Is Tatertot Getting Soggy?
Greetings, my dear Moon Children, both new and old. Unless you have been blinded by the heavenly glow of the moon, you all surely have noticed that there have been some monumental changes at your beloved school. Our Mother Goddess has already shed some light on the appearance of educators appointed by the Ministry and even our dear Headmaster brought it to our attention during his speech at the Start of Term Feast. However, my dear little Moon Children, have you not noticed that there is a dark side to this story?
Headmaster Tate, or Tatertot as we gods and goddesses so lovingly call him, often preaches the ideology of constant vigilance, but it seems that he may being running low on this himself. During his speech, Tatertot said many things, but managed to hide in the shadows on others. If you happened to wander down to the Defense Training room, re-purposed by Tatertot himself, you may have noticed the gaudy sign hanging on the office that once belonged to a man admired by all.
Alas, the days of Tatertot as a professor are no more as it seems Lord Borr has taken up the post as your Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. History shows us that no good has come from a Ministry official taking up such a vital position, so why has your beloved Tatertot allowed this history to repeat itself? What has happened to his constant vigilance and, most importantly, his ‘do not die’ spirit?
Whispers in the night suggest that all this talk of constant vigilance has been nothing but a mask to cover a coward who bends to the will of the Ministry. However, as this goddess has been informed by several precious Moon Children, this is entirely the case. While Tatertot did partake in a rather amusing display of public humiliation when Lord Borr demanded that he and several handpicked students perform at a Ministry celebration in Diagon Alley – which shows that Tatertot will do whatever it takes to appease Ministry wishes – they also wanted to have the record state that he did rush them out of there before things became too intense, so he does still care for his students wellbeing.
It is no mystery that Tatertot does not fancy Lord Borr, so why give up a position that so many of his students admired him for. Take a moment, dear Moon Children, and think about what would make you do so? I look to the moon for my guidance and inspiration and, in doing so, have come to realize that Tatertot is hiding something under those handsome features of his.
Lord Borr may have discovered some dark secret of Tatertot’s past, or perhaps it was revealed to him that it was none other than Tatertot who was responsible for all the professors going missing last term. Or, perhaps this dark secret is that Tatertot is in fact part werewolf and, upon being threatened that his secret would be revealed to the wizarding world, has been blackmailed by certain Ministry officials and, in order to keep his post, must someone else to teach the subject. It would not be the first time in wizarding history for such concerns to arise. Perhaps the man is really a dark wizard who escaped from Azkaban years before taking up post as the Headmaster at Hogwarts and now the Ministry feels they need to come and observe him so that he does not snap. The theories are endless, my dear Moon Children.
Then, there is the more simplistic reasoning that our dear Tatertot is growing old. Having been Headmaster for four years now and was working in the now non-existing Department of Education prior. It could be that he has become tired of teaching you all, my dear Moon Children, and wants to handle the administration side of the school. However, this goes against his principle of constant vigilance.
Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years, dear Moon Children. We grow old by deserting our ideals.
Best keep your wits about you, dear Moon Children, for it would be very unwise for you to grow old in your youth and become a walking contradiction like your dear Headmaster.
It’s all moonshine,
Artemis