Quote:
Originally Posted by
Syd 
Of course, Dallin should have expected what Ellie said next. She was blaming herself for the fact that Dallin kissed Vashti. It was insane. Sure, it was Ellie that Dallin wanted to make jealous or whatever but it was by no means her fault. Ellie always blamed herself, though. That's just how she was.
The word 'dumped' stood out to Dallin, and he involuntarily grimaced. Yeah, he'd been dumped. By Ellie. Twice, actually. But still, whatever he did after Ellie broke up with him was not caused because she did. Well, not directly, at least. Pretty much everything he had done was somehow indirectly related.
Anyway.
"Stop blaming yourself, please." His voice was quiet, and he was staring at his hands. "We're both adults here. And... well, I can make my own choices. Even if you dumped me." The last bit had a hint of bitterness to it... and he hurried to fix his tone. "I mean... what I'm trying to say is..." What was he trying to say?
"I... I'm curious. Can you just tell me what it's been like for you? If that's not being too forward..."
Sigh. Ellie had a feeling Dallin would say that. She was always one to blame herself. That's just the way she was. Probably because it was
true and she didn't want Dallin to feel guilty. Ellie nodded at what he said but that didn't she wouldn't silently blame herself. Louisa even said it was all Ellie's fault, so she had proof.
There was slight bitterness to his tone, she noticed. But he seemed to realize that and tried to catch himself. Ellie almost smiled as she waited for his recovery... Hm.
Pursing her lips, Ellie sighed heavily. What a question. Ellie didn't want to lie, but she didn't want to sound pathetic either.
"It's not being too forward..." Maybe Ellie just really missed talking to him because she didn't want the conversation to end.
"Honestly... it's been rough." Ellie looked up at Dallin and paused for a moment.
"You don't realize how much someone means to you until you let them go... And then you notice just how much time you spent by their side because suddenly you're constantly alone." Ellie looked back at the ground.
"There's always friends, but even the best of them can't fill that spot in your heart. My heart." Her voice got quiet until it was only a whisper.
"I miss you. A lot."