Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tazenhani 
Sabel sort of just stared at her. Agony and anger welled up in his gut, spreading like wildfire throughout his entire being. He couldn't move or speak for a good few minutes, numbed completely by the pain. When he finally found the strength, he untangled himself from Arya and slipped off the windowsill, walking a few feet away before stopping.
Running his hand back through his hair, he let out a slow, shaky breath. The last thing he wanted to do was fight with Arya. The last thing he ever wanted to do was to hurt her, in any way. But here he was, hurting her, and here she was, killing him.
Slowly, he turned back around to face her, his expression a mixture of extreme pain and anger. "I would have thought, seeing something of me, to remind you of me, would bring some sort of comfort. Some sort of happiness. You would rather I disappear off the face of the earth? That I leave you or Lexi nothing to be remembered by? Would that be easier, Arya? If seeing one of the things I care about most is so painful to you, is so painful a memory, why keep anything from me? Why even look at me now? Even more, if you are afraid of reminders, how are you going to look at the thing I care about most? How are you going to look at yourself?"
He could feel the tears running down his cheeks, burning them with the hot pain of the situation. "I am trying so damn hard to be strong for you. To be strong for Lexi. Hell, to even do the right thing for my own cat, for a creature I would consider akin to my brother. And all you can do is hit me down for it. All you can throw at me is jealousy and loathing. Do you not understand how bloody hard this is for me!?"
Bitting his bottom lip, he shook his head. He could feel his hands trembling furiously with the nerves, his voice quivering with the strain of fear. "If you didn't want memories Arya, if you don't want to see things to remember me by, then why? Why did you let this go on so long? Why didn't you just say so?" More tears fell from his cheeks as he stared at her helplessly, feeling as if his whole world was breaking again. "Why did you even say yes to me? I would have let you go, because I love you."
A hard swallow had his voice drop to nothing more than an agonized whisper. He felt like he was going to vomit. Like he would collapse at any given moment his body trembled so much. "You didn't have to say yes."
She didn't turn to look at him when she'd finished, didn't want to see the pain on his face. And so she let the silence grow between them. When he finally did move, it'd caught her by surprise, and her eyes finally did turn to him, the hurt in them evident as she watched him stalk off only to stop a few feet away.
When he started to speak, when each word started tearing her apart, she scooted to the back of the windowsill, tears streaming down her face in both pain and anger. It all but killed her to sit there and listen to what he had to say, to not just run off to the common room where she didn't have to worry about seeing him. But her own words that screamed to be released had her staying put.
"You were wrong. He won't bring me any happiness or comfort." Shaking her head, she looked at him through blurry eyes with a bit of disbelief mixed in with the hurt and pain.
"You think I want to see him running around and know that you won't be following behind like you always have? Like you never will again? I can take pictures and jewelry and everything else I have of you, but I don't think I can take seeing him without you." She wasn't even sure she
could take the material items.
She pushed back a few loose strands of hair, not bothering with the tears that never ceased as she choked back a sob, eyes averting downward to some absent spot on the windowsill.
"I never asked you to be strong for me, I never wanted you too. I just wanted you to be mine." And for her to be his.
"Do you know how hard it is for me? How much I hate all of this? Just because I get to stay, doesn't make it any easier." "I'd have memories, whether we did this or not, I'd have them. I've always had them, and I don't regret any of them." She pulled her legs to her chest, wrapping her arms around them as she rested her chin on her knees. Her words came out unnaturally calm, despite all her pain, anger, and tears.
"I don't know why I said yes, I guess... I guess I just really liked you. And I still do." More than she had admitted to.
"I wanted to say yes," she shrugged her shoulders lightly, more tears spilling over.
"I would have regretted saying no."