The Sorting Hat grew quiet; perhaps it doesn’t like being insulted. “Unfortunately for you, Valerie Gray, I do not have the human anatomy in order to stick anything anywhere,” is all it replies. There is no response to your inquiry about worthlessness.

The knob is coming loose. You heave backwards with your foot on the stove, but this much force is highly unnecessary. It pops off, probably forcing you backward quite a bit since you used a loooooot of energy for that. The hat cackles in your ears.

The knob slowly starts to morph...into….Isolt Sayre’s brooch. The Gordian Knot becomes more visible, and it seems….you have just found the second and last item.

“Well done.” The hat lears.