 Who Am I? Ern's 2460FUN
"MR. W. HUGHBERT."
Oh crud. That was him.
Hugh wasn't one much for panicking in front of large groups of people. He'd been paraded around by his family his whole life from fancy event to fancy event. But all those people were old, not with the times, yo. This crowd was predominately his peers and they were all watching. Weird transfer kid. He hadn't anticipated the looks. He hadn't anticipated being looked at much at all.
This was scary. He'd admit it.
He hobbled up to the hat, not without tripping over his own feet once or twice, and threw himself into the seat. Hugh swore he heard something sigh at his fumble. Oh hey! It was the hat.
"Yo hat man. Whatta do-"
"Don't," the hat finished for him. Hugh squirmed in his seat and folded his hands in his lap patiently. See? He could be good, man.
The accessory poked around in his brain, he could feel it. It was warm and icky and intrusive. "Hughbert comma W-"
It was Hugh's turn to echo back the don't. He hissed, "I go by Hugh, man. Don't rat me out first day. I've gotta live with this. You don't."
If he could have seen the hat he would have imagined it looking put out with him. Whatever. His first name was his-- no one else's.
"Now, Hugh," the name was laced with teasing, "I'm sensing you're a little bit of a-- what's the word..."
"Original bro?"
"Spazz." The hat finished clearly. "I'm also sensing you're not much for getting any of this wrong. Perfectionist....or at least an attempted perfectionist. I daresay you come up short in that category."
The hat poked in his head a little more. Hugh flinched. This was child ABUSE, yo. These were his thoughts.
"You're loyal. Perhaps misguided and intelligent. That last is shocking."
Hugh squinted and whispered back, "And unimportant in the grand scheme of traits, hatty."
"Perhaps," the hat mused, "I'm sensing Hufflepuff in you."
Hugh froze and repeated the mantra in his head over and over again: not Hufflepuff. His family, the Pureblood elitists they were, would flip if he came back with any sorting that was irregular. Anything outside of Slytherin. And he didn't want to be sent back home by the woman's command so soon because of this STUPID hat.
"I am not stupid, Mr. Hughbert. But if it's Slytherin you desire then Slytherin it shall be."
It was what he desired. He wanted to STAY here. Going home was not an option.
"SLYTHERIN!"
Boom pow! He was up and off toward the table.
Just, ahem, not before he tripped down the stairs.
"I'm fine. It's okay."
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