The next day was even worse, trust me. Olivia told me to meet her at the pathways which I ended up going, hoping this conversation with her would be better. Little did I know it wasn't going to be. She told me that she had kissed Aiden which upset me a little bit but then again it's only a fake relationship...right? Then I got frustrated with her because she liked Aiden alot and I could tell that inside her head she wanted us to "break up". I ended up having a breakdown in front of her, telling the entire plan. I could've cared less if she told everyone, my heart already had broken. So once I walked off I knew I would probably regret that decision of yelling it out to Olivia, but I might as well tell the truth.

Once I was done talking to Olivia, I was walking around the corridors and finally found an empty one. I went to the corner and sat down, crying once again. I ended up hearing someone sit next to me and it was Patrick. It was small talk at first but I ended up asking him some important questions...in my case. I asked him if the kiss between us before Hogwarts meant anything to him. [Remember I'm summarizing a few things, LilaDelilah] He said that he wasn't the type of guy to pursue a girl who's in a relationship and that it did mean something to him. That of course made me confused. I then told him that I tried so hard to impress him, like he said before, and I guess it didn't work. He said that it did work but I had chosen the wrong person. Wow, well doesn't that make me feel better? Then the bomb dropped once he told me that he kissed AND is together with Ella. Ending up with me crying and telling him about the whole plan. I need to keep some secrets to myself sometimes but I guess I didn't really care because he would find out eventually with Olivia telling everybody.

So I told Patrick the plan, more shouting and yelling continued. I seriously think I'll lose my voice one of these days, just wait. Anyways Patrick continued with the yelling, saying that it won't be like a muggle movie where we kiss and makeup and everything else. More yelling...-sigh-....then he said that he liked me only as a friend. WHAT WAS THAT FLIRTING FOR THEN? ...Boys confuse me, LilaDelilah. I then got Patrick back with saying that I'm not as idiotic as Ella and all of his other friends, which I know was wrong to say, but I was mad at that point. I couldn't really control my mouth. He then told me that it did mean something, I had to ask what it was then he said that our kiss meant something. So before I could say anything he kissed me. I knew I couldn't kiss him back, it would hurt too much. We decided that we would move on, we wouldn't be friends at the moment, but maybe later....or was that what I said? Ugh. I don't remember.

After talking/crying to Patrick I had a craving for some food, so I headed down to the Great Hall and sat down at the Gryffindor table. My appetite suddenly went away and I ended up sitting there alone for quite sometime. However after a few minutes Aiden came down and I almost screamed at him...I know he didn't do anything but still I was furious with people right now. We talked and we agreed that the fake relationship was done with. Another bomb dropped with him telling me that he liked ELLA as well. Why is it that my enemy gets all the boys?

I've finally written a letter to my mum. It's really short, but it will have to do seeming as there's tons of drama around me at this moment.

Well that is that, I can't wait to get away from my family and all of this drama. If it works out maybe I'll stay here in London. Who knows? I doubt it's going to work out though. I wish I could be that lonely and shy girl in the corner like last year. No drama surrounded me at all.

I'm sorry I haven't written anything in a while. My mother...had died from a heart attack about a week ago. The only thing on my mind right now is her and how I won't be able to see her anymore. What ended up happening was I was talking to Patrick in one of the empty classrooms and Bonnie ran inside, finding me. She showed me the letter and first I didn't believe it. However the looks on Patrick and Bonnie's faces told me it was true. My mother had died. We cried and I had no clue what to do. Where would we live? Could I even take care of Bonnie and myself alone? I'm only 17! Patrick ended up saying that he would help us move into an apartment and we could join him over the holidays. I respected his hospitality however would it only make matters worse or better? Once we were walking up to the common rooms, I asked him how Ella and him were doing. He said that they were fine and that Ella doesn't believe that he's over me. I asked him if he was and he said it directly to me, that he was over me; fully over me. It hit me like a wall and I almost went speechless. I ruined everything and it hurt. Bonnie was trying to help and asked Patrick who he was going with to the ball, he said that it would probably be Ella seeming as she's his girlfriend.

The next day I was in the Library and I saw Nikki. We talked for awhile and she helped me cope with my situation with my mother and everything. It helped out a bit but I really did appreciate it. I looked from her point of view that she didn't have a mother either but at least she had someone to live with. Maybe I could track down some of my relatives or something? I knew only one of my cousins and that was Hayley, however I never really talked to her that much. Once in a while maybe.

Later that day, I walked in the flower garden, as usual and bumped into this very gourgeous guy. His name is Milo....and he's dating Trixie. Fantastic. Just my luck. He was actually really nice though, he's a Ravenclaw as well. --Finally not a Slytherin. Too much drama. While I was talking to him I ended up asking him how Trixie was doing, if she ended up coming out from the Hospital Wing. I didn't have time to visit her seeming as I was too busy coping with my loss. Apparently Trixie lost most of her memory, she can only remember up to two months ago.

Oh and did I mention Olivia is moving? It's because of Savannah. Savannah is this evil and cunning girl who went to Beaxbatons with me, and I didn't like her then and I probably won't like her now. Great, more drama. Can anybody help me?

Again, I'm sorry I haven't written anything in so long. Tons of things have been going on and I've forgotten so many of them as well. So I'll just skim over the latest parts of what had happened. Hogsmeade had opened and so I met my little sister at Honeydukes. That was alot of fun seeming as I got all these candies and such. We talked about how we were feeling about the incident and she looked as she was doing so much better than me. Hopefully that was the way it seemed. Then I met Patrick somewhere in the back alley and we talked about somethings. He told me that he bought an apartment and that Bonnie and I would be living with him. I was so excited but it wouldn't help me from moving on from him.

Then I was back inside Hogwarts, talking to Savannah. Yes, Savannah. She's actually changed quite a bit, snobby still, but nicer. I didn't think that could actually happen. We talked for a while, just catching up with each other's lives. For the rest of the week I ended up keeping to myself, not really talking to anybody, just attending classes and such. While I was walking back from a class though I saw Savannah and Patrick, blood was everywhere and I ended up taking the two to the Hospital Wing. I couldn't believe no one would help them except for me! It was outrageous. Once we got into the Hospital Wing though everyone got healed so it was okay. I think I'm adjusting to having Savannah here. Whoever doesn't like Ella usually turns out to be my friend, so we'll see how it goes.

After the Hospital Wing, where everybody was healed, I met up with Aiden. We talked about how all three of us, Ella, Trixie and me were part of the problem as to why Aiden and Patrick fought. He thought that Patrick liked me or something because I would be living with him. I told him he was wrong, very wrong. Patrick told me that he didn't like me and that he was practically annoyed with everybody assuming it. It would never happen. How many times do I have to say that even though I want it to happen? Apparently he was having troubles like mine, just with Ella. Grrrr.

The next day were dance lessons. Fantastic. I was hoping Patrick would ask me to dance but that didn't happen. I ended up dancing with Blake. Little did I know, Blake was Nikki's boyfriend. Hehe. Nikki found us in the middle of our dance and she went off with him, leaving me there alone. I just ended up taking a seat and watching Patrick and this younger girl dance. Greatttttttt.

So I've been meaning to tell you something, LilaDelilah. I mean your name that is, because everyone deserves to know why they are named that. You are named LilaDelilah because Lila means light purple in German...well the last time I checked. Anyways purple is my favorite color so I had to choose that, then Delilah....well nobody knows this....but Delilah is my middle name. I know! I still haven't told anybody! Only my mum knew...not even Bonnie! I really like that middle name but nobody ever asks me what it is so I never tell them. Anyways that's why you're practically called "Purple Delilah." Pretty huh? Weird, I know, however you're used to it now. Wow, I'm talking to a diary. Anyways tomorrow is my birthday and I really hope I get something. I'm super excited!

Happy Birthday to me! Just kidding! Anyways I have alot to catch up with you on! ♥ Patrick and I are finally together! ♥ We went to Milo's Christmas party and it all happened there. Well we started off playing truth or dare and Ella dared me to kiss Milo....ewwww....and I had to wear this really stupid purple outfit, luckily it was purple, haha. Everyone started to have fits about it because Trixie was dating him and everything else. So the weird mind I had made me quickly kiss Milo just to get it over with. I felt pretty bad though because the looks on everybody's faces were just...wow.

Then Patrick asked me if he could talk to me outside. I said yes and we walked outside to talk. He asked me if kissing Milo meant anything to me, I told him no because it didn't. Milo was just my friend. I then asked him if he could stop with the whole hugging and holding my hand thing. If he didn't like me then it would be so much easier to move on if he didn't do any of that, you know? The next part had kind of faded in my memory but all I can remember is that he said he wanted another chance with me, to prove that he had changed...or something like that and he asked me to the ball. I said yes of course! Then he kissed me, I know, in my head I was thinking...WHAT IN THE WORLD? :O Thank you Milo for throwing that party or else none of that would've happen. Love you best buddy!

So the next day I ended up throwing a suprise Christmas party for Patrick and Bonnie. Everybody was there....even some people like....Ella. You should've seen Patrick and Bonnie's faces though! They were hilarious! They had no clue what was going on! That party was so much fun and I wished it could've lasted longer but something had come up. I had gotten a letter actually....that my cousin was going to stay with me and Bonnie during the summer, to learn the ways of Hogwarts. That meant I had to get a flat. Did I also mention....oh and don't tell anybody because I haven't told anyone yet....I'm having a funeral for my mum sometime in the Summer seeming as I can't do it now. :/ I'm thinking I should tell Bonnie first, but I'm not sure yet.........

The next post should be about the ball...hopefully nothing else comes up before then....