Dear Readers,

It has come to my attention that our house... "authority" is a bit lame to say the least. And by house "AUTHORITY" I mean our pitiful prefects.

The badge has been reduced to nothing more than a symbol of power for the individual to use however they see fit. Some chose to weild this to help them impress girls while others wave it in front of others to show that they are better than everyone else.

It's despicable is what it is, Iris. A badge does not make one better than someone else. Not one bit. The prefects should be focusing on helping underclassmen, new students, and the like. And really isn't that badge supposed to mean they are people to be looked up to? PFFFFFFFT.


Just as with a rainbow, dear Ares, there is a wide spectrum of colors and colorful personalities that are selected for the position. I dare say that there are more than a few dull colors this term that I would most certainly never select to help paint my rainbows. However, we are forgetting one more part of this equation. Some of our captains are a bit lackluster as well. Shouldnot those with badges wear their house colors the brightest? I've seen puddles of water with more shine.


Too true, dearest Iris. Too true. It has come to my notice that the Ravenclaw prefect, Eino, seems to be more obsessed with some hunt for Pogrebins than he is with Prefect duties. What sense does that make? Furthermore, should a clearly mentally disturbed boy lead his house?

Not to mention that on more than one occasion he hasn't been able to find his way out of the classroom and instead has run into walls and closets. How can someone lead an entire house when they cannot even find a proper exit?

So sad... so very, very sad.

How about that one that thinks she is descended from House Elves? What a weirdo that one is. Although, at least she can be seen trying to HELP others as opposed to pretending they don't exist outside of the quidditch pitch like a certain blue clad captain. You know... the one with the red hair. I think it's fake, by the way. The hair that is.


Ah yes, you mean that Hollingberry girl who spends more time in the kitchens than her own common room. I also believe that the captain you are referring to and a certain Head Boy are more concerned with each other's well being than anything else. Obsession is never a good thing, my darlings. Do keep that in mind.

Yes. Obsession. That sums those two up quite nicely, I think. How can their friends let them carry on like that? It is sick to see two people acting as they do. Lovestruck teenagers fawning over one another. Not healthy at all.

Touche, Ares. TOUCHE. Speaking of obsessions. The new Gryffindor prefect seems to be more concerned with flashing his badge for the ladies than he is in performing his duties. Why, he has been spotted flirting with at least 6 different girls this term and is quite the meddler when it comes to relationships. Someone as obsessed with skirt chasing as that lion, well, I would be concerned. Red is the color of passion after all.

If red is the color of passion then perhaps green is the color of insanity, my dear Iris. I do believe the new Slytherin Quidditch Captain is indeed bonkers, you see. She is rarely seen anywhere which leads me to believe she may be a hermit of sorts. You know the sort; hides in dark places and sometimes eats their own hair. Yep. Certifiable this one is.

I do believe that you are on to something there, Ares. Their prefects are a piece of work as well, especially that female one. Did you know that she believes the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain to be an alien? And I don't think I need to remind you about what happened in Charms class. But, what can you expected when they have a Head of House who clearly selects its leaders based on their level
of insanity?


I do believe that you are onto something there, as well. When your Head of House is clearly insane what can be expected of the student leaders? I think this stands to reason with Professor "I think I am a pirate ARGGGH" Vindictus as well. Well... perhaps it is the case through all of the houses.

If the leaders are not chosen based on levels of sanity or lack thereof then I would wager that they are chosen merely on the basis that they are rude, ridiculous, impatient people. Much like the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain and her Ravenclaw counterpart. Yep, she gets mentions twice. Guess what, guys: Quidditch does NOT make the world turn.

Of course, we cannot overlook those Badgers either. Why, they certainly are a sneaky bunch this term. While their house claims loyality and trust, they must also be a house that promotes rudeness. Why, their own Head of House gave away a gift of chocolates she had been given to her own students WITHOUT trying them herself! Very selfish indeed. No wonder her Head Boy is too.

Selfish you mean? Or rude? He was seen IGNORING blatant disrespect from one student to another recently. One was a new student and one was a "friend" of his... how is that for Prefecting? Huh? Ignoring spats between students merely because you feel you have some sort of LOYALTY to one over the other. THat is not the way being a leader works, Mister Lockhart. Not at all. And what about that female
prefect of theirs? I hear she spits in people's drinks.

No, it certainly is not. You cannot pick and choose in that position. People are not like socks in one's sock drawer. Which, by the way, I hear that the Slytherin male prefect is a sort of a horder and hides things in his sock drawer. Why, I wager that he bribed that one Slytherin boy to go and steal ducks from the pond so that they could be added to his collection.

Ducks? Was he planning to put socks on them you think? This is just further proof that the leadership at this school has gone 'round the twist, my dear, sweet Iris. 'Round the twist I say.

'Round the twist and to the dogs as it were.

And how out of the BLUE was it with the selection of Head Girl? Where did their previous female prefect vanish to? Perhaps our little miss Vashti isn't as innocent as we all think she is. That girl CAN see thestrals you know.

Well I am wondering to what end would she have made the previous prefect disappear... it's not like SHE was ever around to begin with. Perhaps the previous Prefect, the Slytherin QC, and the Hufflepuff QC are all holed up in some hobbit hole somewhere. You know, some hobbit hole OTHER THAN the Hufflepuff common room.


Oh dear. That must be a rather messy place to take up residence. I can already smell the odor from here. Whatever is the school to do, Ares?


Give up all hope? Run screaming for the forest? Take order into our hands? Ask for some Godly intervention?

Whatever course you Hogwartians choose to take, be sure that you follow someone who at least knows the way.
We have seen your TRUE colors, Prefects and Captains!

Yes, the color most prominent, dearest, sweetest Iris, is indeed BROWN. Brown like the noses of those aforementioned Huffies and brown like the drab souls of those in leadership this term and terms to follow in some cases.

Keep your eyes open dear Hogwartians, we are here for YOU! We give you the scoop as we get it here.



-Ares and Iris♥