...wait.

What?! NO! WHY?!

Read the plant a bedtime story?! The plant would never know it was being read to, though! Oh, for the love of Merlin!

Sierra sat down next to the plant, making herself comfortable just in case this took a long time. "Okay, here goes..."

"I'm not a pirate. I'm not even a person. You don't see me, and you have absolutely no idea that I even exist. I'm Elvira the Invisible, and I was given that name at the mere age of seven by one of my old Muggle school teachers. You see, Ole Miss Byron claims that I was the kind of kid who could sneak right on by you, right up under your nose even, and make a grab for anything you owned and be off with it before you even knew it! Once, she claimed I stole an apple off her desk. It was missing, and she'd seen me out on the playground chomping down on it. She said it was her apple, and that I'd somehow gotten a hold of it right up under her very nose. My question to her, though, was--you keep apples under your nose?

...but you wanna know my secret? I *am* the kind of kid who can sneak right on by you, right up under your nose even, and make a grab for anything you own and be off with it before you even know it. I learned the trick of the trade from my father, Elmer the Invisible. So once I figured out how good I was, I found me a crew of classmates, and together we formed a group of paperclip-stealing, lunch money-grabbing, apple-eating pirates who rule the playground! That's our ship over there. *points to monkey bars* We call it the Ship 'o Thieves, because that's what we are--thieves. PIRATES OF THE PLAYGROUND!

My friends don't know I'm magical. I'm ten now, and they all think I'm moving off to some boarding school next year for top of the line playground pirates. I'm going to Hogwarts, I know. They don't know that, though. They also don't know that I once saved them from a man-eating FLOBBERWORM right outside on our very playground. It was slithering and a slimming toward us, but I thought fast and threw my stolen apple at it. That flobberworm wasn't slithering and a slimming much anymore after that. Then this other time, I spotted a clabbert just across the field. My classmates thought someone had done lit up a Christmas tree right in the middle of February, but I just told them that was the tree I stashed the ship's spotlights in, and they all believed me.

Then on a third occasion, my family's delivery owl had gotten loose. It flew right on up to the monkey bars known as our ship and delivered a treasure map to me! It was a treasure map I tell ya--a real one! I didn't let my friends see it, though. They would have found out that Pooky the Owl had accidentally delivered me a piece of paper that told my daddy he needed to pay our light bill straight away or else. I ended up telling my friends a band of thieves was after our ship's spotlights. Well, it was sort of true. Someone was after our lights... Oh, and this one time, I brought my father's real magical wand to school with me! I told all my friends it was an ancient object stolen from the King of Spain, and that if I happened to get mad at them and swish and flick it about, they'd turn into a monkey and be confined to the ship for life!

My friends have just named me Captain of the ship. Captain Elvira the Invisible, they call me. I got my title by saving them all from this MAD HAG who tried to attack just last Tuesday. (Psst--Miss Byron is the hag. I know this, because she has a wart on her CHEEK!). She came stomping across that playground toward us (toward me, actually--she was looking for her stolen apple), and I yelled for everyone to take a run for it! I told them that Ole Miss Byron had been cursed and would eat them all to their death if they didn't vacate the area pronto! Really, I just didn't want them all to be around when I got scolded. What sort of captain would I be in their eyes then?!

So that's my story (and I'm sticking to it)."

"...and that's the story of Elvira the Invisible. I wrote it myself, soo..." ...you better have liked it. She trailed off, though, not finishing that sentence out loud. "Well, I guess that's all for now. It's getting sort of late, so this is the point where I wish you sweet dreams."

She stood up and brushed the dirt off her pants. "Sweet Dreams then," she said. Then she cleaned up a bit, gathered all her own materials, then left the greenhouse.

OOC: Elvira the Invisible, written by: Me.