Hello Owen. Ok, so I've read and reread this and I'll comment on some things, but, other things I need to wait to gather more information before I can make any conclusions on.
First and mostly, thank you for giving us such a wonderful chapter. I love your writing and story telling abilities. Such good work!
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Neville's voice shook as he explained,
Just to say, more than my voice would be shaking if I was there and that happened.
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"Yes, Lily, it is important to know everything you can about someone you wish to be romantically involved with." Neville continued as if he had not made one of his favourite students blush, "it is du Seneschal."
Put on edge by the darkness, both of the room and the conversation, everyhone jumped at the sound of a raven's call. It came a second after Neville had announced Cei's surname. Madam Pomfrey, a firm believer in logic, unconsciously crossed herself at the sound's third repetition.
Neville gave Lilly a very straight forward answer, which happens to be very true, but, did he forget what it is to be young and feel embarrassed by statements like that? He seems to be on top of things here. Is he following up on something for Harry? Now, the raven's call; is it significant that it called three times? And where did the Raven come from? Hmmm, maybe Cei is an animagus! And his animal form is a raven! Don't mind me... I have periods of excitement that escapes me when I read a brilliant story like this. But I do wonder if the raven calling three times is significant.
Now.... the sir name of Cei; du Seneschal... This I need to take more time to study on. I know that Sir Lancelot's dad was of that name. And his kingdom was ruined. I know also that Cei is... well maybe I better not say anything else. I'll study on it some more. Lots of rumors and speculations, but somewhere in there is an explanation I'm sure.
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"Should that mean something to us?" Lily snapped. the reverence in Neville's tone had annoyed her - had he not just condemned the family as death eaters?
I'm not sure, but I don't think he did, did he?
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Exchanging exasperated looks, Ginny and Madam Pomfrey simultaneously shrugged and began separate tasks - one focussing on her patients, the other on her daughter. Neither noticed the sunlight return.
Owen, I loved this sentence! It's something I can visualize happening when a scene changes in a movie. Very nice.
OK, I'm finding that I need to just tell you instead of highlighting almost all of the next setting at the pup. I keep thinking of different guys these two characters could be, but, I'm thinking we haven't met them in the story yet. Or maybe they are two of the wizards that were at the meeting from the beginning of the story. I'll have to ponder on this for a bit. At first I wondered if the younger one might be Teddy or James, but, I'm thinking not. Especially sense the younger one got killed. But I also get the feeling that this younger one is fond of Cei in one way or another. (family or a friend?)
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Fletcher had done the right thing in waiting to try to find out the identity of the scarfed wizard before contacting the ministry. "C'mon Harry, give 'Dung a break - out on the field by himself he has to play the long game. Every time. Besides, he was probably drunk and didn't want to be recognised by the, er, victim."
Dung was one of the "muggles" hanging around drunk? And he was undercover? I don't see it the way Ron is seeing it. I think Dung is a suspicious guy. And I don't know why Harry is trusting him. (or maybe he's not.
) What's up with Ron anyway?
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"I said you cant blame 'Dung for the victim getting away." Ron knew better than to mention the victim's name.
RON! It would have helped me so much if you had been just a little brave to mention the name of the victum!
Owen, this part concerns me. I asked earlier, what's up with Ron?
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Any other news from your contacts?"
"Increased Goblin activity in Brittany, nothing to worry about though."
"Nothing in Wales?"
"Some worries about increased mist in the black mountains. Nothing unusual, though."
"Increased, probabable magic, activity is always unusual, Ron." Harry laughed, "If you're sure it's nothing, that's fine. Keep an eye though, will you?"
"Sure thing." Ron glanced at his watch, "Im supposed to be meeting Hermione for lunch, want to join us?"
"Surely, thanks." Harry held back a comment about Ron's expanding waistline, using the excuse of grabbing his coat to hide his expression.
Ron seems to be getting complacent,... or mercy! worse... not carring, maybe thinking Harry's chasing ghosts or something. I don't know. Or maybe he's tired of fighting and getting through just by the hair on their chin... He doesn't seem like a very good right hand man at the moment. And he's not taking very good care of himself what with the expanding waistline. Anyway, Owen, you really did a great job on this installment. I can't wait to read more. I might need to bug you on details about Cei's bloodline. (if that's ok) Don't worry, I won't try and get any information about the plot or anything.
Happy New Year Owen. I hope your New Year is everything wonderful. I'll be watching for your next chapter.