Chapter One - Public Transportation: It isn't Alchemy!
Chapter by Armen Recard

As an employee of the Department of Magical Transportation for the past twelve years and Department Head of the same for nearly six years I am more than qualified to help teach you the basic principles of trying to fit in with Muggles when travelling domestically or even internationally through the use of Public Transportation. There is really no difference between our transportation and theirs just that ours is better and faster by tenfold. So come along, put your broomsticks away, shelf the Portkey and your floo powder, and put on your Muggle clothes because Armen Recard will be showing you in this short but concise chapter how to travel like a Muggle.

The Three Steps:
As you already know, as I have mentioned it above and the fact that you’ve most likely traveled by magic for most of your life or you wouldn’t have purchased this book, magical means of transport are usually much quicker, cleaner, and simpler to use—but they are not always an option due to the International Statue of Secrecy. This Statute, enacted in 1692 by the International Confederation of Wizards to help keep the Magical and Mundane worlds separate, states that ‘when a witch or wizard travels they must do so with all the care and concern of maintaining secrecy for their magical brethren and in doing so adapt to Muggle ways when magical transport is not available or if used would break any clause of the International Statute of Secrecy…’ Clause 12. With that being said, it seems pretty obvious right? Travel like a Muggle if you think your actions will risk showing yourself as a Witch or Wizard and landing you in a Wizengamot hearing and possibly Azkaban. Come on now we aren’t Trolls!

For the purpose of this book I have come up with three steps that will ensure you won’t compromise your true identity to non-magical folk as well as arrive to your destination on time and with time to spare. If you follow them I can assure you won’t have any problems. {{Please note I personally won’t and will not be held responsible for any breaches of the International Statute of Secrecy made by those who’ve read this book and/or cannot be held liable in a court of law.}}

• Step One (Prepare, Prepare, Prepare!) – Whether your trip consists of a quick journey through the city to work or a family vacation to Italy for the week it is extremely important to plan each and every step of the journey. One of the biggest things you need to worry about is your dress. Pick something that you’ve seen Muggles wear before such as a suit or a dress for work occasions but if in doubt just wear trousers with a nice shirt. If you are overly nervous about this take a few minutes and watch the street from your window to see what Muggles are wearing to gain some inspiration. It’s not that hard. Anything labeled or resembling bathing suits, underclothes, or Halloween costumes do not qualify as good travelling clothes.

Another thing one must do when preparing to travel the Muggle way is to be sure to have the correct currency and amount of it. When using public transport such as buses or the Underground trains known as Subway Trains, it is smart to invest in a metro card or some sort of prepaid type card or token that will gain you entry without having to fuss with Muggle money. I highly recommend this choice and to get one of these just ask someone how to get to your local bus or Underground station and simply inquire for a token. It would be best to have at least 50£ just in case, it’s hard to tell how much money you’ll need. For international travel you will need to go to the Ministry of Magic to either change your money into British pounds and then have them change it to the proper currency for whatever country you are visiting at the airport when you arrive or proceed to the Ministry of Magic’s Department of International Cooperation who should be able to do all of that in one simple step.

Arriving early is a must! If you are not familiar with the bus or underground schedule there is no telling when you will need to catch whatever bus or train you need, so if you show up early you can wait for the correct train without being rushed. In the event you are going international or have a very long commute, flying at an airport gives you more information on the time of your departure but getting there can still require the early arrival. This waiting also gives you further opportunity to Muggle watch, picking up ideas on how to dress, topics to talk about in order to fit in better, and ponder Muggle inventions such as the telephone, street lights and automobiles.

• Step Two (Stay Cool, They Will Accept You) – When you are in the process of travelling by Muggle means just act natural—like a Muggle. Keep your wand hidden and instead bring along a book to hold your interest or a magazine. Be sure that whatever reading material you bring is mundane or at least won’t bring attention to yourself as being magical. (The Daily Prophet, Witch Weekly, and unfortunately, this book, are not good choices UNLESS they are re-covered to look like something else.) If you aren’t a reader and feel capable, you can make small talk with those around you but please don’t do this unless you think you are ready; if you haven’t been around Muggles a lot before now, I recommend just reading a book.

• Step Three (Second Verse, Same as the First!) – On your return trip, don’t freak out just do what you did to get there. It’s not Alchemy or anything. Repeat steps one and two and you will be fine.

Would you look at that? You’re a Muggle Public Transportation pro and it barely took anytime at all! Good job and you’re welcome. I am more than happy to have shared my expertise and wisdom with you and I hope you won’t ever again shy away from an activity just because you don’t think you can take on Muggle Transportation.