| Dwarf
Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: #8000FF
Posts: 35,308
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Amelia "Mia" Adair
Slytherin Sixth Year
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Leigh Upstead
Hufflepuff Fifth Year  x11
|  be curious, not judgmental
Text Cut: Tobes <3 Quote:
Originally Posted by Felixir  It wasn't until they were both in the broom cupboard with the door shut firmly behind them that Toby let out a huge breath. He, too, found himself sliding heavily down the wall so that he was sat almost directly opposite Soph.
Toby remained quiet for a moment, staring straight at the wall ahead of him almost as though in shock, his forearms resting on bent knees and head leaning against the stone wall behind him. When Sophie spoke, he glanced at her and managed a smile.
"S'okay," he said, hoping to Merlin that he sounded as sincere as he felt. Really, he wasn't angry or upset or anything, just a little (well, a lot) taken aback. That had all been kind of unexpected, see?
Well, now they were here, and now was the time to say something. But, for what felt like the first time ever, Toby was speechless. He looked again at Soph for just a moment, before shifting his position so he was hugging his legs, and pressed his forehead against his knees as he gave a small groan.
"That," he said in a muffled voice, finally able to speak now his face was more or less hidden. "Wasn't how I planned to start this conversation."
Even as he spoke it felt like there were a million questions and ideas and memories and images and racing thoughts flying round and round and round in Toby's head. He knew he should look up, but it was probably a better idea to stay like this with his eyes squeezed tightly shut; it made it way easier to concentrate on what they were talking about instead of trying to look all composed or whatever.
He could do this. He could have this conversation. Toby almost looked like he was going to be sick. Sophie wanted to scoot over next to him and put an arm around him and try to help him feel better, but she wasn't sure that was the best move at the moment. He... probably would've sat beside her if he wanted to be near her for this conversation. For now, Soph was going to let Tobes be in control of how things developed. Except that, y'know, he was curled up in a bit of a ball and hiding from her. She could barely even make out his muffled words, and she frowned at the top of his head. Was he going to stay like that, or sit up and say something?
She waited a moment to see if he had more to add, then she sighed. Best to get straight to the point, right? "Tobes... lemme talk for a second, 'kay? Just listen." She let that request sink in for a moment, then launched into it, "Y'don't need to feel pressured to do anything. Nothing's changed between us - we're still Soph and Tobes, the best besties of all time. Okay?" She paused, hoping he would look at her. "I don't think it's as simple as Culloden made it sound. I mean... maybe I'm overthinking, but there are a lotta risks that come with putting a label on things. Everyone's... scrutiny and judgment - people inevitably prying into our business because they think we're cute and," she used her fingers to make quotation marks in the air, "'want to know how we're doing.' There'll be all sorts of expectations put upon us by people, and we're suddenly in this... mysterious realm of dating with all its weird rules and obligations and things we're probably supposed to do or whatever." There were a lot of scary things that came with being in an official "relationship" with someone, and sometimes when Sophie thought about what that pressure could do to her friendship with Tobes, it worried her.
"Everything's so easy for us now. Effortless. Free of expectations. So we could stay like this... safe and comfortable and cozy and content, or... take the plunge into the unknown. Take some risks. I mean..."
What did she mean?
She looked at Tobes long and hard, choosing her next words ever-so carefully, "I wanna be with you, and only you. " Forever, she meant, but it felt too silly to verbalize such an idea. "'Course I wanna be able to call you mine and call myself your girlfriend some day, but..." She wanted to search his eyes for some sort of understanding, or if he was leaning one way or the other, "I don't see the hurry. If we're already doing all the things without the label now... and the thought of putting a label on it makes you..." nervous? nutty? even more squirmy than normal? "...uncomfortable and pressured and you don't want to, then I don't see the big deal. I just want you to be happy and okay and comfortable around me, like normal. M'still just Sophie. You're not gonna hurt my feelings or break me or anything. We can just keep doing what we're doing. Or... stop doing something, too, if there's something y'don't like doing that makes you uneasy."
Or they could be brave and make it official and see if the foundation of best friendship they had set would stand the test of time. She didn't say that, though - she was going to leave the whole thing up to Toby. Toby, the boy whose happiness mattered more to her than anything in the whole world. Even more than her own happiness that would come from being able to call Tobes her boyfriend. It meant far more to her that they would do whatever would put him at ease.
After all, if they were meant to be, they had the rest of their lives to make it official, didn't they?
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