 The Kisapaths | Sila!Roti | -2 | TouchableHair | ToiletPaperGuy | QueenOfConfusion
The coldness of the floor was oddly comforting and he shifted just a little bit so that his cheek was resting on it fully. It served as a reminder of where they were. It stopped him from drowning in all the sadness and confusion he felt right now. He heaved another sigh, closing his eyes for a moment to savor the way his face which felt as if it was burning up was slowly cooling down again. At least the part that was touching the floor. Everything else was still rather hot and probably slightly red too.
His eyes slowly opened again when he heard her whisper - no, whimper rather - his name and he met her gaze briefly. Only for a moment, then he went back to looking at the strand of hair between his fingers. Somehow he just couldn't look at her right now. See how broken she was. See her crying like that. It was too much for him right now. The way he felt as if somebody had just torn his body apart and put it together again all wrong was enough pain one person could manage. He just couldn't think about hers right now. It was too much.
He couldn't fix them both.
Lewis didn't glance back at her even when she pointed out that he came back. All he did was let go of her hair and reach up to rub his eyes with his thumb and middle finger until he saw little bright lights on the inside of his eyelids. Yes, he had come back. Only now he wasn't sure how to proceed. It was all just a huge blob of pain and rejection inside of him right now, making it hard to think things through properly. Or to think at all really. He didn't know what he should do now. What she should do. What this meant.
"I...I can't do this anymore..." His voice was unusually husky as if he'd caught a cold or something, only he hadn't. He was still not looking at her, his hand still covering most of his eyes. "I just...you said...and Selina too...you said that...that I could fix you. That I did fix you." He took another slightly shaky breath, sort of shaking his head slowly, as far as that was possible seeing as it was resting on the floor. "But I...I failed." At this he did finally open his eyes to look at her, an almost shocked look on his face as the realization of what had just said hit him.
Searching her eyes for something that he wasn't sure was there, Lewis bit his lip hard to sort of keep his breathing under control. "And I...I can't do this anymore. It's...it's breaking me." When his eyes sort of bore into hers this time, he did know what he was looking for. He was hoping to find a reason for him to keep trying in them. He was hoping that she would show him that it wasn't useless, that it was worth it. He wanted her to give him a reason to stay. |