| Chizpurfle
Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: underwater
Posts: 10,319
 x9
|  Stuck inside with Sirius | *Splish-Splash* | bamBAM | ☁ Spooktacular ☁
4. The Hole Inside
Dear Raiden,
I hope this message finds you well. With everything at the end of term, I never got round to telling you...
Nia’s hand hovered above the paper. For all the fact she wanted to write this, the words wouldn’t flow. Was it right to even think about sending this letter? A blob of navy blue ink fell from her quill, and she gently blotted it with some tissue so she wouldn’t smudge it further with her hand. Sigh. She brushed a stray lock of hair back behind her ear, before retrieving it to fiddle with. One of those habits she had when thinking. Or over-thinking, as the case may be.
...to telling you that for once I’m following my heart. Surprising, I know, but it did take me a while to decide quite what to do. Thank you for giving me some confidence to go for what I truly want, and a desire to do what’s right.
She paused to reread what little she’d written. Atlas, Nia’s tawny owl, hooted impatiently from the window sill, a nod towards the previous attempts to start this letter already littering up her usually immaculate desk. “Go hunt,” she said to him softly, a wry smile on her lips. This was proving to be a hard task. Atlas would no doubt return before her writing was complete.
I miss you.
Her quill hovered once more, her hand shaking. The ghost of a tear appeared in the corner of her eye.
There’s an emptiness to my day without your banter. The way you know me so well, and can read me like a book. The flush of colour you always bring to my cheeks. The warmth I felt inside when you hugged me. The yang to my yin. I miss them, and I miss you.
She rubbed her now dry lips together. Those last words, a reference to the ball. Where it’d been all so right. And then all gone so wrong. Where this had all begun, and where Nia had fallen for not only one of her closest friends, but someone who wasn’t hers to have. The tear rolled down her cheek, and dropped on to the page. She wiped it away quickly.
I’m sorry, though I’m sure you already know that.
Anyway, I’m trying out for two Pro teams next month. I got offers from the Bats’ and Harpies’ reserve teams. I’m not sure I ever got round to telling you. My Ravenclaw teamies are coming round next week to help me brush up, and before well, everything, I’d been hoping you might come too. We spoke about one day getting the chance to play together, and you would be welcome to stay and see a bit of my world. Somehow, I figure now isn’t the right time. I wish it could be.
Nia let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. This...wasn’t quite what she’d planned on writing.
But thank you, for giving me the strength to follow my heart. I didn’t know it’d lead here. But for the moment, my heart is focused on getting me into the world of Professional Quidditch. Fingers crossed, huh?
Another tear threatened, and Nia swallowed.
I hope things haven’t been too difficult. Sorry. I truely can’t say it enough.
Joahae.
Nia x
She read it back through with a frown. She couldn’t decide whether she was happy with it or not. For the moment, it didn’t matter - Atlas wasn’t back. She put it into the envelope anyway, more so she couldn’t read it through again, and found herself addressing the envelope too. Laying it on her desk, Nia eyed the envelope for a few moments, before pushing back her chair and heading out of the room.
***
She’d sent the letter, eventually. She’d tried just stuffing it in her journal, but it had still managed to haunt her. His name written on the outside, in her own flowing but neat writing. She couldn’t bear throwing it away, not with what it contained. And thus, one evening of staring at it, and Atlas staring at her wistfully, wanting to go fly somewhere useful, she’d finally done it. She’d stood at her window to watch it slowly disappear into the distance. To wherever Raiden was, and to where her heart wasn’t supposed to belong.
And it didn’t. From now on, her heart belonged to Quidditch.
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