SPOILER!!: SOMEHOW?! *sobs* your post did make me cry :(
Quote:
Originally Posted by
hjhm 
Lewis...
Now why is it everytime that name comes up Jonathan feels annoyed. He barely knows the guy but there was something definitely there, the slight twitch he feels especially when it's Kurumi who says his name. He tried recalling this Lewis person. He knows that he met him on the train, that was for sure. Even Kurumi confirmed it back when they were talking at the fountain. Jonathan seems to recall his face but not as much. Plus, thinking about this is just making him just more annoyed. Jonathan didn't focused much on the guy, however he focused more on Kurumi.
He can deal with him later and hopefully when he's already calmed down.
Jonathan didn't respond to her once again even though when he wanted to. He was just running out of decent words to say. Right now, his mind is not as stable as it should be. In fact, unstable is an understatement to what he feels right now. He no longer knows who he is really mad at. There was a lot going on and it's just the FIRST day that he is at Hogwarts. Way to start his term off.
Brilliant... Just pure brilliant.
The silence between the two had became longer than he expected. He was expecting that she would just blurt it out and explain everything, then let him talk but no. She turned mute and he as well. Jonathan frowned and for some reason just felt like he needed a water to drink, or just something to make him move. He felt like his feet just suddenly glued on the ground and he was stuck there.
His eyes followed her shoes until he was left staring at her face and her expression. Okay, maybe she's waiting for him to talk thus, he will. "are you not going to tell me how it happened at least?" he said with a blank expression again. His heart beat felt somehow calm but for some reason, it doesn't feel like way. He felt everything is just too pressured, too awkward.
He doesn't like it one bit. Jonathan is so used to having an easy-going personality and it is breaking his soul that this is suddenly happening to him... to them. He paused for another while again and tried to search for more words. This will never go anywhere if they both kept their mouths shut. So now, it's time to give it some use.
Gulp.
He swallowed what was left of the air that he could breathe, his hand on his pocket and the other holding his hat on the side, he once again opened his mouth to ask another pride degrading question "Honestly... tell me the truth. Do you like him then?" he blurted out. Was he regretting he asked that question? Yes. But curiosity got the best of him. Regret was not even an option right now, because this conversation already started with it.
So it's your turn to talk Kurumi. Jonathan looked at her and looked at the wide space he left in between them. She needed to explain and he needed to hear.
Kurumi averted her eyes again, selfishly not wanting to see the way he was reacting to all of this. It all only confirmed what she already knew. He deserved better than her. He had seen her in this one light and she had let him down. That was the worst part of all this maybe. That she wasn't the girl he thought she was. She wasn't the girl that she thought she was. She had been weak. She was weak. Jonathan deserved better. Kurumi wanted him to deserve better.
Still, it was still true. What she had said that day at the fountain. That was what was causing her body to tremble right now. The tears to fall. Her hands to form tight fists at her side while she continued to hug herself tightly. The fact that he wasn't saying anything only made it worse. Only drilled deep down into her just how much she had hurt him. How much he was hurting. Jonathan had always been the quiet sort, but not around her. Around her ... he had always been different. Now he was silent and it was frightening.
Looking at him again, she inhaled and exhaled several times, her body shaking like a flutterby bush with each breath. "
F-F-First was...in the owlery..." she said, her eyes reflecting an almost eerie honesty before she continued. "
...or....so I was told..." Her arms tightened around herself and she tried to make herself look smaller. It had been so long ago now...but still those memories were missing like newspaper clippings taken out of the Sunday paper. "
I...I don't remember....that one..."
Tears were burning her cheeks now and she lowered her gaze to his mouth that was frighteningly in a neutral position.
His next question nearly did cause her legs to come out from under her and she regretted looking into Jonathan's chocolate eyes because what she saw there...was the worst feeling in the world being reflected back at her...and she was the cause of it. All of it. She shut her eyes tight, trying to block the image of him looking at her like that from her mind, but it was impossible. It was burned there and would forever remain there like a scar on her very soul. Slowly, she breathed in again as the lump in her throat was cruel enough to allow her to find her voice again. "
Yes..."
Kurumi was back to being frozen again, her eyes meeting his, her breath uneven, every fiber of her being being shattered to pieces. She knew that this was going to be hard. That it was going to break her heart and his...but she never imagined it was going to be like this. This was agony. This was....well, no words could even begin to describe what this was.
"
J-J-Jonathan I...." but she didn't even know how to finish that sentence. And so it remained there. Unfinished. Broken, just like them.