would be willing to look after Quinn over the holidays. These plans were almost shut down by Quinn's next words, but Celestia wasn't about to give in that easily.
"It is NOT fine, Quinn, and this isn't about needing a babysitter," Celestia told her firmly. "It's about allowing you to have a reliable support system outside of school -- a sort of stand-in parent, if you will." Her resolve to send an owl to Mrs. Greyvson was strengthening by the minute.

When Quinn had that her parents shouldn't be parents at all, Celestia was inclined to agree with her. She continued gently, "Unfortunately, there are many people who should not be parents but have children nonetheless. However, this does not make those children worth any less than those who have more...appropriate parents." The professor managed to stop herself from directly insulting the Kevelles just in time. She was watching Quinn's face intently and did not miss the tear. The young Ravenclaw was doing her best to be discreet, and Celestia thought it was best to allow her some sort of privacy for the moment at least.

She waited patiently as Quinn put her head down and seemed to be focusing on her breathing. Good. She had often found that asking students to take deep breaths when they were upset helped them to center themselves.

The pacing on its own wouldn't bother Celestia; she had the same habit when she became agitated. Quinn's words soon indicated that she was still terribly upset -- the breathing hadn't helped. The professor took a breath herself and endeavored to keep her face as smooth and calm as possible. She got to her feet and moved over to the young Ravenclaw, attempting to put a hand on the girl's shoulder to briefly stop her pacing.
"Quinn, look at me," Celestia said in a firm tone. She added gently, "Of course it matters. You matter, Quinn, and you should not let your parents define your own self-worth." She had to stop and take another deep breath to keep the anger out of her voice as she went on, "You do care. What your parents wrote is out of line, but it would be extremely painful for anyone. You don't have to be ashamed of your feelings, Quinn." With that, Celestia withdrew her hand from Quinn's shoulder to allow the Ravenclaw to resume her pacing if she wished to. She only hoped that at least some of her words were getting through to the Ravenclaw.

06-06-2018, 03:14 AM	#16 (permalink)
NifflerFan DMAC Firecrab Join Date: Apr 2017 Posts: 739	Gryffindor for life Notorious Niffler Quote: Originally Posted by Callie Quinn tilted her head curiously and studied the Professor, as her fingers danced anxious and antsy on the arm of the chair. There were subtle shifts and ticks in the Professor's expressions, like emotions trying to display themselves before being clamped off too quickly to actually read. Whatever they were, it happened while Quinn had been talking about the hospital. So, she ventured: "Leukemia. I'm in remission." Did that help? Quinn watched Professor Grimsbane's face for a moment, trying to judge if it had, or just confused her. Whatever. It didn't matter anyway. She shook her head, clearing away the thought. Her fingers still danced and drummed on the arm of the chair, occasionally joined by an anxious leg shaking with pent up energy. Talking was helping calm her head, but anger, the hurt was still there, hiding just below her consciousness right now, in her veins and muscles; around her heart. It was hard to sit still. "I don't, em..." She looked back at the fire in thought for a moment, drumming not her fingers now, but her whole hand at the wrist. "I don't think Imo...Mrs. Greyvson likes my parents all that much." Not that Quinn blamed her. "At all." Again, Quinn shifted uncomfortably and just shrugged. It was awkward being told things like that, when all she's ever known was the opposite. It felt like a fairy tale happily-ever-after that just didn't really exist in real life. "Yeah, well...They really shouldn't have been parents." She knew it. She's always known it, and has even said it freely on occasion. Her parents should never have been parents. But they were. And saying they shouldn't, doesn't change anything. "They're not...abusive or anything. They just...are really self-absorbed." They focused on themselves rather exclusively, that was all. And when Professor Grimsbane suggested staying with Beth and Mrs. Greyvson over break, Quinn's eyes widened a little in surprise. She shrugged, and gave a minuscule shake of her head. "I'm fine. It's fine. I...I'm used to it. I don't need a babysitter." She took a deep breathe, and turned to the fire, wiping away a stray tear, hopefully out of sight of the Professor. "I can take care of myself." She's done it enough. Even during Christmas. Even during her birthday occasionally. The anger spiked sharply in her at that thought. Talking about the past, that was fine. She'd numbed herself to all that. But now, they were back on the present, and she could feel it acutely again. The angry energy flowing through her muscles like lava making it hard to sit still. That violent, bitter storm raging around her heart, beating down on it; squeezing it; suffocating it. Now she couldn't not feel it. Quinn dropped her head, eyes closed, and took on long breath. The nails of one hand dug into the arm of the chair. Focus on her breathing. Ignore everything else. Just breathe. She sat like that for a while, taking deep breaths. Too methodical to be natural. She was forcing her breathing to be slower. Then she ran her hands through her hair again, and looked up. There was a dark, bitter anger burning in her eyes, despite what how she was trying to appear. She couldn't sit any longer; she had to move; she had to... "It doesn't matter." She half stood up, half jumped up, pacing somewhat erratically. She just had to move. Her eyes everywhere Celestia wasn't. "I don't care, okay? I don't." Leukemia. There was a word that Celestia didn't ever want to hear from a child; she knew that the disease had sapped the life from far too many Muggle children to consider it anything less than a dire condition. Thinking aloud, Celestia stuttered out, "Your parents...didn't visit you...when you had leukemia?" She was afraid that she couldn't keep the shock off her face or out of her tone. After all, it wasn't a real question -- Quinn had just told her that they hadn't visited. Celestia simply could not imagine anyone leaving their own child to deal with the various treatments and symptoms in a hospital by herself. A glimmer of anger was slowly building in the professor's chest as she listened to Quinn. Why had the Healers never reported the girl's parents to the Ministry? Surely they were guilty of neglect of a severely ill child, if of no more overt forms of abuse. It was increasingly clear to Celestia, however, that Quinn had been severely emotionally abused. "I'm very glad to hear that you're in remission," Celestia added softly, as she quickly attempted to wipe the shock off her face. As Quinn affirmed that Mrs. Greyvson did not like her parents much, Celestia nodded in satisfaction. Yes, perhaps this woman would be willing to look after Quinn over the holidays. These plans were almost shut down by Quinn's next words, but Celestia wasn't about to give in that easily. "It is NOT fine, Quinn, and this isn't about needing a babysitter," Celestia told her firmly. "It's about allowing you to have a reliable support system outside of school -- a sort of stand-in parent, if you will." Her resolve to send an owl to Mrs. Greyvson was strengthening by the minute. When Quinn had that her parents shouldn't be parents at all, Celestia was inclined to agree with her. She continued gently, "Unfortunately, there are many people who should not be parents but have children nonetheless. However, this does not make those children worth any less than those who have more...appropriate parents." The professor managed to stop herself from directly insulting the Kevelles just in time. She was watching Quinn's face intently and did not miss the tear. The young Ravenclaw was doing her best to be discreet, and Celestia thought it was best to allow her some sort of privacy for the moment at least. She waited patiently as Quinn put her head down and seemed to be focusing on her breathing. Good. She had often found that asking students to take deep breaths when they were upset helped them to center themselves. The pacing on its own wouldn't bother Celestia; she had the same habit when she became agitated. Quinn's words soon indicated that she was still terribly upset -- the breathing hadn't helped. The professor took a breath herself and endeavored to keep her face as smooth and calm as possible. She got to her feet and moved over to the young Ravenclaw, attempting to put a hand on the girl's shoulder to briefly stop her pacing. "Quinn, look at me," Celestia said in a firm tone. She added gently, *"Of course it matters. You* matter, Quinn, and you should not let your parents define your own self-worth." She had to stop and take another deep breath to keep the anger out of her voice as she went on, "You do care. What your parents wrote is out of line, but it would be extremely painful for anyone. You don't have to be ashamed of your feelings, Quinn."** With that, Celestia withdrew her hand from Quinn's shoulder to allow the Ravenclaw to resume her pacing if she wished to. She only hoped that at least some of her words were getting through to the Ravenclaw.