"Oh To Be Young and Feel Love's Keen Sting"
Or even the old ones feel it too....
My dear moon children, I come to you for the last time with the gravest of news. However, I do believe that this news is not entirely new to you all. A few months back, you beloved Muggle Studies professor, Jeremy Zookara went missing. The reason passed down was that he sought work elsewhere, but is that really reason enough for him to pack up his extensive rubber duck collection and leave the school? No! Clearly there is another side to this moon’s story.
One has to first suspect the Astronomy professor and all his talk about aliens and life on other planets. This goddess has seen the moon and all its sides and does wonder herself sometimes if we are truly alone in the universe, but the man seemed a bit preoccupied during the lesson. It almost seemed as though he knew there was other life out there and that they were coming. And perhaps they did come and beamed the innocent Professor Zookara up in their rocket ship and took him off to Mars.
If this theory seems a little too out of this world for you, then perhaps this one will tickle your fancy, dear moon children. Did you not notice that your History of Magic professor seemed just a little too pleased to be teaching the final lesson of the term all by herself? With such an elaborate stage and the title of joint Muggle Studies and History of Magic in the description, one would think that she would have been more concerned that he had not showed up and simply shrugged her shoulders with a simple ‘the show must go on.’ This goddess has already suspected her as being a dark pirate lord, and I am afraid she has acted on it. With her pirate lesson, there seemed to be an odd emphasis on muggle thoughts that, at times, it seemed like you were all in a Muggle Studies lesson and not a History of Magic lesson. Yes, this sinister woman has been after Professor Zookara’s position from the start and most likely sent the poor man to Davy Jones’ Locker.
There is yet another theory that has just recently been illuminated upon. As the ever eloquent Hera explained, the demented ways of Professor Vindictus have once again surfaced and he was caught in a passionate embrace and kiss with Gryffindor Head of House and school librarian, Kimber Donovan. Now, my dear moon children, you may or may not be aware of the romance between Donovan and Zookara, but they were often spotted in corridors together and occasionally whispering sweet nothings to one another – at least what the portraits tell me. Our final theory on the missing professor is that he had his heart ripped out of his chest, thrown on the ground, and trampled on by Donovan who seems to be playing the field. Not only was she snogging Vindictus, but the Groundskeeper seemed even more upset by the scene. Could it be that the seemingly innocent librarian took on three lovers this term? That is certainly not a subject one would be able to look up in the library.
So, my dear moon children, which of the three theories seems the most likely to you?
It’s all moonshine,
Artemis