 Post 1. Don't mind us... just farting over here... Farmer Carter | | Ama's Secret
I won't tell you where Elijah was when it was raining worms and the poltergeist was digging up a grave for Nigel, because if I did... I'd have to kill you.
ANYWAYZ.
Can we take a second to talk about how HAWT the new Care of Magical Creatures teacher is? Elijah found her to be far easier on the eye than Williamson. She even received a couple of unexpected winks here and there. Elijah'd be her fire crab any day.
Speaking of which.
He slowly removed his assigned fire crab from it's cage and rested it on the ground. It was kind of cute in a weird kind of way... Elijah lay down on the ground in front of the creature and stared at it. Elijah wasn't interested in washing the thing. He looked relatively clean, and besides, what CRAB cared about it's hygiene, really?
What Elijah REALLY wanted to study was HOW the fire crab shot fire out of it's butt... It seemed curious to him. Was there a particular SOMETHING about their butts that made them able to do that? Elijah knew *HE* had a particularly awesome backside that helped attract the ladies, but what if HE could shoot fire out of HIS butt? Surely that would impress them even more...
"Okay lil' guy, we're going to be partners," he said, letting his fire crab in on what was occurring, "You are going to teach me the ways in your buttology." The bath could wait.
The first idea that came to mind was an old trick he had seen even muggles try. The ole' farting on an open flame trick. Removing his wand from his pocket, he cast a small spell to ignite a tiny flame from the end of it. He moved the flame behind him, positioning right in front of his butt andddd... Well, this was the part where he was supposed to fart. But, he didn't need to fart. So...
*SQQQUEEEEEZZZZEEEEEEE*
*SQQQQQQQQQQUUUUUEEEEEEZZZEEEEEE*
*SQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEZZZZEEEEEE*
FART ALREADY!!!!
__________________
When I look into the
MIRROR OF ERISED
all that I see is
YOU
*wink*
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