She is so loud, and flashy and loud. And fat. Merlin, she is really fat! And what is she doing? Singing? She says she’s serenading us first years! This is her welcome! My ears are screaming bloody murder!

Good Merlin, someone make it stop. Put the lady out of her misery! Wait, that’s already been done. Oh, her name is the Fat Lady. Appropiate. Wait, why is she looking at me like that? Is there something on my face? She looks so disgusted right now. How rude.

Gross to you, too!

Some people. It's not like she's a veela herself!