I guess I should update but first...*glomps Princess Thea as he puts Mr. Snow in a crate shipping to Cali* It's not first class...going Greyhound really but postage is expensive.
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Si, you're too cool. Thank you for reading. <3 It's the only heart I can make *shrugs* My computers evil.
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You never have too review Shannon, I'm just happy to have you be here at all. Seriously, I love you, and I totally love your story, and if I wasn't so addicted to chat I think I would have given you a proper reply in your own fic Sorry.
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Kelldar the Crusher *tackle glomps Kel* you're not behind...I wonder how much of that is actually story post...LOL...OMG! I'm such a lousy writer...I'm sorry to keep you all waiting...I used to post daily before and now I'm all bad. But this story is different...it's goofier and funnier and hopefully freer and more whimsical. Well, we'll see if I succeed in the end.
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Piper. You did show up...OMG! You're like the first person ever. Everyone else just says they're going to come visit. LOL. It's a fun thread so you don't even have to read my story...just hang out...I'd love to read your fic when it's up Piper...when you post let me know here, 'kay?
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Okay everyone...let me try and do a quick update...I promise you you'll never go a week without one. Even if I'm not daily...sorry loves. *glomps Everyone*

Last time on "Ottery's One Life To Live"...

I walked down the darknened hallways of the castle, as a cat, I reckoned it was best because they can see in the dark. I left the warm confines of the cozy Common Room to go find Ottery, because he wasn't there. It was funny seeing the castle from a completely different perspective, lower and closer to the ground. I wondered if Ottery would be able to tell it was me and not some stray that had wandered into the castle.
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The floor was cool beneath my paws, it was nice in the summer, it was warmer than we were accustomed too and the rains had not come down as they usually did during the season. I let out a mew, just to hear my voice and I skipped ahead just barely missing the Bloody Baron...I don't fancy a ghost going through me...even as a cat it doesn't feel nice. Like a cold wet finger being run down your spine, and you're covered in slime too. I don't think I would have liked having to lick that off as a cat.
I came upon them suddenly as I turned a corner. Glad that I was a cat and they couldn't see me, both because of my smaller size, the quiet tread of a feline's feet, and the shadow that covered the corner of the hallway. They were talking quietly but though there tone was not high or angry you could tell that they were hardly being warm to each other. (T: A Slytherin and a Gryffindor? What were they supposed to do? Square dance. O: *glares*)

"Wolfram...I can't say I know you," Ottery said, as he sat on the window sill of the castle with his arms crossed, a lighted candle next to him.

"St. Catchpole. I'm sorry I can't say the same," the Slytherin replied rather without shame.

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"Professor Dumbledore's favorite pupil...the worst student in the school, class clown...those were your knickers on the flagpole last year weren't they?"

Ottery blushed at that even as he smiled mischievously.

"It's an American thing. Salute my shorts." He said proudly. I couldn't help but laugh...which was funny because I didn't think cat's could laugh, it was something like trying to hack up a furball so I put a quick stop to that.

"Yes well, you New worlders...you've got quaint ways about you don't you?"

"Yeah well...we do fine thanks," Ottery replied. "What are you doing here? A bit early in the year isn't it?"

"I could ask the same of you." The boy replied.

"Yeah well, that's top secret."

"Ditto."

"Yeah, well that isn't going to work for me," Ottery replied menacingly and I thought it best then to step in. I walked out of the shadows.

"Hello," I said.

"Just the person I was looking for," Wolfram said.

"Why exactly is that?" Ottery asked ready to pounce.

"You his bodyguard or something?"

"Something is right." Ottery said, as I walked between them. I knew this conversation was not going to end well if I didn't stop it soon.

"You're a metamorphmagus aren't you?" He asked me suddenly ignoring Ottery.

"Yeah," I replied quietly.

"You'd have done better in Slytherin. If you're interested in being with a better class of friends..."

I had my hand at Ottery's chest by then to hold him back. He was angry, always quick with his temper. He wasn't particularly fond of Slytherins then either but then again we were in Gryffindor. So it came as a surprise then when Wolfram walked up to me and put something in my hand. It was a pin, a shield with an S made of a snake.

"If you ever need me, just call," he said and I turned to look at him curiously. Why would he be interested in me? Then it happened as quick as lightning, he pushed Ottery back causing him to fall to the floor and he kissed me, smiled mischievously and he started to walk away.

"Hey! Come back here you lousy..." Ottery started yelling obscenities after him and started running after him down the hallway as I stood there dumbstruck. I wondered why he wanted to have anything to do with me. I'd find out not too much later and I would regret it forever after, but just then I was surprised, and Ottery was angry.

You didn't see anything... hehe

I need to catch up... Not too far behind...

I see Ottery has been overtaken by the evils of chat... hehe *excellent* (always a Mr. Burns impression)

I will return... Oh yes...

great update, keep it coming
PAMs

Yeah, and it's given me a chance to catch up. But, I'm trying to figure out out whose story it is now...I mean, whose perspective? Mel's? I missed that part. I'm gonna go back and see if I can figure it out; I must have read it too fast.

Ok, So I'm up to date... I only had a few posts to read, really, just because I have't posted in awhile, doesn't mean I wasn't checking in...

*Rows by in her small boat* Well!! Look what I've found! The Captin's life story! lol. Its a good story Captin. I like the whole Casablanca thing. I love that movie. And Melissa is a cool character.

That last post was...wow. lol.

This is my first Ottery fic I'm reading, believe it or not. I have to get used to the continued spam. lol.

Anyway, post soon!

You're very welcome. Haha I stopped doing the other hearts. I do them every once in a while.

I see we've sucked you into the chat thread. It's a fun place to be.

*hugs* LOVED the update! Post more soon! <3

Ottery-Rocky, you have upset your Frank N. Furter. Now he is going to sob uncontrollably and never stop.

Ottery, of course I showed up!!! How could you think I wouldn't. I stick to my word, learn that. I still don't have my ff up yet, bu I will soon. Keep posting, ok?

Piper
P.S. Don't you just love this smilie? Go BANANAS!!

*glomps Lissylove* Yes chat is evil, I haven't updated my fic and I'm ignoring everyone elses to be with you beautiful people at the chat. Evil. Evil I say. LOL That's why I love it. I love evil. LOL.
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Allucha, thanks for coming back. I've been reading your story I've just been, uhm busy with the chat to post...LOL It's addictive, it's evil, don't go to the chat kiddies. LOL
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Kelldar the Crusher LOL *glomps Kel* It's David's perspective, you know the metamorphmagus boy back at the beginning of the story. Old friends will be making a comeback, I didn't want to just create them and then drop them. But you'll see soon. Also I was experimenting with first person perspective, I always use omnicient narrator so I thought...just see how well I could pull it off. I think I did okay.
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So you're spying on me Lissy? LOL *glomps* You're always welcome here, and post when you can, I know how busy you are with the chat...er Uhm I mean your new mod duties. LOL.
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Hermione *lets her on the boat* welcome aboard and spam all you want. LOL.
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Si, you've got a big heart anyways so it doesn't matter what kind of hearts you use *winks* <3 So whadda ya think? Too slow too confusing? Too Ottery? LOL
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*glomps Ronboy, wipes his eyes and gives him lots of smoochies because he's cute* I'll Rp. It was that evil chat I tell you. LOL
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Piper. Gotta love those crazy 'nanners don't ya? Let me know when your fic is up, and I'm glad you keep to your word. I always try to.
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I love you all. I'm gonna see if I can post more and I'm sorry I'm so caught up in chat I've been neglecting you all even though you're lovely peeps. *glomps everyone* Here goes nothing.

Oh, look who decided to drop in!? Nice to see you, stranger! Glad to see you were able to tear yourself away from the Gofers and pop in.
I did go back and find that it was David. And yes, you are doing well.

When last we left our intrepid heroes in the hot seering city of Casablanca...

Melissa had dragged her reluctant charge into the market streets of Morocco, since they could not leave except under the cover of darkness. She had his wand in her pocket and he sulking, followed her everywhere, until they had reached a fabric bazaar, and there distracted by the fine silks and imported fabrics he had managed to pickpocket his wand back and escape. When Melissa turned around to ask him which color looked better on her, she chanced to see a couple of pigs wearing German soldier uniforms and Ottery missing which automatically meant, something was amiss. The dark haired boy was sitting inside the top hatch of a German tank, when she came around the street corner, followed by three German piggies, and that's when the yelling had begun.
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"Ottery I'm giving you three seconds to get off of that tank, before I start blasting things. I'm not kidding," Melissa threatened, but for the three pigs in uniform standing around her she was an imposing figure for a girl of fifteen.

"No!" Ottery yelled pouting. He was being his usual stubborn self.

"Look Mister. I don't know what you think we're going to accomplish stealing a German tank but..."

"I'm going to make that lousy, stinking German son of..."

"Ottery! I'm a lady, try to remember that." Melissa said pushing her brown curls out of her face. A warning sign that her patience was wearing thin.

"Aww c'mon Mel, you're no more a lady than I am..." before he had been able to finish that thought she had jumped on the treads of the tank and she was at his side her hand a fist.

"You were saying?" She asked, as she leaned close to his face causing him to bend backwards away from her threatening stare.

"I'm going to kill him, and you can't stop me." Ottery replied defiantly.

"What is the fuss all about you crazy git?"

"He stole...he stole...something," Ottery replied refusing to look into her eyes.

"Fine. Lets get it back, and be done with it." Melissa reasoned.

"It's not that easy." Ottery whispered.

"Ottery make some bloody sense!" She screamed.

"He stole my kiss. He stole my first kiss." Ottery replied tears streaming down his eyes.

Melissa started gave him an odd look, a disbelieving glance, and then she started laughing. That long loud throaty laugh that was unabashed and seemed to shake all of her. Ottery loved that laugh, it was beautiful, joy unfettered. He loved that about her. He smiled.

"Ottery you dork. It's not the first kiss that counts," she said, "It's all the one's that come after."

"Oh shut up Mel, what do you know. You've never been in love."

She stopped laughing then and gave him an angry stare. "You stupid blind...egotistical, insufferable..."

"Outta the way camel!" Ottery threatened.

"Men! You're impossible. This world would be so much better without you crazy, uncouth..." Melissa was ranting now, and in her distracted state Ottery went for his wand. He jumped away from Melissa's grasp and she pulled her wand too but not to stop him. She knew it was too late for that.

A blinding flash of bright light kept the bystanders from seeing Ottery's magical mayhem. He had in his desperation turned the camel into a mouse. Melissa's quick thinking had kept his magic secret. It seemed that she was always trying to cover up the boys tracks, back at Hogwarts it had been the same and now things were no different. Her temper was flaring. Except for the war she knew that the local wizarding authorities might be apparating any minute now to arrest them. Sadly, among her many talents speaking Arabic, German, was not amongst them.

Hiya Ottery!!
*tackle glomps Ottery!!*

Yay! *dances to disco music* I get to see Snow I get to see Snow!!
Thanks Ottery you Rock! All hail Prince Ottery!!:worship:
And cause we are celebrating!! :bubbly: :bubbly:
These New Smiles rock!!
I love Snow!!

Well I love your story!
Love ya
The Mob Boss Princess Angel
Princess Thea

So that's what all the fuss is about? A stolen kiss? Otts, your such a romantic How sweet.

hey, i can speak arabic, and german sort off, hehe
and its great to see u update your post after chatting with the Gofers

*steps off her small and walks aboard* I like it here. Better than the hostile shipping ships. lol. I like Mel a lot. She and Otts make a good couple. lol. But dont pull an Oliver Twist and have her beat to death. *shudders* That was scary. Anyway, great post! Loved it!

You totally snuck in there while I was posting... *glomps Kelldar the crusher even as he's blushing* I can't help it...*is there right now* the Gofers are cool. I loved chatting with you the other day, you should check in when you can to see if I'm there...it's goofy fun. *laughing hysterically* I love it. But I love you all too.
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Princess Thea. You so need to change your location...put something like..."Waiting for Ottery's Care Package...a.k.a. Mr. Snow... it's a beautiful day outside w00t. And thank you for hailing me... *Ottery turns to Teddy* Open hailing frequencies number one!
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Kell...uhm... kisses are very important.
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Ali, you're back *glomps* I wish I could speak Arabic and German...well not German so much...I'd prefer French or Portuguese...keep updating your story it's really interesting. *tells his audience* you all should check it out but only if you've read HBP...click Allucha's siggie.
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Hermione. *glomps* Don't worry, you can ship anything you want here and we wont go all wonky faints on you >> like this or this >> Mel's cool, she's my curly brown haired heroine...but...I can't say what's gonna happen. *looks out the window* it's our first cold of the season and that means that winters come...*starts to feel melancholy* I remember Mel...*wipes a tear* but remember it's 2005 now...Update...if SS doesn't crash...it's being really slow right now.

"Sorry Mel, but you wouldn't understand," Ottery said as he pushed her off the tank. She landed softly on a cushion that Ottery had apparated in the blink of time it took her to fall. Just as he was the faster speller of the two he was also a considerate but ultimately insufferable, pain in the...well thanks to the cushion really there wasn't any pain. She sighed as the dark haired boy rolled off in the tank picking up the sand and throwing dust in the warming air of the old city street.

She started walking next to him, jogging to keep up.

"Ottery this thing is a tank not an Austin-Healy it can't go very fast." She said stubbornly.

"You're not going to stop me Mel."

"Boys never listen to reason," she said, as the three little German piggies followed behind her, squealing in protest. She huffed loudly, turned around and turned them back into humans, not caring anymore if anyone saw her or not. Ottery on a stolen German tanks was bound to cause enough of a ruckus with the Muggles that she didn't think they would mind seeing some magic.

"Think about Rick, Otts, is this how you're going to repay him back? Crushing his bar. Don't be thick."

(T: She was young wasn't she. Ottery not being thick, why didn't she just ask you not to breathe? O: One of these days Teddy, one of these days...Pow! Right in the kisser)

The tank stopped abruptly, a street away from the Cafe Americain. The boy looked determined, but quiet. He had come to a decision she knew.

"It's nice to see you listening to reason for a change Ottery," she said as he hopped off the tank.

"You're right. I'm going to go in there and blast his block off!" The boy yelled.

As he started to walk back to the bar Melissa whispered, "I'm sorry Ottery," as she blasted him into sleep. His body lay on the ground unconscious. She knelt next to him and ran a hand through his hair. "The things you make me do you stupid crazy otter."

Yay readers. *glomps them* Mwahahahaha...it took a slow chat to get me to post.

k I ship Otts/Mel! lolz. Just, dont kill her off. lol.

cool post. Otts was shot down! lol. Post soon. Im acually reading this. lolz

w00t!!! I managed to get into Ottery's fic after about ten minutes. Ten minutes to read. Ten minutes to get a screen to reply in. Hmmmm... Ten more to post? Well, my dear Ottery, this is gonna be a 30+ minute venture for me. Ahhhhh you're worth it....

SS is being a slug!!!

I digress.

Chat has an excess of evil, yes. I will frequent it even more, now that you are there, my dearie! Feel free to ignore fics to come see us... (Just not yours) I will always make room in my busy schedule to come here and to see you there... What? I get stuff done! All of my spy chat MSN work that is... hehe I would never shirk my duties! Buahahahahahaha!

I think my post made no sense. But it's ok, I'm sick and I think I have a fever.


Oh, and by the way, it's not terribly nice to leave us on a cliffie with an unconcious Ottery!

Loves ya anyway!
Lissy

Hermione *glomps* You're so cool to actually be reading my story *whispers* No one else is, but you and Si I just like to pretend that I don't know that they're not reading... I'm just happy to have you all here...well...since you're reading...and you've got a ship *sighs* I'll post more.
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LissyLove. That was so beyond sweet. I really don't deserve a friend like you I don't *tackle glomps**sniffles* I didn't know you were a spy? Who for? The CIA, the Mossad? MI6? Or will you have to kill me if you say? *overly excited* I always wanted to be a spy...*grrrr Pierce*
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Okay, so here's some more...due to the super slowness of SS...I will reply and post in the same one...

:bubbly:

He woke up with a thundering headache, surrounded by darkness and the sound of a rhythmic clattering. Ottery grabbed the back of his aching neck. It didn't feel wet, so he wasn't bleeding, and that at least was a good thing. He checked his pockets but his wand was not there. Just where the devil was he? Given the sound, he could feel the wood beneath his hands, and the straw over it, he was in a boxcar. He was on a train, but where? Because he well knew where he was headed if his suspicions were right.

"Lumos," a soft voice called out in the dark.

Melissa was sitting across from him. She was dressed more appropriately for the occassion, gone where the pretty dress that she had worn back in Casablanca replaced now by khaki pants, a bomber jacket, and very big black boots. Ottery wondered for a second that she had not kicked him in the back of the head, it hurt so much, and he would not put it past her, given the trouble he had given her.

"Where are we?" He asked, sitting up.

"On the Hogwarts Express of course," she said smiling mischievously.

"If you weren't a girl Mel, I'd sock you one."

"Ottery. Shut up." She said, throwing the dark haired boy a smile and a bottle of aspirin. "You probably need those. My sleeping charms never seem to come off painlessly. I've never been very good at them." She admitted.

"Where are we going?" He asked, hoping his suspicions were wrong.

"Back to Britain, where do you think? Ottery, Dumbledore has you doing something important, and whatever that is you have to do it. Ruben and David are waiting for you and..."

He stopped her at the mention of his friends. He had not known they would be back at Hogwarts. A part of him felt a familiar warmth in his chest, at the prospect of seeing his friends again, but...

"I don't want to go back. I can't believe you suckered me." He replied, completely believing that she had gotten the better of him, just very surprised that she had resorted to such underhanded tactics to get him out of Casablanca.

"You can't believe I suckered you?" She asked incredulously.

"You kept me from my revenge." Ottery replied angrily, the villains face fresh in his mind, along with that old memory.

"Look Ottery, I don't know what you and this Wolfram guy have got against each other but it isn't important. (T: Not yet anyways, O: Teddy shut up...no spoilers). There's a whole world out there at war and all you can think about is some stupid kiss...and just what did you mean by that? Ottery, the man's like forty and you're fifteen?"

"I didn't mean anything. Besides it wasn't me he kissed." Though it escaped Ottery, Melissa sighed a little, in relief at those words. "Now can I have my wand back?" The boy demanded petulantly.

"Not until you tell me what you meant by that," she asked hiding her jealousy masterfully. Just who's kiss had he lost anyways?

"Nothing Mel, nothing, okay." The boy replied placatingly. "Besides, you're not going to give it back are you?"

"Not until we're in the same room as Dumbledore, I don't trust you, you troublesome little..."

Ottery stuck his tongue out at her and sat against the other wall of the train, crossing his arms and pouting. But Melissa could be such a pain sometimes. Still, the truth was she had gotten the better of him, and there were few people who could. There was a weakness in his heart he knew for Melissa...something about her laugh that made him love her, though he would never admit that to her or himself.
In her own way, Melissa had a hold on his heart...but someone else had the rest. He sighed, and closed his eyes, resigned to returning to his secret work for Dumbledore. He pondered if maybe he should not tell Melissa everything, to give up his secret, but it was not his alone, and he was not going to do it without the others permission. After everything that he had put them through the last thing he wanted was to betray them. He felt the weight of their dilemma and though they never held it against him, Ottery well knew it was his fault. If they had not come to school after him, they would not now be embroilled in the same mess that they all were in.
He wanted to choke Dumbledore. He really did. He cursed the day that man came into his life...and then he blessed it in the same breath. It had gotten him away from that evil witch, his aunt. He sighed and lost himself in his thoughts, while Melissa chattered in the background about the uselessness of men in general, and what a pity it was women had to put up with them.

O_o *Upon more careful reading* I was not shot down...someone just got there first...hmph...*pouts*

Ottery, my dear, you are so sweet yourself. I say that I don't deserve you, but then we just wouldn't deserve each other and that's just crazy In summary, I'm grateful to have you as a friend and am happy to be posting. I promise I won't stop again! You're stuck with me. Again.

Besides, this fic is getting really intriguing. Secret missions, vendettas, old loves lost, Casablanca, flashbacks through time - you have it all! Dying to know more!

Spy? Moi? hehe... I'll teach you the special spy handshake... No, not me! Never!

*sigh* This is taking so long, I think I'll be camping out in your fic again. Ah, well, maybe Si will send me the minions.

Loves,
Lissy

PS: If I missed any typos, sorry it just takes too long to go edit right now.